Anti-Masturbation Candidate Christine O’Donnell Wins Republican Senate Primary in Delaware

ChristineODonnellOh man, Joe Biden must be loving that anti-masturbation/Tea Party-backed candidate Christine O’Donnell is up for his old Senate seat:

My name is Christine O’Donnell. I am the President and Founder of The S.A.L.T. The S.A.L.T. stands for “The Savior’s Alliance For Lifting The Truth.” We choose sexual purity in our lives. We have God-given sexual desires and we need to understand them and preserve them to be used in God’s appropriate context. Our members are committed to be role models, committed to be the salt of the earth … We need to address sexuality with young people and masturbation is part of sexuality but it is important to discuss this from a moral point of view … The Bible says that lust in your heart is committing adultery. So you can’t masturbate without lust.

Holy cow as the Washington Post reports. For more on O’Donnell check out this post from Irin Carmon on Jezebel and the mashup video below:

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  • GoodDoktorBad

    Smell her fingers…….

  • Anonymous

    Smell her fingers…….

  • http://www.xenex.org/ xen

    The whole situation just begs to have Rule 34 invoked, don’t you think?

    • Butter Knife

      When you said that, I immediately turned to Encyclopædia Dramatica to find it. So, naturally, I checked Google image search and, holy crap… STILL NOTHING.

      The internet has failed, I am undone.

      • APR

        That photo screams, “Oh, exploitable.” Almost makes me want to register on E.D. so I can write the article. That actually makes two articles I can think of for that amazing site.

    • anonymous

      i’m putting it on B nao

  • http://www.xenex.org/ xen

    The whole situation just begs to have Rule 34 invoked, don’t you think?

  • TheWrongStuff

    Without having read the article or giving a shit about who she is in general; if she can open her mouth that wide she doesn’t need to masturbate.

    Call me.

  • TheWrongStuff

    Without having read the article or giving a shit about who she is in general; if she can open her mouth that wide she doesn’t need to masturbate.

    Call me.

  • http://deliverators.typepad.com Andrew Dobbs

    I remember her as a regular guest on the old “Politically Incorrect” show with Bill Maher. Delaware doesn’t strike me as much of a Jesus state, but who knows?

    • myth_slayer

      Quite the opposite, Delaware has long been known as the Jackoff State, given its long history of offering low incorporation tax rates so American corporations would file their incorporation there.

      That is, when American-based corporations were still registered in America.

  • http://deliverators.typepad.com Andrew Dobbs

    I remember her as a regular guest on the old “Politically Incorrect” show with Bill Maher. Delaware doesn’t strike me as much of a Jesus state, but who knows?

  • A Bad Joke

    wow. that photo just screams “photoshop me”

    I think we all know what I mean.

  • A Bad Joke

    wow. that photo just screams “photoshop me”

    I think we all know what I mean.

  • BlueJay

    If she’s anti-masturbation, is she pro-prostate-cancer? Or maybe pro-rapist?
    If she loves her buybull so much maybe she should take its advice and shut her mouth and be a slave to her husband (Ephesians 5:22)

    • A Bad Joke

      Exactly. If she was so religious, she’d be barefoot and pregnant like the “good” book says.

      Luckily we seem to be moving past those days. Did you know women are allowed to vote now?!

  • BlueJay

    If she’s anti-masturbation, is she pro-prostate-cancer? Or maybe pro-rapist?
    If she loves her buybull so much maybe she should take its advice and shut her mouth and be a slave to her husband (Ephesians 5:22)

  • A Bad Joke

    Exactly. If she was so religious, she’d be barefoot and pregnant like the “good” book says.

    Luckily we seem to be moving past those days. Did you know women are allowed to vote now?!

  • Rohatsu

    I don’t claim to know anything about her or politics but there is certainly something to be said about abstaining from lust. Lust gets the better of us and can become addictive. We become slaves to our lust.
    Sure, I Am Desire- But I can also control my desire for the refinement of spiritual practice.
    Every major spiritual tradition in the world that I’m aware of has some form of teaching on disengagement from sexual misconduct encompassed within.
    I know it’s not about popular thing to bring up nowadays but just letting you know.

  • Rohatsu

    I don’t claim to know anything about her or politics but there is certainly something to be said about abstaining from lust. Lust gets the better of us and can become addictive. We become slaves to our lust.
    Sure, I Am Desire- But I can also control my desire for the refinement of spiritual practice.
    Every major spiritual tradition in the world that I’m aware of has some form of teaching on disengagement from sexual misconduct encompassed within.
    I know it’s not about popular thing to bring up nowadays but just letting you know.

  • gemmarama

    i’m not generally one for casual misogyny, but in this particular case, sounds like the bitch could do with a good seeing-to….

  • gemmarama

    i’m not generally one for casual misogyny, but in this particular case, sounds like the bitch could do with a good seeing-to….

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=522611076 Koen De Groote

    How long till the first article appears, providing evidence that one of the people in her party is a sexual deviant? And of course, won’t get kicked out because he/she “repented”…

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=522611076 Koen De Groote

    How long till the first article appears, providing evidence that one of the people in her party is a sexual deviant? And of course, won’t get kicked out because he/she “repented”…

  • Struanr

    I just cranked one out over that picture of her… ha ha take THAT beeeatch!

    • APR

      Look up the E.D. Article: “Face Painter.” Hilarious. I must be a sick f**k.

