Marty Beckerman Hates Fat People … And Tells Them

Marty Beckerman’s really going to make some big enemies with his latest blog rant, Kill Fatty: A Modestly Sized Proposal. Here at disinformation we published his book (mostly) about politics, Dumbocracy: Adventures with the Loony Left, the Rabid Right, and Other American Idiots, but I’m not sure we would have had he included his latest assault on the weight-challenged. Here’s a sample, and don’t hold back on your comments, Marty likes to feature hate mail on his blog:

Overweight people are fucking abhorrent, which seems like an obvious and uncontroversial statement, but you cannot turn your head these days without gawking at the vile cascades of shapeless distended flesh that ubiquitously engulf your grotesque countrymen.

Look at these nauseating statistics:

1. 33 percent of Americans are overweight, according to the federal government.

2. Another 34 percent are obese, which is even worse.

3. Six percent are “extremely obese,” which is code for “must be airlifted by helicopter to leave their goddamned trailers.”

4. Nearly a fifth of American children are overweight, three times more than in 1994 when the Internet replaced playing outside, and by “outside” I mean “Super Nintendo Entertainment System.”

The horrendous bovine masses cost the rest of us $147 billion per year, twice as much as a decade ago, which is more than enough to cover a universal health care system for people who do not plan on dying from a heart attack by the time they reach the ripe old age of thirty-six. These repulsive fat fucks require 41 percent higher medical costs on average, which screws everybody who does not get horny at the thought of KFC’s unholy Double Down sandwich. (No bread! Just fried chicken, cheese and bacon! As fatty as three Big Macs! This is exactly why George Washington and Thomas Jefferson risked their fucking lives to give Americans freedom!)

We are squandering the precious remnants of our broken economy to keep these worthless sacks of shit alive; it’s not as if they cover their disproportionate share of the tab, which would require actually getting off their colossal asses. Public health experts have proposed taxes on soda and unhealthy food to curb this epidemic, but their “solutions” are a load of ineffective, half-assed bullshit. Zoning restrictions on fast food “restaurants” and mandatory nutrition labeling have likewise failed; you cannot save people from themselves, especially when they have zero respect for their physical appearance and estimated lifespan.

We are Rome in decadent, self-indulgent decline. The corpulent hordes are never going to willingly sacrifice their extravagant caloric intake—even if it costs a few cents more—which leaves a solitary, mildly objectionable option:

We need to kill the fatties. We need to kill the fatties as soon as humanly possible…

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  • nyxynox

    Are you kidding me? How about concentration camps where inmates have to work off their flab and if they don't in a perscribed amount of time we can gas them or burn them alive. I know, we can perform medical experiments on them without putting them under – because they don't really feel anything through all that fat. That way we can breed them out of existance making way for the thin master race.

    • Name

      wow why is it when everyone wants to express a view they always turn to the concentration camps. its not the first time of an attrocity, just look at what the colonials did to the islanders and the indians.

      • nonfictionally

        Yeah, so. Bringing up the camps is more fun. duh.

      • connie dobbs

        I miss Godwin.

  • Name

    As a person who has always been the heavy side of average, not obese, just slightly overweight…I can't say I completely disagree with the rant. However there must be underlying causes that can be dealt with. Does anyone in the world really want to be 1200lbs? I can't imagine it. I put a lot of it down to poor education and the prevalence of cheap unhealthy fast food. I spend a lot of my day sitting for my job, but I also cut calories way down on those days. I exercise when I can. My weight can fluctuate between 176-295, depending on muscle mass, mood, stress. I am 6″3'. We should try to kill the fat first and deal with the mouth breathers later.

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/PDDVWRQVUPMKRGHURIEQVNYWHQ Sean

    personally i don't think we should spending to keep anyone alive,
    if you don't care enough to keep your self alive you don't deserve life.I don't mean those horrible fat people, I mean anyone.

    I do love the hypocrisy of how fast those who call for freedom advocate government force to “correct” anyone they don't agree with

    >but I don't see how he is any different from all the other “journalists” like ann coulter, rush limbaugh and their ilk who make money saying the most shocking things they can.

