Pepsi Scientists Solve Obesity Crisis With Potato Chips

Lay's Potato ChipsNow here’s corporate thinking to believe in, gotta please those shareholders. As the author of the article says, eating fewer chips potato chips is not an option. Hamilton Nolan writes on Gawker:

Health food manufacturer and exponentially dimensionalized fulcrum of universal gravity PepsiCo is investing hundreds of millions of dollars in an effort to make America healthier, with things like “designer” salt crystals for Lay’s potato chips. What else could they do?

Because of inherent concern about the health of you, the consumer, PepsiCo spent more than $400 million in product development costs last year, all with an eye towards developing products that will kill Americans more slowly. “What we want to do with our ‘fun for you’ products is to make them the healthiest ‘fun for you’ products,” said PepsiCo chairman Indra Nooyi, emphasizing PepsiCo’s dual commitment to health and to providing a nonstop party in your mouth.

The latest corporate success: “working with scientists at about a dozen academic institutions and companies in Europe and the U.S,” PepsiCo successfully altered the molecular structure of salt crystals into a shape that dissolves more efficiently on the tongue of you, the salt-licking Lay’s potato chip fiend. In this way PepsiCo is forcing you to eat less salt, live longer, and be around for many more years of enjoying family and Lay’s potato chips.

Eating fewer potato chips is not considered a realistic option.

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  • http://www.myspace.com/caramelcorpse Schweí K. Übersteigen

    If Pepsi is investing an effort to make America healthier, Maybe just tell America to stop consuming Pepsi products…. Fucking idiots .

  • Polymorpheous

    remember the WOW chips and the “anal leakage” problem?

  • tonyviner

    I think it is funny how every time a new way to lose weight comes about and it does not involve exercising and eating less/healthier.

  • E.B. Wolf

    They must be descendants of the scientists who solved the problem of morphine addiction with heroin.

  • Anon

    There is almost no evidence to suggest that high sodium levels CAUSE disease. It does exacerbate already existing disease, however. f Lays really wants to improve health, they need to work on ‘designer lipids’ to create a fat substitute to fry their crap in. Or America could just, you know, stop being such lazy fat asses and walk a little further than the fridge every once in a while.

  • Anon

    There is almost no evidence to suggest that high sodium levels CAUSE disease. It does exacerbate already existing disease, however. f Lays really wants to improve health, they need to work on 'designer lipids' to create a fat substitute to fry their crap in. Or America could just, you know, stop being such lazy fat asses and walk a little further than the fridge every once in a while.

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More in Capitalism, Chemicals, Corporation Watch, Fast Food, Health Care, Killer At Large, Obesity, Pepsi, Potato Chips, Processed Food
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