Facebook: Where Souls Go To Die

On KidCryingThe First Church of Mutterhals:

I recently saw graffiti written on a train that said “80% of the internet is pornography.” While I don’t normally give much credence to random statistics scrawled on the sides of fast moving freight trains, I have to say this one struck me as fairly accurate. I would even go as far as characterizing the remaining 20% as being comprised of cat pictures, celebrity gossip and social networking sites appealing to the emotional retard in all of us.

Yeah, I said it. Retard.

Facebook is a place for puerile rumor mongering and passive-aggressive pronouncements made from the safety of your profile page. For all the talk about connecting to people around the world, social utilities really only serve to foster the increasing sense of isolation and narcissism already rampant among humanity.

Am I the only person who thinks every update is a provocation aimed directly at me? And isn’t it uncomfortable when two people have an argument wall-to-wall? It’s like watching a couple have a vigorous spat in public, while you remain en guard for the unfortunate moment when violence is initiated and you will be forced to step in.

Except on Facebook there is no threat of physical violence, just the utterance of some brutal truth that will make the assailed hang their head in shame for the next few days, until the slight is pushed off the front page by a lot of other pointless bullshit.

Read More: The First Church of Mutterhals

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  • http://twitter.com/sedufia melissa lirette

    Social medias although reeking of narcissism, evolved out of necessity. Having our fetishes appeased, we are less likely to have a bloodsport lifestyle.

  • girl.machine

    I had to abandon all social networking sites, because they really perpetuated my overly-obsessive tendencies. I'm already crazy enough. Don't need anymore anymore fuel for that fire.

  • lettuceprey

    I have experienced none of what the poster is talking about here. I have had nothing but positive experiences on Facebook. Social networking sites are what you make of them, as is true for most of life in general. I am saddened to hear that FB has turned into the ghetto, for some, that Myspace had become & was intended to alleviate. Facebook has controls that can 'silence' posts by those one finds annoying or to be suffering from logorrhea. Regarding Melissa Lirette's comment which addresses the potential for narcissism in social media, of course there is the potential, but not all sites are created equal. Facebook is an amazing tool that can and is widely & successfully used to connect (and especially) reconnect with those we have become out of touch with for whatever reason. Twitter, oth, exists solely for ego gratification & speaks to a neurotic perversion of the social instinct of humanity. For this reason, I choose to pretend that Twitter does not exist.

    I applaud girl.machine for recognizing her personal limitations and taking appropriate action to remedy her situation in such a disciplined manner.

    • girl.machine

      Hey, thanks! I was actually not very disciplined about it. It took a couple years. But, I have to agree with you that social networking sites definitely have positive aspects. In my years on MySpace, I was able to reconnect with people at a time when I really needed to. Additionally, I met some really interesting people I never would have known otherwise. In fact, I probably wouldn't even be here right now if I hadn't been a participant, as that is where I discovered Out There Radio!

  • margatefam

    if you thought you might gain some hipster points by using the word retard twice you were misinformed.

    • mutterhals

      Oh noes! There goes my 'hipster points'. And to think, I was saving up to buy that three wolf t-shirt I'd been eyeing. Thanks for your brilliant contribution.

  • Dreamon

    w000000t, you're totally right, yo!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Catarina-Rios/100000585104346 Catarina Rios

    whatever or not

  • Anonymous

    You have stated perfectly all the reasons why I do not have a facebook page.

  • rfw888

    You have stated perfectly all the reasons why I do not have a facebook page.

  • Ketakaty

    I check my Facebook every day! I love reading and taking part in arguments and debates with people I otherwise might not have any contact with at all. Come on people get over it! Nothing worse than Facebook Fear! My privacy! My knickers!

  • Ketakaty

    I check my Facebook every day! I love reading and taking part in arguments and debates with people I otherwise might not have any contact with at all. Come on people get over it! Nothing worse than Facebook Fear! My privacy! My knickers!