  • fat babe

    Would it hurt Mr. Beckerman to know I have a Master's degree, a full-time job paying above the national average, own my own home, have health insurance, rarely eat fast food, and pay taxes? Oh, and I'm a middle aged female in the obese catagory. Not wonderful, but I don't ask any one to take reponsiblity for me except me. You don't have to look at me, but you will have to get out of my way.

    • connie dobbs

      use your health insurance for some gastric bypass surgery so you stop eating the country.

  • Bored Reader

    Dear Mr. Beckerman,

    That whole gonzo journalism shock thing…. it's not new or unique. There was this guy called Hunter S. Thompson, I believe you've heard of him. It might have worked for him, but it just makes you look like a very shallow, sad little douche.

    Signed,
    Bored yet Unoffended Reader

  • Name

    Amen, Mr. Beckerman. Fatties are disgusting.

  • Buffet

    I agree 100%. How refreshing that someone finally has the guts to state in print what we all think. You rock man!

  • Yazi

    I've always said, if you're not me, and you're not fucking me, mind your own goddamn business.

  • Monkey's Uncle

    I just took a poo in the toilet and I named it Marty Beckerman.

  • Yazi

    Yeah, “Name,” and you're an asshole. I can lose weight.

  • Yazi

    The previous statement was in response to:

    “Amen, Mr. Beckerman. Fatties are disgusting.”

  • Anti-Buffet

    If you're ALL thinking it, there's not too much thinking going on…

  • Name

    by definition isnt this hate speech directed at a chosen lifestyle (lol)

    • http://drewt333.blogspot.com/ drewt333

      Yes, it is. But mostly it's a sophomoric rant designed for self-promotion. I really doubt Mr. Peckerman hates anything, except actually working for a living.

  • Buffet

    Fact is – fat people are lazy and stupid. There IS NO excuse. They are that way because they choose to be! Sloth is a sin. So is casting a shadow equivalent to a solar ecilpse. These disgusting swine are the reason for our health care crisis. They indulge their slovenly, moronic lifestyle, manage to somehow reproduce with each other, encourage the same in their hideous offspring, and procede to burden our health care system with their myriad number of maladies and afflictions – ALL of which they predispose themselves to, by continually inflating themselves to ponderous pachyderm proportions.

    • Anti-Buffet

      You're a f***ing jerk.

      • Buffet

        I'm a bodybuilder. One who rarely has to resort to obscenities and name calling to get my point across. Why? Because I'm secure in my identity – and my body.

  • tonyviner

    Fat people need help from the rest of us. People tend to liken it to diseases like alcoholism or AIDS, and I guess we treat them as such, too. Nevermind, we're screwed.

  • gmanscout

    Everyone hates fat people, even fat people hate fat people.

  • R. D.

    I agree with this rant, mostly, up until the killing part…and I believe the “sin” of obesity is gluttony…though you can probably throw sloth somewhere in there too. If someone REALLY wants to lose poundage, they can if they work at it and want to do it in the first place.
    On the other hand, not ALL fat people have serious health problems, either.
    Personally, I've never had to even think about eating (except what's healthy) and/or weight…just lucky, I guess; plus I don't sit on my ass all day, 24/7, 365, either.

  • Name

    he is really talking about jews isn't he

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/KNUTHSN5EJXAAGEMVUZXQ4CDOM Antonio

    true very true it takes guts to speak the truth but this guy is great love it.

  • ignored

    i hope the people on here making those comments dont have a fat family member because if this is how you would treat other people that family member is going to notice eventually and i hope you are in a situation where they are the only one who can help you in that moment and they ignore you just like how you ignore them and if no one in your family is fat i hope you never have a child that is in danger and the only person around is a fat person or overweight person because then you might have to say thank you for saving your child you know the saying treat others the way you want to be treated

    • Name

      Is your “shift” key broken?

  • Maurice Zendak

    People are fat simply because they do not shit enough.

  • Buffet

    Yuk. How could you eat somthing so grotesque and fowl smelling??? Just stick with pork. The kind made from four-legged hogs.

  • fatty

    How about if we eat them after we kill them?

    • Buffet

      Yuk. How could you eat somthing so grotesque and fowl smelling??? Just stick with pork. The kind made from four-legged hogs.