LBJ Got His Johnson Out At Every Opportunity

By on January 5, 2011 in News 6

LBJCracked.com has a story about “6 Presidential Secrets Your History Teacher Didn’t Mention,” and Number 6 is a doozy:

Lyndon Johnson Was a Dong-Waving Sex Machine

Johnson was a sexual beast, and also fond of (literally) waving his dick around.

While other unfaithful presidents were satisfied with little affairs here and there, Johnson’s bevy of babes was referred to by his male aides as a harem (he was said to be jealous of Kennedy’s womanizing ways and wanted to top him). Johnson would make passes at secretaries, and it was known that any who accepted would be promoted to private secretary, two words that in this context should probably have air quotes around them anytime they are uttered. By the time he was done, virtually all of his secretaries, plus his two mistresses, got the Johnson Treatment.

He then tasked the Secret Service with keeping his philandering from his wife, but it obviously did not do a good job at that. His wife had full knowledge of everything and sometimes even supported it. At parties, he would make obvious passes at girls right in front of his wife. One of the girls who stayed over at his place got awakened in the middle of the night by Johnson holding a flashlight and saying, “Move over. This is your president.”

As for waving around his cock (a little extension of him that he had affectionately nicknamed “Jumbo”), he was said to piss in public whenever he felt like it, and if anyone dared confront him, he would whip his dick around and challenge the poor sap with, “Have you seen anything bigger than this?”…

Be sure to check out the other 5 shockers at Cracked.com.

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  • Hadrian999

    I want to know what his secret service code name was

  • Hadrian999

    I want to know what his secret service code name was

    • Wolflair

      In 1973, I met a retired Air Force officer who claimed to be one of the Air Force One pilots for LBJ. He had stories to share that, if true, provided quite an insight into Lyndon’s personality. He told me that LBJ’s code name was “Bull Nuts.” I have not reason to believe it’s not true.

  • Anonymous

    Like every other president, LBJ does seem to have been a bizarre cock(tail) of hard-driving ambition, vicious aggression and deep insecurity.

    Maybe this particular perversion is one of the more literal manifestations of a hypermachismo designed to compensate for doubts he had about his masculinity.

    JFK was an actual war hero and bagged plenty of high class tail in his day, so he may not have felt the need to ramp up involvement in Vietnam as a facade.

    LBJ, on the other hand, had nothing more glamorous than a one-time guest spot during a bombing mission in the Pacific that ended uneventfully. More than I’ve done for sure, but a pretty far cry from JFK’s martial exploits.

    On the other hand, LBJ did also declare War on Poverty and signed a lot of civil rights legislation. So he did have more than a little good in ‘im, too.

  • Liam_McGonagle

    Like every other president, LBJ does seem to have been a bizarre cock(tail) of hard-driving ambition, vicious aggression and deep insecurity.

    Maybe this particular perversion is one of the more literal manifestations of a hypermachismo designed to compensate for doubts he had about his masculinity.

    JFK was an actual war hero and bagged plenty of high class tail in his day, so he may not have felt the need to ramp up involvement in Vietnam as a facade.

    LBJ, on the other hand, had nothing more glamorous than a one-time guest spot during a bombing mission in the Pacific that ended uneventfully. More than I’ve done for sure, but a pretty far cry from JFK’s martial exploits.

    On the other hand, LBJ did also declare War on Poverty and signed a lot of civil rights legislation. So he did have more than a little good in ‘im, too.

  • Wolflair

    In 1973, I met a retired Air Force officer who claimed to be one of the Air Force One pilots for LBJ. He had stories to share that, if true, provided quite an insight into Lyndon’s personality. He told me that LBJ’s code name was “Bull Nuts.” I have not reason to believe it’s not true.