Flirting in the 21st Century, Brett Favre Style

Brett Favre in 2006.

Brett Favre in 2006.

Via the First Church of Mutterhals:

Everyone knows I’m not exactly keen on manners. But in some ways I am downright old fashioned. For instance, if a man I was vaguely acquainted with took a liking to me and decided the best way to win my favor would be to forward a hastily snapped pic of his, oh, how should I put this, his wang; well let’s just say there is a very short list of people who could get away with such a thing without my taking out a restraining order.

You know where I’m going with this. Proving once and for all that he is a congenital retard, Brett Favre did the above to a comely female member of the sporting press, thusly taking a bad idea and making it monumentally worse. I know, I know, allegedly. Brett Favre allegedly stuck his cell phone down his shorts and allegedly snapped the most unspectacular and tepid alleged dong pictures I have ever had the displeasure of seeing. Allegedly.

Men, you if are going to forward a lady a picture of your member, that thing better be downright spectacular. It better be gold plated and capable of rupturing a spleen. Anything less will be ridiculed mercilessly and forwarded to all her friends with the subject line, ‘OMG, lookit at this!’ If you are a celebrity, there is the added bonus that it will be forwarded to everyone’s friends, and if you are a married celebrity, you better rent out some place to have a tearful press conference, because you are going to need it.

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  • Gregory

    The NFL is currently pursuing an honest campaign to sorta kinda do something about concussions, considering that the athletes in this sport are asked to strike each other with their helmets on a consistent basis. One thing you can do is institute some college rules, as in…if you’re down, you’re down…whether it’s down by contact or not. Another nice college rule would be not to pay these jokers, then they might realize harming others and yourselves is counterproductive.

    Another thing would be to examine Brett Favre’s brain as he is right now the walking poster child of football-induced brain damage. Yeah, Brett…those might be real. comfortable. jeans, but so is the inside of your skull because your brain is the consistency of tapioca pudding.

    Unfortunately, this is also true of the management of the New York Jets, who got suckered into giving Favre a job and the Minnesota Vikings who are currently employing him. The guy IS retired because his central nervous system doesn’t work anymore. Put him in a wheelchair and let someone who still has all his marbles strap in.

    • E.B. Wolf

      It has nothing to do with concussions, he’s just from Louisiana.

  • Gregory

    The NFL is currently pursuing an honest campaign to sorta kinda do something about concussions, considering that the athletes in this sport are asked to strike each other with their helmets on a consistent basis. One thing you can do is institute some college rules, as in…if you’re down, you’re down…whether it’s down by contact or not. Another nice college rule would be not to pay these jokers, then they might realize harming others and yourselves is counterproductive.

    Another thing would be to examine Brett Favre’s brain as he is right now the walking poster child of football-induced brain damage. Yeah, Brett…those might be real. comfortable. jeans, but so is the inside of your skull because your brain is the consistency of tapioca pudding.

    Unfortunately, this is also true of the management of the New York Jets, who got suckered into giving Favre a job and the Minnesota Vikings who are currently employing him. The guy IS retired because his central nervous system doesn’t work anymore. Put him in a wheelchair and let someone who still has all his marbles strap in.

  • E.B. Wolf

    It has nothing to do with concussions, he’s just from Louisiana.

  • Ironaddict06

    Yea, if I were in the NFL i would claim brain damage for every stupid thing I might do. The rest of society has an excuse for there screw ups, why should nfl players be different? hehe

  • Ironaddict06

    Yea, if I were in the NFL i would claim brain damage for every stupid thing I might do. The rest of society has an excuse for there screw ups, why should nfl players be different? hehe

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