Houstonians Have More Sex Than Anyone in the U.S.

Richard Connelly,Houston Press: Houston, you are one horny town. At least according to a highly scientific survey done for Trojan condoms. Um, make that a semi-demi-scientific survey.

A polling company invited people to take an online survey and compiled 1,000 responses; the results: Houstonians can certainly bone it like they own it. The survey says we have sex 101 times a year; people in the hellhole of Dallas-Fort Worth make it only 73 times a year. San Francisco is allegedly just sixty times a year.

So you can see why we might believe the “scientific survey” ain’t so scientific Trojan spokesman Bjorn Trowery tells Hair Balls the results “maybe just show Houstonians have a better taste in life and the simple things … It’s not that there isn’t a lot to do in Houston, it’s a big city.”

Houston was “head and shoulders” over the second-place city, Trowery said, but he’s yet to send us the promised report. Most cities fell in the 70-80 times a year range, he said. New York was 80 times a year, he added, “and I thought that was high.”

Just to be sure, we made sure that the “sex” involved was a) sex with and without condoms; and b) between two people. “Yes…nothing mastubatory or anything like that,” he says. So, continue to get it on, Houston.