Dick Van Dyke Saved From Death By Porpoises

Dick-Van-Dyke-and-a-porpo-005If ever there were an event that could inspire me to believe in a higher power, this is it. The Guardian reports:

On screen, Dick Van Dyke has been rescued from untimely death by flying cars and magical nannies. Off screen, the veteran star had to rely on the help of a pod of porpoises after apparently dozing off aboard his surfboard.

Van Dyke’s ordeal began during an ill-fated trip to his local beach. “I woke up out of sight of land,” the 84-year-old actor told reporters. “I started paddling with the swells and I started seeing fins swimming around me and I thought ‘I’m dead!’”

Van Dyke was wrong. “They turned out to be porpoises,” he said. “And they pushed me all the way to shore.” The porpoises were unavailable for comment.

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12 Responses to Dick Van Dyke Saved From Death By Porpoises

  1. nemoide November 12, 2010 at 3:09 pm #

    So wait, did this happen recently? Or is he remembering the adventures of his youth?

    Pretty awesome, either way.

  2. Anonymous November 12, 2010 at 7:09 pm #

    So wait, did this happen recently? Or is he remembering the adventures of his youth?

    Pretty awesome, either way.

  3. VoxMagi November 12, 2010 at 3:22 pm #

    Sorry Dick…in their culture…those were the bouncers. They didn’t want you in their part of the ocean…they were concerned that, being human, you might suddenly start losing trash in every direction and randomly release oil.

  4. VoxMagi November 12, 2010 at 7:22 pm #

    Sorry Dick…in their culture…those were the bouncers. They didn’t want you in their part of the ocean…they were concerned that, being human, you might suddenly start losing trash in every direction and randomly release oil.

  5. Robob November 12, 2010 at 11:18 pm #

    That is actually a picture of a Mellon Headed Whale and not a porpoise. Someone grabbed the wrong stock photo.

  6. Robob November 13, 2010 at 3:18 am #

    That is actually a picture of a Mellon Headed Whale and not a porpoise. Someone grabbed the wrong stock photo.

  7. Donovan Moore November 13, 2010 at 9:51 am #

    Was it the Dick Van Dyke show or Flipper. Oh well.

  8. Donovan Moore November 13, 2010 at 1:51 pm #

    Was it the Dick Van Dyke show or Flipper. Oh well.

  9. GoodDoktorBad November 13, 2010 at 11:20 am #

    There’s a dick-joke in there some where……

  10. Anonymous November 13, 2010 at 3:20 pm #

    There’s a dick-joke in there some where……

  11. Namelesswon November 16, 2010 at 8:12 am #

    Is it true his real name is penis von lesbian?

  12. Namelesswon November 16, 2010 at 12:12 pm #

    Is it true his real name is penis von lesbian?

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