Via the First Church of Mutterhals:
Are you tired of being out-weirded by your friends and loved ones? Run out of room in your closet for three wolf t-shirts and multi-colored skinny jeans? Can’t listen to one more track of MGMT without blowing your brains out? Then let me help you be the fucking freak you always knew you could be.
Hi, I’m mutterhals, ordained minister, amateur doctor and all around professional, so obviously I know what I’m talking about. It’s cool to be eccentric these days, although not everyone can pull it off. Hey, it’s not your fault you had a relatively normal upbringing, with no history of mental illness in your family. That’s why I’m here. With my award-winning program, you too can affect a demeanor of effortless cool and devise a cutting edge persona that will get you lauded at the next vegan/anarchist picnic and beyond.
Everyone knows that the key to being cool is discovering things before anyone else does. But what are you to do if you are always the last to know about a band or movie or art movement? Just make some shit up, like so…
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