Will Apple End Sexting As We Know It?

tigerwoods3aIn more sad news for the youth of today, Apple has been awarded a patent for technology that alters text messages to remove objectionable content, i.e., an anti-sexting device. Our friends at TechCrunch report:

Today the US Patent and Trademark Office approved a patent Apple filed in 2008, which, get this, prevents users from sending or receiving “objectionable” text messages. The patent’s official title? “Text-based communication control for personal communication device.”

Ladies and gentlemen this means that Jobs and company have just sealed the deal on a solution to the number one fear of parents across America, kids sending “unauthorized texts.” As it looks like whatever algorithm or control the system is comprised of will basically censor the transmission of R-rated content on iPhones, is this the first sign of the end of “Sexting” as we know it?

Yes and no, as those interesting in “Sexting” will probably find some clever workaround to express how much they want to bang, screw, hit it or a myriad of other words that don’t immediately set off the censorship sensors.

On a positive note, it looks like whatever it is preventing kids from sending salacious texts will also help them learn languages, just not the perverted words.

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  • emperorreagan

    Apple’s new license agreement: You will not be allowed to touch the product we sell you. You will be required to employ an Apple engineer who will follow you around 24/7 and operate your Apple product for you.

  • emperorreagan

    Apple’s new license agreement: You will not be allowed to touch the product we sell you. You will be required to employ an Apple engineer who will follow you around 24/7 and operate your Apple product for you.

  • Hadrian999

    the unbelievable prudishness of jobs will do what shitty design could never do,
    kill off the ICULT

    • GoodDoktorBad

      One could only hope…….

  • Hadrian999

    the unbelievable prudishness of jobs will do what shitty design could never do,
    kill off the ICULT

  • Quantumfish

    Clever workarounds?

    Like the space bar?

    Goddamn techno-crypto-fascists. KILL THE iBUNNIES! KILL ALL OF THEM

  • Quantumfish

    Clever workarounds?

    Like the space bar?

    Goddamn techno-crypto-fascists. KILL THE iBUNNIES! KILL ALL OF THEM

  • GoodDoktorBad

    People will just make up more slang words for sex……

    Control is an illusion…..

    • http://twitter.com/sciamachy Sciamachy

      Yeah, it’ll become like “Kek” in World of Warcraft. “Kek” is how the game translates “LOL” when said by an orc & seen by an Alliance character – the game is set up so that Alliance & Horde characters can’t communicate at all, but with this Apple substitution thing, “Treat you like a happy little elf” will become a euphemism for something *really* perverted. It’ll end up with kids actually texting “Hey, wanna come over to mine & treat me like a happy little elf?”

    • http://twitter.com/sciamachy Sciamachy

      In fact – I want a full dictionary of substituted terms, so I can whack these up on UrbanDictionary.com! KEK!

      • Ironaddict06

        How about this one.
        I want you to snizle my wizzle.

    • Ironaddict06

      Yep

  • Anonymous

    People will just make up more slang words for sex……

    Control is an illusion…..

  • Virgendelasvacas

    I guess I’m the only one that sees this as a good thing.

    It seems to me like the user gets to choose whether they have this software on their phone or not, just like with any other “nanny” software. The difference here is that with the nanny software on your computer, you’re actively choosing to go to those sites (and then getting blocked by your way uncool parents, of course), but there are lots of people out there who receive unwanted sexually explicit harassment via text. Sure, blocking the phone number works sometimes, but I’ve heard of several cases where the harasser will use multiple phones or even text from online sent to cell phones to sexually harass people.

    When seen from this perspective, the image used above seems very appropriate…

  • Virgendelasvacas

    I guess I’m the only one that sees this as a good thing.

    It seems to me like the user gets to choose whether they have this software on their phone or not, just like with any other “nanny” software. The difference here is that with the nanny software on your computer, you’re actively choosing to go to those sites (and then getting blocked by your way uncool parents, of course), but there are lots of people out there who receive unwanted sexually explicit harassment via text. Sure, blocking the phone number works sometimes, but I’ve heard of several cases where the harasser will use multiple phones or even text from online sent to cell phones to sexually harass people.

    When seen from this perspective, the image used above seems very appropriate…

  • Hadrian999

    although now that i think about, if a girl sent me a message about treating me like a happy little elf, it would probably turn me on, but that said people worried about the texts their children send or recieve probably shouldnt buy them cellphones

  • Hadrian999

    although now that i think about, if a girl sent me a message about treating me like a happy little elf, it would probably turn me on, but that said people worried about the texts their children send or recieve probably shouldnt buy them cellphones

  • http://twitter.com/sciamachy Sciamachy

    Yeah, it’ll become like “Kek” in World of Warcraft. “Kek” is how the game translates “LOL” when said by an orc & seen by an Alliance character – the game is set up so that Alliance & Horde characters can’t communicate at all, but with this Apple substitution thing, “Treat you like a happy little elf” will become a euphemism for something *really* perverted. It’ll end up with kids actually texting “Hey, wanna come over to mine & treat me like a happy little elf?”

  • http://twitter.com/sciamachy Sciamachy

    In fact – I want a full dictionary of substituted terms, so I can whack these up on UrbanDictionary.com! KEK!

  • Observing Ego

    Android is starting to look a whole lot cooler!

  • Observing Ego

    Android is starting to look a whole lot cooler!

  • Ironaddict06

    Yep

  • Ironaddict06

    How about this one.
    I want you to snizle my wizzle.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3YL4OBZXFN6QESL2IZCBK7G7EM Skip M
  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3YL4OBZXFN6QESL2IZCBK7G7EM Skip M
  • Hitech Guy

    Is it still considered sexting if the genitals are of another species?

  • Hitech Guy

    Is it still considered sexting if the genitals are of another species?

  • Anonymous

    One could only hope…….

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