United Against The Threat of Cartoons

Jesus as portrayed in 'South Park' (courtesy Comedy Central)

Jesus as portrayed in 'South Park' (courtesy Comedy Central)

Apparently endeavoring to prove that some Christians can be just as stupid and petty as some Muslims, we have geniuses like the Catholic League’s William “13-year olds are not children” Donohue, closeted Family Research Council celebrity Tony “Look How Perfect My Hair Is” Perkins, and conservobot talk show weenie Michael “I’m A Self-Hating Jew” Medved teaming up like a twisted version of the Super Friends to save Jesus from the threat of vile cartooning:

From Reuters/Yahoo News:

Comedy Central’s “JC” is in development, which means it’s still a couple of steps from getting the green light as a series. The project is about Jesus trying to live as a regular guy in New York City and wanting to escape the shadow of his “powerful but apathetic father.” Because Comedy Central recently censored “South Park” for its portrayals of the Prophet Muhammad, some Christian leaders see the prospect of a Jesus cartoon as proof of an offensive double standard.

Apparently, Ja-HEE-sus is strong enough to fight off both Satan and Death itself, but his achilles heel is the aggressive use of pen and ink. And COLOR! Don’t forget color! People laugh at bright colors!!

Jesus can’t withstand a JOKE??? Really?

I mean, I knew the pen was mightier than the sword, but really, who knew that toons were that POWERFUL????

May I now announce…

“FEAR ME, SILLY HUMANS!!!!! FOR I AM A GRAPHIC ARTIST!!!!!

I AM THE WAY, THE TRUTH, AND THE SILLY! NO MAN COMETH UNTO THE PANTONE, EXCEPT BY ME!! MOOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

[cough] Sorry, the rush of power got away from me there for a minute…

Pfft. Seriously, these guys need a new hobby. Or more accurately, to get laid. Problem is, I don’t know of a woman OR a man who’d take that bullet for the team….

Gosh, at some point, I’d sure love to see the level of our national discourse raised above this sort of rank idiocy. With all due respect gentlemen, we’ve got bigger problems. Can we please FOCUS?

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  • Ben7209

    Takes two sides to make “national discourse”. Perhaps with all the “bigger problems” out there, focusing on THEM might be a good idea.

    Look, extremists are…well…EXTREME. Here's how it goes:

    Popular cartoon show satirizes organized religion.
    Extremist members of said organized religion get pissed.
    Public idiological warfare erupts.
    Ratings go up.

    Repeat as necessary.

    While I may not agree with the extremist viewpoint, and while I do believe that any organization that shackles its members with dehumanizing dogma purely because “that's the way it is” needs to be dismantled or, at the very least, seriously retooled, it seems that throwing ridicule onto the fire only feeds it.

  • Synapse

    It IS an offensive double standard, but that doesn't mean we SHOULD censor JC, it means we SHOULD run images of Mohammed and not let these bigots terrorize our freedom of speech.

  • Word Eater

    Christians use this as an example to teach your children what the bible says about Jesus and contrast it with the popular portrayals of him.
    In addition to debunking South Park's Jesus, you could also point out that Jesus would probably ask you to give away all of your money and leave your family in order to spread the word about him and would be pretty pissed off if you profited off of his message. Also, he liked to hang around with the rejects of society, so you can't complain about your kid's loser friends.

  • Youspammingbastards

    Maybe the christians ought to try killing a few thousand people first to make their threat more legitimate.

  • Youspammingbastards

    Maybe the christians ought to try killing a few thousand people first to make their threat more legitimate.

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