Exhausted Noam Chomsky Just Going To Try And Enjoy The Day For Once

Photo: Stevertigo (CC)

Photo: Stevertigo (CC)

From the Onion. Yeah, that Onion, so progressives please try to remember where you left your sense of humor:

LEXINGTON, MA — Describing himself as “terribly exhausted,” famed linguist and political dissident Noam Chomsky said Monday that he was taking a break from combating the hegemony of the American imperialist machine to try and take it easy for once.

“I just want to lie in a hammock and have a nice relaxing morning,” said the outspoken anarcho-syndicalist academic, who first came to public attention with his breakthrough 1957 book Syntactic Structures. “The systems of control designed to manufacture consent among a largely ignorant public will still be there for me to worry about tomorrow. Today, I’m just going to kick back and enjoy some much-needed Noam Time.”

“No fighting against institutional racism, no exposing the legacies of colonialist ideologies still persistent today, no standing up to the widespread dissemination of misinformation and state-sanctioned propaganda,” Chomsky added. “Just a nice, cool breeze through an open window on a warm spring day.”

Sources reported that the 81-year-old Chomsky, a vociferous, longtime critic of U.S. foreign policy and the political economy of the mass media, was planning to use Monday to tidy up around the house a bit, take a leisurely walk in the park, and possibly attend an afternoon showing of Date Night at the local megaplex.

Sitting down to a nice oatmeal breakfast, Chomsky picked up a copy of Time, a deceitful, pro-corporate publication that he said would normally infuriate him.

[continues at the Onion]

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  • tonyviner

    It is about time for the guy to take a break. As much as I enjoy and appreciate his work and everything that he has contributed, he needs to just sit down and have a glass of fucking tea.

  • justagirl

    it sounds like his relaxing day was full of the things he hates. he should have taken voltaire's advice and went to work in the garden instead of following his own agenda.

  • Anon

    I didn't notice until I saw the link it was The Onion. Good one :P

  • Andrew

    First Limbaugh admits he wants to die, now this. Life's hard all over the one-dimensional political spectrum.

    • tonyviner

      Your mom went to college.

      • Andrew

        Please don't tell Pol Pot.

        • tonyviner

          Pol Pot's dead, silly.

          • Andrew

            I'm not talking about that Pol Pot. Obviously.

    • tonyviner

      The fact that you basically put Rush Limbaugh and Noam Chomsky in the same category is beyond ridiculous. One-dimensional? Open your eyes. Maybe even listen to the man speak, that sounds like a good idea.

      • Andrew

        Try reading what I wrote slowly. I didn't put them in the same category. You might want to think about how many dimensions a spectrum has.

        You might also want to consider the source of this article, and, in the light of that, how serious my comment was.

        • tonyviner

          Apology accepted. I forgive you.

          • Andrew

            Nice face-saving non sequitur. Good job.

  • 5by5

    “So progressives please try to remember where you left your sense of humor”

    LOL, yeah, because the Left has no humorists like Molly Ivins, Bill Maher, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Chris Rock, Kathy Griffin, DL Hughley, Lewis Black, Patton Oswalt, Greg Proops, Garry Trudeau, Will Durst, Marc Maron, Margaret Cho, Calvin Trillin, Berke Breathed, Jim Hightower….. etc., etc., etc…..

    And the right's got… Dennis Miller and that “get 'er done” dimwit. Nice.

    • http://disinfo.com Majestic

      Yeah, I know, but too often people read posts from the Onion and don't notice the source, or realize that it's satirical and get all bent out of shape, so I thought I'd warn 'em this time!

      • 5by5

        I know Majestic, but I couldn't resist.

        It's a common nonsensical rant on the Wrongwing about the Left having no sense of humor – they're projecting as per usual, as the partial list demonstrates – but just for the hell of it, I thought I'd make that doubly clear.

        Actually my most favorite recent Onion story was “America Paralyzed By Uninterrupted Block of Text”. HILARIOUS.

        • http://disinfo.com Majestic

          No problem, we're on the same page. Tony Viner posted the Onion story but I added that intro because of the anticipated problem I described above (clarifying lest anyone blame Tony).

    • Word Eater

      The right also has Victoria Jackson.

      • 5by5

        Oh how could I forget!! :-)

      • tonyviner

        Victoria Jackson's funny?

  • CC

    Chomsky's a holocaust denier.

    http://www.mekong.net/cambodia/chomsky.htm

    • dave

      No he f*****g isn't. First off, he's Jewish, and second, what he actually did was to defend the right of free speech of someone who was being criticised for his opinions. Not the same thing at all. Chomsky has spoken about this inaccurate criticism on many occasions – Google it if you can be bothered.

  • Andrew

    I’m not talking about that Pol Pot. Obviously.