Goldman Sachs Staff Buying Guns ‘To Defend Themselves Against Public Uprising’

canstock0120312Via Bloomberg:

“I just wrote my first reference for a gun permit,” said a friend, who told me of swearing to the good character of a Goldman Sachs Group Inc. banker who applied to the local police for a permit to buy a pistol. The banker had told this friend of mine that senior Goldman people have loaded up on firearms and are now equipped to defend themselves if there is a populist uprising against the bank.

I called Goldman Sachs spokesman Lucas van Praag to ask whether it’s true that Goldman partners feel they need handguns to protect themselves from the angry proletariat. He didn’t call me back. The New York Police Department has told me that “as a preliminary matter” it believes some of the bankers I inquired about do have pistol permits. The NYPD also said it will be a while before it can name names.

While we wait, Goldman has wrapped itself in the flag of Warren Buffett, with whom it will jointly donate $500 million, part of an effort to burnish its image — and gain new Goldman clients. Goldman Sachs Chief Executive Officer Lloyd Blankfein also reversed himself after having previously called Goldman’s greed “God’s work” and apologized earlier this month for having participated in things that were “clearly wrong.”

Has it really come to this? Imagine what emotions must be billowing through the halls of Goldman Sachs to provoke the firm into an apology. Talk that Goldman bankers might have armed themselves in self-defense would sound ludicrous, were it not so apt a metaphor for the way that the most successful people on Wall Street have become a target for public rage.

Read More: Bloomberg

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  • Word Eater

    Ask yourself, “What do they know about the zombie apocalypse that we don't?”

    Wake up, people!

  • observer

    Ha ha ha ha, those assholes can’t shoot! God this is going to be good, WTF do these sissies think they are going to do? Advice to bankers: Do not kid yourselves, you are not tough and will not kick anyone’s ass. You guys got your asses kicked in school for lunch money, just pay someone to protect you and leave your pride at the door. It will be a lot easier than punking out when someone confronts your ass, and less damaging to your man/womanhood.

  • observer

    Ha ha ha ha, those assholes can't shoot! God this is going to be good, WTF do these sissies think they are going to do? Advice to bankers: Do not kid yourselves, you are not tough and will not kick anyone's ass. You guys got your asses kicked in school for lunch money, just pay someone to protect you and leave your pride at the door. It will be a lot easier than punking out when someone confronts your ass, and less damaging to your man/womanhood.

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