Scientists To Map Ozzy Osbourne’s Genetic Code To Find Out Why He is Still Alive

Ozzy Osbourne

Silly scientists, Ozzy’s still alive because he’s a werewolf. We’ve known this since the ’80s. Elizabeth Scott writes on Sky News:

Scientists are to map Ozzy Osbourne’s genetic code in a bid to find out how he is still alive after decades of drug and alcohol abuse.

The former Black Sabbath frontman is only one of a few people in the world to have his full genome analysed. It is hoped the results from the £27,000 test, which takes three months, will provide information on how drugs are absorbed in the body.

Ozzy, 61, has lived a life that would presumably kill any ordinary person. Even the singer himself cannot understand how he has survived this long, recently describing himself as a “medical miracle” after going on a “bender” for “40 years.”

Photo: Kevin Burkett (CC)

Read More: Sky News

11 Comments on "Scientists To Map Ozzy Osbourne’s Genetic Code To Find Out Why He is Still Alive"

  1. tonyviner | Jun 17, 2010 at 12:23 am |

    They'll need to do Keith Richards too, that way they can compare the two and we can finally get down to it, curing cancer and whatnot. I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for repetitive radio garbage to be cured though.

    • i remember hearing that Keef used to get fresh blood transfusions every year, in order to beat the reaper

      • Shit dude, are you serious? I've heard of the rolling stones were into some satanic shit… just like almost every other famous pop star

        • Frankensteinmoneymac | Jun 19, 2010 at 5:42 pm |

          Dude, the idea that every famous rock n roll or pop star has made a deal with the Devil in order to reach the level that they are at, is a complete and utter misconception! Its only the really AWSOME bands like Ozzy, Zep, or the original that started the trend: Bluesman, Robert Johnson that actually made deals with the Devil!!!!! The Devil has a sense of taste, and knows talent when he sees it my friend!!!

  2. GoodDoktorBad | Jun 17, 2010 at 11:40 am |

    The world needs crazy train riders -young and old. “They” gave Ozzy more life energy to start with, figuring he would need it…..the constitution of a sewer rat to ward off all poisons…while enjoying them immensely!!

    Go Ozzie……..

  3. In a word: SATAN !

  4. Rock & Roll kept him alive. Healing power of music, baby. Healing power of music.

    And Sharon. She helped.

    A lot.

  5. Are you F&*!King kidding me! it's his family and love of Heavy Matel!

  6. Frankensteinmoneymac | Jun 19, 2010 at 10:42 pm |

    Dude, the idea that every famous rock n roll or pop star has made a deal with the Devil in order to reach the level that they are at, is a complete and utter misconception! Its only the really AWSOME bands like Ozzy, Zep, or the original that started the trend: Bluesman, Robert Johnson that actually made deals with the Devil!!!!! The Devil has a sense of taste, and knows talent when he sees it my friend!!!

  7. keith richards is the one to study

  8. keith richards is the one to study

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