Via the First Church of Mutterhals:
There’s some exhibit at a museum in Pittsburgh featuring never before seen photos of Marilyn Monroe. Now, I’m not some retrograde star fucker who pines for the golden age of Hollywood when all the men were either latent homosexuals or confirmed rapists and all the women were hopped up on pills. But seeing Monroe’s ethereally beautiful mug plastered all over this city quickly became one of a few bright spots on my otherwise dreary morning commute.
To my horror, this morning I saw that someone defaced one of the billboards touting the exhibit. Under the copy, in awkward, sloppy lettering, stood the hastily spray painted profundity ‘women are not objects’ followed by some bastard amalgam of an anarchy sign and the symbol for female. I guess the self defense class let out early last night and someone was feeling frisky.
I’d like to address the trog that wrote this, or in the very least some of her proxy sisters. You. Janeane, or Betty, or Andrea, or Gloria, or whatever the hell you call yourself at the height of orgasm; you, the joyless, festering hold out to old timey feminism, who still believes and asserts to whomever is listening, in no uncertain terms, with a straight face no less, that American women are oppressed; you who believes that admiring a picture of a long dead Hollywood icon is akin to objectifying women; here is what you should have written on that billboard: “Beautiful women make me uncomfortable, as I am not beautiful.”
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