Who’s Afraid of a Beautiful Woman?

Marilyn MonroeVia the First Church of Mutterhals:

There’s some exhibit at a museum in Pittsburgh featuring never before seen photos of Marilyn Monroe. Now, I’m not some retrograde star fucker who pines for the golden age of Hollywood when all the men were either latent homosexuals or confirmed rapists and all the women were hopped up on pills. But seeing Monroe’s ethereally beautiful mug plastered all over this city quickly became one of a few bright spots on my otherwise dreary morning commute.

To my horror, this morning I saw that someone defaced one of the billboards touting the exhibit. Under the copy, in awkward, sloppy lettering, stood the hastily spray painted profundity ‘women are not objects’ followed by some bastard amalgam of an anarchy sign and the symbol for female. I guess the self defense class let out early last night and someone was feeling frisky.

I’d like to address the trog that wrote this, or in the very least some of her proxy sisters. You. Janeane, or Betty, or Andrea, or Gloria, or whatever the hell you call yourself at the height of orgasm; you, the joyless, festering hold out to old timey feminism, who still believes and asserts to whomever is listening, in no uncertain terms, with a straight face no less, that American women are oppressed; you who believes that admiring a picture of a long dead Hollywood icon is akin to objectifying women; here is what you should have written on that billboard: “Beautiful women make me uncomfortable, as I am not beautiful.”

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  • Fred

    ouch?

  • Fred

    ouch?

  • Fred

    ouch?

  • Andrew

    Didn’t she, like, kill herself or something?

    • http://voxmagi-necessarywords.blogspot.com/ VoxMagi

      lol…you slay me…I saw this response hours ago…and I immediately thought “BAIT”. It’s like dangling the perfect opening line in front of all the Kennedy assassination fanboys out there. I’d hoped to watch carnage unfold and enjoy the spectacle…but no one bit.

  • Andrew

    Didn’t she, like, kill herself or something?

  • Buckets

    Just a thought: what was the last male actor they had a similar exhibit for?

  • Buckets

    Just a thought: what was the last male actor they had a similar exhibit for?

  • Buckets

    Just a thought: what was the last male actor they had a similar exhibit for?

  • Virgendelasvacas

    What exactly is “old timey feminism”?

    Whoever wrote this is obviously an idiot and doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Good job trotting out that old, tired, “Feminists are all ugly and angry over nothing,” trope.

    • razzlebathbone

      I suspect that by “old timey feminism”, she is referring to “second-wave feminism”.

      And considering that second-wavers are probably the only kind who would tend to automatically assume the author was male, I’d say you’ve done a good job proving her point. Well done.

      • Tuna Ghost

        well to be fair the author also assumed that the vandal was female, so why don’t we agree we’re all terrible people deep down.

        .

  • Virgendelasvacas

    What exactly is “old timey feminism”?

    Whoever wrote this is obviously an idiot and doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Good job trotting out that old, tired, “Feminists are all ugly and angry over nothing,” trope.

  • http://voxmagi-necessarywords.blogspot.com/ VoxMagi

    lol…you slay me…I saw this response hours ago…and I immediately thought “BAIT”. It’s like dangling the perfect opening line in front of all the Kennedy assassination fanboys out there. I’d hoped to watch carnage unfold and enjoy the spectacle…but no one bit.

  • http://twitter.com/praticuschaotic John Doe

    What if it was a guy who did it?

  • http://twitter.com/praticuschaotic Jon Doe

    What if it was a guy who did it?

  • Liam_McGonagle

    Yeah, the Talibanization of American culture is just another symptom of how alienated we are from our own human natures.

    I remember one summer afternoon when I was about 10 or 12 and my mother came home early. She was upset and visibly shaking. Apparently the shop she worked in had closed down early due to an unslighly commotion; the police had been called in when a ‘gentleman’ had been found lurking behind the womens’ changing room and caused a BIG commotion.

    The upshot is that this guy was an old guy, and was wearing a keffiyeh or some such. He was fresh off the boat. At least as my mother portrayed the situation, he was totally unaccustomed to seeing women walking about without 95% skin covered by a hijab or whatever and got the idea that all Western women were total tramps. It apparently had never occurred to him that the purpose of segregating the women’s changing room from the store floor was to protect their modesty.

    I mention this anecdote not because I think it’s an attitude peculiar to Islam–I know it isn’t. I remember my mother telling another story of my pious old R.C. grandfather chastising young girls in the neighborhood during the 1930’s for “shamlessly tramping about the streets” in scandalous 1-piece bathing suits on a summer’s day.

    http://www.fashion-era.com/swimwear.htm#1930'sBathingSuits

    I guess I was just trying to echo the point that people’s somatic hang-ups are more likely a reflection of their own perversely distorted world view.

