Rape Culture 101

Melissa McEwan writes on shakesville:

Frequently, I receive requests to provide a definition of the term “rape culture”…

Rape culture is rape being used as a weapon, a tool of war and genocide and oppression. Rape culture is rape being used as a corrective to “cure” queer women. Rape culture is a militarized culture and “the natural product of all wars, everywhere, at all times, in all forms.”

Rape culture is 1 in 33 men being sexually assaulted in their lifetimes. Rape culture is encouraging men to use the language of rape to establish dominance over one another (“I’ll make you my bitch”). Rape culture is making rape a ubiquitous part of male-exclusive bonding. Rape culture is ignoring the cavernous need for men’s prison reform in part because the threat of being raped in prison is considered an acceptable deterrent to committing crime, and the threat only works if actual men are actually being raped.

Rape culture is 1 in 6 women being sexually assaulted in their lifetimes. Rape culture is not even talking about the reality that many women are sexually assaulted multiple times in their lives. Rape culture is the way in which the constant threat of sexual assault affects women’s daily movements. Rape culture is telling girls and women to be careful about what you wear, how you wear it, how you carry yourself, where you walk, when you walk there, with whom you walk, whom you trust, what you do, where you do it, with whom you do it, what you drink, how much you drink, whether you make eye contact, if you’re alone, if you’re with a stranger, if you’re in a group, if you’re in a group of strangers, if it’s dark, if the area is unfamiliar, if you’re carrying something, how you carry it, what kind of shoes you’re wearing in case you have to run, what kind of purse you carry, what jewelry you wear, what time it is, what street it is, what environment it is, how many people you sleep with, what kind of people you sleep with, who your friends are, to whom you give your number, who’s around when the delivery guy comes, to get an apartment where you can see who’s at the door before they can see you, to check before you open the door to the delivery guy, to own a dog or a dog-sound-making machine, to get a roommate, to take self-defense, to always be alert always pay attention always watch your back always be aware of your surroundings and never let your guard down for a moment lest you be sexually assaulted and if you are and didn’t follow all the rules it’s your fault.

Rape culture is victim-blaming. Rape culture is a judge blaming a child for her own rape. Rape culture is a minister blaming his child victims. Rape culture is accusing a child of enjoying being held hostage, raped, and tortured. Rape culture is spending enormous amounts of time finding any reason at all that a victim can be blamed for hir own rape.

Read more here.

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  • http://voxmagi-necessarywords.blogspot.com/ VoxMagi

    Amen sister. Altho…I admit guilt in the exploitation of pre-existing rape culture values…because I’ve warned a few dumbasses in my day…”Son…I’m gay, not paralyzed…and you need to be careful with that mouth…cuz I’ll do more than punch it before I’m done with your peckerwood ass.” The threat of a public beatdown by someone gay and unafraid usually works miracles when it comes to cooling a situation down in a hurry.

    I didn’t invent the language of sexual dominance…I just learned to live in a world full of it…but admitting that the culture needs changing along with my own behavior is a step in the right direction. No promises tho…when I have a ‘mad on’ I’m not at my best when it comes to decision making prowess.

  • http://voxmagi-necessarywords.blogspot.com/ VoxMagi

    Amen sister. Altho…I admit guilt in the exploitation of pre-existing rape culture values…because I’ve warned a few dumbasses in my day…”Son…I’m gay, not paralyzed…and you need to be careful with that mouth…cuz I’ll do more than punch it before I’m done with your peckerwood ass.” The threat of a public beatdown by someone gay and unafraid usually works miracles when it comes to cooling a situation down in a hurry.

    I didn’t invent the language of sexual dominance…I just learned to live in a world full of it…but admitting that the culture needs changing along with my own behavior is a step in the right direction. No promises tho…when I have a ‘mad on’ I’m not at my best when it comes to decision making prowess.

  • Abdi

    but what if she was asking for it?

  • Abdi

    but what if she was asking for it?

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