The United States Of Shame

By on February 9, 2011 in News 42

The magical thing about the United States is that our nation is a rich tapestry — of gonorrhea cases and bankruptcy, that is. Find out what surprising, ignominious category your home state leads the country in. Who would have guessed that Mormon Utah is porn-crazy? Concocted by Pleated-Jeans:

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  • Marklar_Prime

    I don’t get it. Does “beastiality” mean my state has too much, or not enough?

  • http://twitter.com/Marklar_Prime Marklar Kronkite

    I don’t get it. Does “beastiality” mean my state has too much, or not enough?

  • http://twitter.com/Marklar_Prime Marklar Kronkite

    I don’t get it. Does “beastiality” mean my state has too much, or not enough?

  • WhiteRose

    It’s all those German imports, damn beasts….

  • WhiteRose

    It’s all those German imports, damn beasts….

  • Tuna Ghost

    huh, shown like that Michigan’s crippling unemployment rate doesn’t seem so half-bad

  • Tuna Ghost

    huh, shown like that Michigan’s crippling unemployment rate doesn’t seem so half-bad

  • Happypedro

    Great. Now how about a map of the USA that shows what each state is the BEST at? George Carlin used to talk about the things which unite us, which we rarely hear about, instead of all the stuff that divides us, which we hear about all the time. So, likewise, while I like this map pointing out our weaknesses, and think it’s important, I also feel it’s important to point out what we are good at. Is there a state that is #1 in use of solar panels? Another state that is #1 in being the closest to having single payer health care? Is there another state that is excellent for supporting free thinking, economic justice, etc, etc?

  • Happypedro

    Great. Now how about a map of the USA that shows what each state is the BEST at? George Carlin used to talk about the things which unite us, which we rarely hear about, instead of all the stuff that divides us, which we hear about all the time. So, likewise, while I like this map pointing out our weaknesses, and think it’s important, I also feel it’s important to point out what we are good at. Is there a state that is #1 in use of solar panels? Another state that is #1 in being the closest to having single payer health care? Is there another state that is excellent for supporting free thinking, economic justice, etc, etc?

  • Hadrian999

    nothing shameful about porn usage or mobile homes

  • Hadrian999

    nothing shameful about porn usage or mobile homes

  • DeepCough

    Glad to see that Delaware is staunchly pro-choice. Now where is the “pothead” state of the Union at?

  • DeepCough

    Glad to see that Delaware is staunchly pro-choice. Now where is the “pothead” state of the Union at?

  • ArgosyJones

    Ohio is the nerdiest state? I live in Toledo. Mind = BLOWN. Where do I have to go to find other nerds? Or does this just apply to Star Trek fans?

  • ArgosyJones

    Ohio is the nerdiest state? I live in Toledo. Mind = BLOWN. Where do I have to go to find other nerds? Or does this just apply to Star Trek fans?

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_C5SV3Y6GG7GRK3NBX64IXAXDGM Jessica Hurst

    Some of these seem rather hard to quantify. How do you objectively measure nerdiness or stupidity? Does ‘worst drug use’ also include alcohol, tobacco, and prescription drug abuse? Was poorest health based on the amount of people who get sick or the amount of people who don’t receive treatment? I’d like to see something with stats.

    • Gx

      ya know, you should click on Pleated-Jeans above.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_C5SV3Y6GG7GRK3NBX64IXAXDGM Jessica Hurst

        Ah, you are correct sir! I did find the criteria quite narrow, though.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_C5SV3Y6GG7GRK3NBX64IXAXDGM Jessica Hurst

    Some of these seem rather hard to quantify. How do you objectively measure nerdiness or stupidity? Does ‘worst drug use’ also include alcohol, tobacco, and prescription drug abuse? Was poorest health based on the amount of people who get sick or the amount of people who don’t receive treatment? I’d like to see something with stats.

  • grooveboss

    lame.

  • grooveboss

    lame.

  • BB

    Abortion?
    Is this pro-choice or pro-life angle ?
    Do they get lots of abortions? Why is that bad. I’m confused .

  • BB

    Abortion?
    Is this pro-choice or pro-life angle ?
    Do they get lots of abortions? Why is that bad. I’m confused .

  • Gx

    ya know, you should click on Pleated-Jeans above.

  • 5by5

    I object to the characterization of the entire state of Washington as having a problem with “bestiality”. EASTERN Washington maybe, but don’t lump good Seattle residents in with the crazy rightwing buggers on the other side of the mountains, please. :)

  • 5by5

    I object to the characterization of the entire state of Washington as having a problem with “bestiality”. EASTERN Washington maybe, but don’t lump good Seattle residents in with the crazy rightwing buggers on the other side of the mountains, please. :)

  • Anonymous

    “Weakest Government Influence” in my state. Actually we have a lot of small-town corruption in at least one local government agency. It is literally “Dukes of Hazard” around here.

  • Anonymous_Reader

    “Weakest Government Influence” in my state. Actually we have a lot of small-town corruption in at least one local government agency. It is literally “Dukes of Hazard” around here.

  • saint_al

    Ohio is “Nerdiest”?
    w00t!
    /writing from Cincinnati, “The Paris of the Midwest”.

  • saint_al

    Ohio is “Nerdiest”?
    w00t!
    /writing from Cincinnati, “The Paris of the Midwest”.

  • Maddy

    I would say Oregon’s biggest problem isn’t the homeless population, but the fact that we’re the Meth Capital of America.

  • Maddy

    I would say Oregon’s biggest problem isn’t the homeless population, but the fact that we’re the Meth Capital of America.

  • GirlGirl

    My state is worst at “Crime”. Does that mean arson, cocaine use and drunk driving aren’t crimes?

  • GirlGirl

    My state is worst at “Crime”. Does that mean arson, cocaine use and drunk driving aren’t crimes?

  • GirlGirl

    My state is worst at “Crime”. Does that mean arson, cocaine use and drunk driving aren’t crimes?

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_C5SV3Y6GG7GRK3NBX64IXAXDGM Jessica Hurst

    Ah, you are correct sir! I did find the criteria quite narrow, though.

  • Ohio

    Ohio is the “Nerdiest State”? Nice. Seems like we’ve received the only compliment on the entire map… but ‘least government influence” doesn’t sound too bad either.

  • Ohio

    Ohio is the “Nerdiest State”? Nice. Seems like we’ve received the only compliment on the entire map… but ‘least government influence” doesn’t sound too bad either.

  • http://www.facebook.com/karry.foster Karry Foster

    Wow! How interesting! I’m just curious… do you also give equal time to pepople who live in the United States that actually LOVE the United States? Are you going to post a chart that shows what each state is BEST at? You might also like.. Russia, or Communist China, or Argentina. How about Cuba, North Korea, or Somolia? Perhaps you would rather live in one of those places? Just a thought.

  • http://www.facebook.com/karry.foster Karry Foster

    Wow! How interesting! I’m just curious… do you also give equal time to pepople who live in the United States that actually LOVE the United States? Are you going to post a chart that shows what each state is BEST at? You might also like.. Russia, or Communist China, or Argentina. How about Cuba, North Korea, or Somolia? Perhaps you would rather live in one of those places? Just a thought.

    • Andrew

      Poor, picked on America… What did we ever do to deserve having our facade of perfection questioned?

  • Andrew

    Poor, picked on America… What did we ever do to deserve having our facade of perfection questioned?