As a lawsuit threat letter from Marlboro proves, something like these cig joints were around for a while — until Marlboro got pissed.
There have been stoner rumors for years about how Marlboro has “Marlboro Greens” already patented and tested for the day the green dope is finally legal, and since it’ll be on the California ballot in a scant half-year, it looks like that day is close since every one and their mother (and in many cases, their grandmother) smokes and advocates marijuana usage.
But I don’t get it. I don’t understand why everyone’s so stoked on it. Look past the whole “it’s about time the government gets with the times” or the “it was never legalized because they couldn’t figure out how to economize it but now we need it to combat the budget deficit” shit, let’s look at it like any other crop (i.e. tobacco) or any other substance (i.e. alcohol) or other food (i.e. beef) law.
Let’s think about it with a few questions I’d like to raise:
- Do we as a general public really have any issues with it’s legality right now? Let’s face it, it’s not simply illegal: it’s decriminalized. Meaning get caught with over an ounce and then you’re fucked with something more than a fine that would be like you picking up three sacs from the dude across the 7–11. An ounce is a lot of dope, a lot more than the average consumer smokes — and even then, to the average consumer that does purchase in that high a quantity, how often are they leaving their house with ALL OF IT (aside to deal it). We still smoke our jays in our houses and backyards and balconies, free of heavy worry for adults, and even for kids they know that they’ll be gone by the time the smell is, by the time the cop could possibly catch a whiff of it. At this point a good percentage of cops — I have no evidence for this — are cool with it and won’t even bother if you’re caught with a dub sack. Think about it. No one who wants to smoke marijuana is scared because it’s illegal.
- Just because it’s legal doesn’t mean it’s free of restrictions. Like tobacco and being 18 to smoke outside only, or like alcohol and being 21 to only drink indoors, or like being in Amsterdam and being unaware of the laws behind the legal dope: technically it’s still against the law to smoke it outside in public, outside of the coffeeshop establishments. The simple case-in-point being that in continental Europe no one generally gives a shit as long as you’re not blowing it in kid’s faces and talking shit to everyone. Plus you still can only buy 5 grams per coffeeshop. Relate it to the ten-foot-pole-up-the-ass United States: you won’t be able to smoke in public, you’ll have to be twenty-one, insert something else here. Think about it.
- Tobacco’s legal too. But can you buy pure tobacco anywhere? Of course not, because it’s full of preservatives/chemicals/god-knows-what in whatever form you buy it. Cigarettes, pipe, rolling tobacco … It all has some kind of shit in it, even if it claims organic there’s still some type of regulation on the farming of the crop or the seed the farmer uses … So let’s hypothetically place marijuana in the same category: we may be able to grow x amount of plants in our own backyard and not fret, but where will the seed have to come from? Or where will it come from the easiest? Think about it.
- Marijuana cigarettes. Literally. Like that image above, fucking Marlboro greens. Why the fuck wouldn’t this happen — we’d rather smoke a fag than roll one, why would we want to keep rolling our own fat jays if they came pre-rolled? And Big Tobacco companies, as they put it, are one of the biggest in the nation/world … Gods know how much herb would actually be inside one of these cigarettes, and the government wouldn’t require them to tell us either — just like with tobacco. We buy a pack of greens for $10 (taxed for another $3) then smoke one every hour to get our small dosage of THC and nico-chemicals … Then somehow crave a real cigarette. Think about it.
- Bye bye dealers. Sure, maybe for a few years there would still remain the same dealers we all knew, but with new restrictions being placed on the cultivation and marketing of marijuana (for economic/monopoly reasons, as we’ve been saying for forty years against its illegality), without the proper papers based on its growing or proper license to sell, dealers would still remain just as underground as before — with their prices going up just like in the now-legalized cannabis clubs. They’ll have to work harder to produce and maintain their crop as well as their sales, how could any price just remain steady? Everything will change. Think about it.
I’ll continue to this list as I get more time, but it seems so clear that this isn’t just to make us happy–they would’ve done that twenty years ago if that were the case. False consciousness, people. Look it up.
My opinion is VOTE NO to this proposition on the ballot in November. It’ll just contribute to making rich companies richer, infecting our bodies further with even more chemicals (through something we all trusted and loved and let our lives change for so long), pleasing the working class by making us all think we “achieved” a victory with democracy, disillusioning us even further. It’ll destroy any hope we have left of our flailing generation to make a change, and completely obliterate our children’s generation.
If you read this and have a discrepancy, or valid research to disprove what I’m trying to say somewhere here, PLEASE don’t hesitate to tell me.
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