Chuck Norris: Public Health Care Would Have Killed Baby Jesus

ChuckNorrisDaniel Tencer writes on RAW Story:

‘Will Obamacare morph into Herodcare for the unborn?’ Hollywood star asks

Movie star and Mike Huckabee booster Chuck Norris has dragged the “War on Christmas” into the health care debate.

Norris has penned an article in which he suggests that Jesus Christ would have been among many “great souls” who would have been “erased from history” had a health plan similar to the one proposed by the Democrats existed in the Levant 2,000 years ago.

In a column published at the conservative Human Events blog earlier this week, Norris suggested that if a government-run health care plan had existed in Bethlehem at the time of Jesus’ birth, the shame of Mary’s “out-of-wedlock” pregnancy would have pushed her into aborting her child.

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25 Comments on "Chuck Norris: Public Health Care Would Have Killed Baby Jesus"

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  2. girlmachine | Dec 20, 2009 at 5:04 pm |

    There should be a name for an argument like this, like the Hitler argument, Godwin's Law. Like once you started talking about how something would have affected baby Jesus, your argument is automatically null and void, because you are obviously an idiot. I'm talking to you, Chuck Norris.

  3. Not to mention that the “shame” associated with unwed mothers comes directly from these puritanical christian assholes…

  4. Conners has never been the same since he was killed by Bruce Lee in that movie.

  5. “…to avoid the ridicule, ostracizing, persecution and possible stoning because of her out-of-wedlock pregnancy?”
    But Mary was married, Chuck. Go read the bible again.
    “Imagine all the great souls who could have been erased from history and the influence of mankind if their parents had been as progressive as Washington's wise men and women! Will Obamacare morph into Herodcare for the unborn?”
    Priceless drivel heheh.

    • Yeah, like Dr. Stephen Hawking!

      …What's that you say? Grew up under a socialized health care system? Credits that with his survival?

  6. Tuna Ghost | Dec 20, 2009 at 8:40 pm |

    Chuck, why do you keep breaking my heart with your ceaselessly ridiculous arguments? Please return to kicking people on televisio while wearing tight jeans, we've missed you

  7. GoodDoktorBad | Dec 20, 2009 at 9:30 pm |

    I think that Ol' Chuck forgot to use the headgear once too often. To think I used to actually think he was cool way back when. Him and Arnold the “Governator”. Fucking Assholes…

  8. Word Eater | Dec 20, 2009 at 10:26 pm |

    He needs to read his bible better. Mary was told by The Angel of the Lord that she'd be pregnant with the child of the Almighty God.

    If the God of the Universe told me to keep my baby, I'd probably do it.

    O ye of little faith, Chuck. I am ashamed.

  9. Rev. Simon | Dec 21, 2009 at 2:58 am |

    Uh, given that Jesus was supposedly the Son of God meant to die on the cross, I doubt that God the Father would have allowed a silly thing like a particular health care system end His “saving the world” project prematurely. After all, as the story goes, God did keep Jesus safe when Herod ordered the killing of male babies and all. What a douche.

    • GoodDoktorBad | Dec 22, 2009 at 1:08 pm |

      Just curious, who's the douche in your story? I count three….God, Herod and Chuck (Jesus was just a kid). Not necesarily in that order.

  10. emperorreagan | Dec 21, 2009 at 3:01 am |

    Can you imagine what would have happened to baby Jesus if God had invented the coat hanger and the devil had been preaching about socialized medicine back in the day?

    • Yes, perhaps Jesus's robes wouldn't have had so many wrinkles and there would have been fewer lepers for him to heal

  11. Chuck makes several leaps, the idea that having health care has something to do with shame of out of wedlock pregnancy. And of course as several others have pointed out, Mary was married. And the father was the God the Yooniverse, not some deadbeat who slipped her some E.

    Of course the thing that Chuck and other miss about abortion…whatever your religous/moral views of it…it's legal in America so there is no reason federal dollars shouldn't go toward abortion. I used to be a Xian and I can tell you Xian girls are horny little trollops because Xian parents treat sex like some dirty thing that you do with the lights off and only if they've planned ahead for conception…and of course the logic of young people is: if adults aren't talking to me about it, it must be GREAT.

    Once sex becomes demystified and approached healthfully, millions of young people won't think of it as just another forbidden recreation like drinking, smoking and driving too fast.

    but I still say Chuck, after being killed by Bruce Lee, that although they brought him back to life must have suffered brain damage from that incident.

    fiat lux

  12. i see………..soooooooooooo the all powerful inseminator of the mom would be powerless here………, pray that mental health is in your overpriced policy, Chuckie (your best work)

  13. Stick to selling the Total Gym, dude.

  14. damn you chuck……damn you.
    why couldn't you fade away when you were still cool.
    now all you will be remembered for is slow-mo body doubled bad action series and straight to dvd garbage,
    infomercials and hitching your wagon to the falling star of the republican party… used to be the shit.

    • Tuna Ghost | Dec 21, 2009 at 7:56 pm |

      Easy now, whatever his ridiculous and offensively ignorant arguments are, let's not do something stupid and say that Walker: Texas Ranger wasn't the best thing CBS had to offer for many years

  15. Chuck's a dumb motherfucker. Why do we actually have to debate religiofanatic, science hating neanderfucks who haven't realized that their idealized America of the 1950's never existed in the first place?

  16. yeah his tears may cure cancer but man what a asshole

  17. michaellaw | Dec 30, 2009 at 12:51 pm |

    He's barking mad! I live in England and everybody I know was born under the free public National Health Service, me , my children, my grandchildren (in and out of wedlock). A free public service works here and works brilliantly, ignore those right wing loonies who say people die because of it it's absolute rubbish, poor people in the UK are much healthier than poor people in the USA as they get all the healthcare they need free, as does anyone else who lives in England. I'm a diabetic and I wouldn't be alive if I had to afford the insulin and other medication I need in as I would in the USA.

  18. Chuck Norris isn't that far away from the truth. Today you have to pray to Jesus and hope that you don't get ill because you simply can't afford health insurance. This is a real problem and it should be addressed.
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  19. autraveldeals | Aug 19, 2010 at 8:34 am |

    I don't trust Obama. Let's see: he rejected all European help in the first week for the Gulf. He promised us that Obamacare would not cost us. He lied about so much that with Care, and now his proposed Cap and Trade,supposedly Green energy solutions that he will whine about tonight, will have cost America, our own domestic resources.

    Alexa Rae Narconon Specialist

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