Obama related to Brad Pitt, is Reptilian

During an intimate press conference held at 4:00 this morning, presidential candidate Barak Obama admitted to being related to Brad Pitt. He also confessed that he and many of the powerful figures in Washington DC are in fact shape-shifting reptilian aliens from the Draco system bent on the domination of the human race.

According to researchers at the New England Historic Genealogical Society, Barack Obama in a distant cousin of Brad Pitt, star of hit films such as Ocean’s Thirteen and Fight Club.

When asked about the possibility of a wedding between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, Obama offered no new information, saying only that he knows they are happy together and Jolie is an excellent vessel for the continuation of the Illuminati bloodlines.