I Breastfeed My Dog

Via Pick Me Up Magazine:

How do you stop your dog from barking? Breastfeed her, of course. It worked for Suzanne Morgan, 32, anyway.

It was sod’s law. I’d just got my daughter, Tasha, off to sleep, now, my dog, Dixie, was barking like mad to be fed. I opened the kitchen cupboard, only to see there wasn’t a single tin of dog food left. I felt like crying. Worst of all, I knew Dixie wouldn’t shut up until she’d filled her stomach.

‘We must have something,’ I said, as I peered inside the fridge.

Then I spotted the bottles of breast milk I’d expressed earlier that day.

Admittedly, Tasha, 17 months, was quite old to still be breastfeeding, but I loved the bond it gave us, so I’d decided to carry on. It was free, too, which was good, because since I’d split up with her dad, Ted Collins, 35, when she was 3 months old, money was tight.

I’d always produced more milk than Tasha could drink, so I’d got into the habit of keeping some in the fridge for when I left her with a babysitter.

Read More: Pick Me Up Magazine

10 Comments on "I Breastfeed My Dog"

  1. iphlogiston | Jan 16, 2010 at 9:37 pm |

    I guess it takes one fucgly bitch to feed another.

    The truly distressing part is that this whore is continuing to breed. Please stop. The world is already too full of arse-faced hornballs without brains as it is.

  2. girlmachine | Jan 16, 2010 at 9:53 pm |

    I like how she has put the full names and ages of the men she is breeding with on the internet. THAT, my friends, is why you should never have sex with crazy people.

    • tonyviner | Jan 17, 2010 at 1:55 am |

      You should always have sex with crazy people. This one chick I was with, after she turned out to be a post-op dude, she had this weird thing with dead rabid birds. She would usually wear them on her head while we made love, luckily she never let them anywhere near our nether regions. Her name was Barbara Bush Jr. if anyone is interested in looking her up.

  3. mrtwilight23 | Jan 16, 2010 at 10:14 pm |

    How is this any weirder than humans drinking cow milk?

    • sartorius | Jan 16, 2010 at 10:41 pm |

      Most people don't directly suckle a cow's teat.

      • quantumrequiem | Jan 17, 2010 at 12:31 am |

        As the article indicated, sartorius, she didn't pop her boob into the dog's mouth to deliver the milk – it had already been extracted. I have to agree with mrtwilight23.

  4. Anonymous | Jan 17, 2010 at 9:31 pm |

    I don’t remember what human milk tastes like anymore. If dogs could talk….

  5. GoodDoktorBad | Jan 17, 2010 at 4:31 pm |

    I don't remember what human milk tastes like anymore. If dogs could talk….

Comments are closed.