Mayoral Control Foils Soviet Plot

June 26, 2009 (GBN News): A shadowy group of former Soviet officials is quietly poised to take over the NY City school system if Mayoral control is not renewed, according to a senior City Hall official. The official told GBN News that it was this plot Mayor Bloomberg was referring to yesterday when he warned that the loss of Mayoral control would “revive the Soviet Union”.

More chilling, however, is that this group sees the school system as only the first in a series of dominoes, culminating in a complete Communist takeover of the US. Mayor Bloomberg is said to feel that he is the only political figure in a position to foil this plot, by holding the line at the city schools. In fact, says the official, the entire Mayoral control battle was never about Mr. Bloomberg himself, but over nothing less than the survival of the free world. In the same vein, the Mayor was quoted as having justified his overturning of term limits by telling his aides, “Sometimes you have to destroy democracy in order to save it.”

GBN News asked J. Fredrick Runson, Dean of the School of International Affairs at Manhattan University, how the Mayor was able to ascertain the extent of the plot. “He looks at what he’s been trying to do with his own absolute power,” said Dr. Runson. “And he figures those old Soviets are trying to so the same thing. Or, to use the schoolyard vernacular, ‘it takes one to know one’.”

In a related story, the city Department of Education has awarded a no-bid, $10 million consulting contract to an Iranian paramilitary organization to once and for all control the cell phone problem in public schools. News reports that Basij paramilitaries were seen “beating people seen using mobile phones” convinced Chancellor Joel Klein that these methods could be effective in the NY City schools. A “News Hour” report that opposition demonstrators were reduced to hiding cell phones in bushes to avoid being caught was reminiscent of the way many NY City students must leave their cell phones in bodegas to avoid similar consequences. Apparently fearing that cell phones might be used to promote democratic protest in city schools, or even to support the purported Soviet plot, Mr. Klein felt that more stringent measures were needed.

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