Diary Of A Wimpy Vampire

Wimpy VampireA mashup too far? This blog is soon to be an actual book. Sample content:

Basically, I got the worst deal ever when I became a vampire. Every other vampire in history developed a supernatural level of attractiveness when they transformed. But not me. When I look in the mirror*, I just see a pasty, tired, fifteen-going-on-100-year-old looking back at me.

I sat next to Chloe today in Art and I could smell that she had type O- blood, which is rare but especially tasty (my dad calls it the champagne of blood). I told her about the goths, the tough gang and the popular gang, and she said she wouldn’t want to be in the popular gang anyway. She is a girl after my own heart. I told her about the rumour that Mr Byrne was a millionaire before he lost all his money and had to become an English teacher, and about how Darren from our class came in on No Uniform Day wearing his PE kit because he’s so poor that these are the only clothes he owns. She didn’t laugh at this and said she felt sorry for him, and I agreed to make myself look caring and sensitive.

You get the idea…

, ,

  • Anonymous

    Fake! Everyone knows that vampires cast no reflection!

  • dreamping

    Unless of course your a mutant vampire. Disgusting!

  • dreamping

    Fake! Everyone knows that vampires cast no reflection!

  • dreamping

    Unless of course your a mutant vampire. Disgusting!

  • dreamping

    Fake! Everyone knows that vampires cast no reflection!