  • Anonymous

    Yeah, the Talibanization of American culture is just another symptom of how alienated we are from our own human natures.

    I remember one summer afternoon when I was about 10 or 12 and my mother came home early. She was upset and visibly shaking. Apparently the shop she worked in had closed down early due to an unslighly commotion; the police had been called in when a ‘gentleman’ had been found lurking behind the womens’ changing room and caused a BIG commotion.

    The upshot is that this guy was an old guy, and was wearing a keffiyeh or some such. He was fresh off the boat. At least as my mother portrayed the situation, he was totally unaccustomed to seeing women walking about without 95% skin covered by a hijab or whatever and got the idea that all Western women were total tramps. It apparently had never occurred to him that the purpose of segregating the women’s changing room from the store floor was to protect their modesty.

    I mention this anecdote not because I think it’s an attitude peculiar to Islam–I know it isn’t. I remember my mother telling another story of my pious old R.C. grandfather chastising young girls in the neighborhood during the 1930’s for “shamlessly tramping about the streets” in scandalous 1-piece bathing suits on a summer’s day.

    http://www.fashion-era.com/swimwear.htm#1930'sBathingSuits

    I guess I was just trying to echo the point that people’s somatic hang-ups are more likely a reflection of their own perversely distorted world view.

  • Anonymous

    Yeah, the Talibanization of American culture is just another symptom of how alienated we are from our own human natures.

    I remember one summer afternoon when I was about 10 or 12 and my mother came home early. She was upset and visibly shaking. Apparently the shop she worked in had closed down early due to an unslighly commotion; the police had been called in when a ‘gentleman’ had been found lurking behind the womens’ changing room and caused a BIG commotion.

    The upshot is that this guy was an old guy, and was wearing a keffiyeh or some such. He was fresh off the boat. At least as my mother portrayed the situation, he was totally unaccustomed to seeing women walking about without 95% skin covered by a hijab or whatever and got the idea that all Western women were total tramps. It apparently had never occurred to him that the purpose of segregating the women’s changing room from the store floor was to protect their modesty.

    I mention this anecdote not because I think it’s an attitude peculiar to Islam–I know it isn’t. I remember my mother telling another story of my pious old R.C. grandfather chastising young girls in the neighborhood during the 1930’s for “shamlessly tramping about the streets” in scandalous 1-piece bathing suits on a summer’s day.

    http://www.fashion-era.com/swimwear.htm#1930'sBathingSuits

    I guess I was just trying to echo the point that people’s somatic hang-ups are more likely a reflection of their own perversely distorted world view.

  • Anonymous

    I suspect that by “old timey feminism”, she is referring to “second-wave feminism”.

    And considering that second-wavers are probably the only kind who would tend to automatically assume the author was male, I’d say you’ve done a good job proving her point. Well done.

  • Thomas Kearns

    What a piece of shit writing.

  • Thomas Kearns

    What a piece of shit writing.

  • Anonymous

    well…. that was crap.

  • samthor

    well…. that was crap.

  • Dan Mac

    interest waning…

  • Dan Mac

    interest waning…

  • Tuna Ghost

    well to be fair the author also assumed that the vandal was female, so why don’t we agree we’re all terrible people deep down.

    .

  • Tuna Ghost

    …That calling a woman beautiful doesn’t mean she is also stupid or weak or subservient, or that she can’t also be strong and smart and capable.

    I think the point is rather that Marlyn Monroe, or indeed pretty much the majority of women ever photographed, are rarely if ever celebrated for their strength or intelligence and practially never photographed for those qualities. Asking “what’s wrong with beautiful women being celebrated for being beautiful?” is sort of a trick question–well nothing, really, I certainly enjoy when people tell me how attractive I am, but then again I’m a dude. The culture in the US pretty much places the public value of a woman (and the value one has as a woman, for that matter) on how attractive they are, and the Monroe exhibit was just another symptom of this toxic aspect of the culture.

  • Tuna Ghost

    …That calling a woman beautiful doesn’t mean she is also stupid or weak or subservient, or that she can’t also be strong and smart and capable.

    I think the point is rather that Marlyn Monroe, or indeed pretty much the majority of women ever photographed, are rarely if ever celebrated for their strength or intelligence and practially never photographed for those qualities. Asking “what’s wrong with beautiful women being celebrated for being beautiful?” is sort of a trick question–well nothing, really, I certainly enjoy when people tell me how attractive I am, but then again I’m a dude. The culture in the US pretty much places the public value of a woman (and the value one has as a woman, for that matter) on how attractive they are, and the Monroe exhibit was just another symptom of this toxic aspect of the culture.

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