  • Struanr

    I just cranked one out over that picture of her… ha ha take THAT beeeatch!

  • Haystack

    The “Tea Party” & co are busy weeding all the moderates out of Congress, insuring that nothing will ever get done because there won’t be anyone left who is able to compromise.

  • Haystack

    The “Tea Party” & co are busy weeding all the moderates out of Congress, insuring that nothing will ever get done because there won’t be anyone left who is able to compromise.

  • Butter Knife

    When you said that, I immediately turned to Encyclopædia Dramatica to find it. So, naturally, I checked Google image search and, holy crap… STILL NOTHING.

    The internet has failed, I am undone.

  • Butter Knife

    Weird position for a Tea Partier to take, the entire thing is totally masturbatory.

  • Butter Knife

    Weird position for a Tea Partier to take, the entire thing is totally masturbatory.

  • Anonymous

    Quite the opposite, Delaware has long been known as the Jackoff State, given its long history of offering low incorporation tax rates so American corporations would file their incorporation there.

    That is, when American-based corporations were still registered in America.

  • http://voxmagi-necessarywords.blogspot.com/ VoxMagi

    We can be pretty sure her victory theme won’t be “I Touch Myself” by the Divinyls.

    For over a year now…people tell me that the evil media is perpetuating a myth about the Tea Party being top heavy with freaks, loons, whack jobs and jesus-crispies…

    …now I can just post this link and say “Bullshit, fuck you very much.” the next time I hear that.

  • http://voxmagi-necessarywords.blogspot.com/ VoxMagi

    We can be pretty sure her victory theme won’t be “I Touch Myself” by the Divinyls.

    For over a year now…people tell me that the evil media is perpetuating a myth about the Tea Party being top heavy with freaks, loons, whack jobs and jesus-crispies…

    …now I can just post this link and say “Bullshit, fuck you very much.” the next time I hear that.

  • LickUWild

    This is one hypocrit manwife with ugly teeth and a nasty lust for power.

  • LickUWild

    This is one hypocrit manwife with ugly teeth and a nasty lust for power.

  • anonymous

    i’m putting it on B nao

  • CrankYanker69

    This is among the most ludicrous BS I’ve ever heard! There is and never was anything wrong with masturbation! Small children “masturbate” and it has nothing to do with lust! Look it up! We all found out at a very young age that rubbing your junk feels gooooood! What about monkeys?!?! And does this mean there are no fraking monkeys in heaven? My dog is licking his junk right this moment! Don’t tell me I won’t see my dog when I go to heaven! WtF?!?! Who the hell is she or anyone else to say it’s wrong?? Also, I agree with BlueJay! If she’s anti-masturbation, is she pro-prostate-cancer? Or maybe pro-rapist? Hell, a good friend of mine was told to spank it by his Dr when he had prostate troubles and guess what? Two spanks a week for a month and he was able to sit without pain and pee without trouble! Ask anyone who had prostate issues and they will tell you how shitty it was to deal with! it was either spank it or have the doc stick three fingers up his arse to squeeze his prostate until his wang got erect and squirted green puss all over! Which would you rather? A dude you aren’t even on a first name basis with fingering your poophole or doing something that you would actually enjoy that relieves not only physical discomfort but also mental stress?!?!
    Christine O’Donnell needs to rub one off and get with it or STFU and get off it!!

  • CrankYanker69

    This is among the most ludicrous BS I’ve ever heard! There is and never was anything wrong with masturbation! Small children “masturbate” and it has nothing to do with lust! Look it up! We all found out at a very young age that rubbing your junk feels gooooood! What about monkeys?!?! And does this mean there are no fraking monkeys in heaven? My dog is licking his junk right this moment! Don’t tell me I won’t see my dog when I go to heaven! WtF?!?! Who the hell is she or anyone else to say it’s wrong?? Also, I agree with BlueJay! If she’s anti-masturbation, is she pro-prostate-cancer? Or maybe pro-rapist? Hell, a good friend of mine was told to spank it by his Dr when he had prostate troubles and guess what? Two spanks a week for a month and he was able to sit without pain and pee without trouble! Ask anyone who had prostate issues and they will tell you how shitty it was to deal with! it was either spank it or have the doc stick three fingers up his arse to squeeze his prostate until his wang got erect and squirted green puss all over! Which would you rather? A dude you aren’t even on a first name basis with fingering your poophole or doing something that you would actually enjoy that relieves not only physical discomfort but also mental stress?!?!
    Christine O’Donnell needs to rub one off and get with it or STFU and get off it!!

  • Lucifer_belial

    Masturbation is healthy, well I suppose all the religious want to shrivel up and die quickly to go to heaven, or they should want to at least anyway. And wtf is a retard christ bitch doing in the tea party? What a fucking insult to all us tea drinkers.

  • Lucifer_belial

    Masturbation is healthy, well I suppose all the religious want to shrivel up and die quickly to go to heaven, or they should want to at least anyway. And wtf is a retard christ bitch doing in the tea party? What a fucking insult to all us tea drinkers.

  • APR

    That photo screams, “Oh, exploitable.” Almost makes me want to register on E.D. so I can write the article. That actually makes two articles I can think of for that amazing site.

  • APR

    Look up the E.D. Article: “Face Painter.” Hilarious. I must be a sick f**k.

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