How To Annoy Glenn Beck In Five Minutes Or Less

Glenn Beck at CPAC 2010. Photo: Gage Skidmore CC

Glenn Beck at CPAC 2010. Photo: Gage Skidmore CC

Thank you Karl Frisch – who doesn’t want to annoy Glenn Beck without actually devoting too much time to doing so? He writes in Media Matters:

Want to annoy Fox News’ Glenn Beck in five minutes or less while simultaneously making sure your community gets its fair share of federal money? Fill out and return the 2010 U.S. Census questionnaire when it arrives in your mailbox.

Few other issues seem to whip media conservatives into a frenzy of misinformation and half-baked conspiracy theories like the decennial count of Americans.

You see, for the world of “conservative journalism,” the census is a manifestation of everything they fear. Put yourself in their shoes: Obama’s administration is hell-bent on imposing a socialist-fascist-communist-totalitarian-Marxist police state, and now he’s sending us all mail! Even worse, Obama’s thugs may show up at your door to get a more accurate count.

Why wait for the third installment of the Twilight franchise when you’ve got these scary bloodsuckers wanting to … gulp … count you?

To hear Beck tell it, the Census is just part of the “modern day slave state.” Hardly surprising for a man who has called President Obama a “racist” with a “deep-seated hatred for white people” and claimed Obama’s policies in general are driven by little more than “reparations” and a desire to “settle old racial scores.”

For government-haters like Beck, attacks such as these are as calculated as they are mean-spirited. Why would he want his audience to think highly of the once-a-decade count if it has a direct result in determining just how federal money for schools, hospitals, job training centers, senior centers, emergency services and a host of public works projects are allocated? He doesn’t believe the federal
government should be involved in these programs in the first place…

[continues in Media Matters]

, ,

  • tonyviner

    I have a deep-seated hatred for the white man. I am white, though. White people ruin everything that is ruin-able.

    • rageplug

      I'm sorry to hear that you feel that way. You must have an unhappy life. Even though you are white (as I am) you are not responsible for the actions of every other white person.

      I have made plenty of mistakes in life (though I hope I haven't ruined anything) , but I don't think that my mistakes are due to the race I was born to. I would hazard to say that ruining things is within the scope of anyone, regardless of race.

      • tonyviner

        You know, I am generally a pretty happy person, I don't know why my life seems unhappy to you, I just think that most of the evils that have occurred on this planet (and others?) can be in some way attributed to the white man and his imperialist agenda. More and more and more. Make more, take more, create more, destroy more, oppress more, control more. It is all ours, everything you see belongs to the white man, whether you know it or not. That money in your pocket? White Man's. Those trees in the forest? White Man's. The oceans and sky that we pollute on a daily basis, because it has to be done, or else we might not meet our quarterly projections? White Man's.

        Despite all of this, I wake up everyday with a smile on my face because I know, I KNOW, that we are now one day closer to the awakening of the people on this planet to the destructive, exploitative and downright disgusting nature of the white man. And though I may be taken with the flood, I will rest peacefully knowing that this scourge has finally been removed from our once beautiful planet, hopefully allowing it to prosper and thrive like we all know it should. Mankind at peace with itself, living in harmony and solidarity and with one another until the day the Sun dies.

        • Hadrian999

          will never happen, conflict is in our blood,
          every leap in technology, new discovery, medical miracle all are discovered in the persuit of new ways to slaughter each other

  • jeffhalmos

    I don't ascribe to any parties but the ones on my birthday, but I didn't know that hating the government, especially one that is a growing industry and makes more money per employee that those in the private sector, was a bad thing.

    • Hadrian999

      it's just funny that when the rght wingers were increasing government size and spending like lunatics he was all for it, now suddenly he's anti government and pro constitution

  • Hadrian999

    it's just funny that when the rght wingers were increasing government size and spending like lunatics he was all for it, now suddenly he's anti government and pro constitution

  • 5by5

    Alex Jones was on Coast to Coast with George Snoory blithering about the census the other night too. He claimed that the census asked you what your income was, where you got it from, how much your mortgage was and how much you needed to pay on it still — a whole litany of questions.

    So I was honestly curious to see what actually WAS in the census, to see whether he was spouting off on something real, or pulling all that out of his bum.

    Yeah. It was the latter. Basically all it asks you is what you'd expect – how many people live in your household. ie. counting people stuff, just as the U.S. Constitution mandates. Big yawn. Just fill out the stupid thing and move on with your life already…..

  • tonyviner

    Glenn Beck and all of these silly right-wingers are just mad that Obama cannot clear as much brush as George Bush.

  • http://www.ContraControl.com/ Zenc

    Spending even 5 minutes in an attempt to annoy Glenn Beck is 5 minutes of life wasted.

    • Polymorpheous

      i'm glad i got the short form.

  • toot

    Yeah right. Comply to piss Beck off. Then wait till the next government witch hunt:

    http://epic.org/privacy/census/foia/

    The guy is nuts, not wrong.

    • http://www.ContraControl.com/ Zenc

      Well, as long as DHS doesn't get a wild hare up their ass about Eskimo Lesbian Midgets who only speak Swahili, I don't think I need to worry about my Census Data being used against me.

      However, there is always the risk that they'll start putting local traffic signs in Swahili, based on my Census data. That'd be kinda inconvenient…

  • Cedo

    This article is biased.

  • Cedo

    This article is biased.

  • Nw15062

    Wow just when you think you knew who the Antichrist was someone stupider and more volatile comes along and shows you there are no depths to which ignorance can sink to.

21