The United States Of Shame

The magical thing about the United States is that our nation is a rich tapestry — of gonorrhea cases and bankruptcy, that is. Find out what surprising, ignominious category your home state leads the country in. Who would have guessed that Mormon Utah is porn-crazy? Concocted by Pleated-Jeans:

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42 Responses to The United States Of Shame

  1. Marklar_Prime February 9, 2011 at 7:27 pm #

    I don’t get it. Does “beastiality” mean my state has too much, or not enough?

  2. Marklar Kronkite February 9, 2011 at 11:27 pm #

    I don’t get it. Does “beastiality” mean my state has too much, or not enough?

  3. Marklar Kronkite February 9, 2011 at 11:27 pm #

    I don’t get it. Does “beastiality” mean my state has too much, or not enough?

  4. WhiteRose February 9, 2011 at 7:42 pm #

    It’s all those German imports, damn beasts….

  5. WhiteRose February 9, 2011 at 11:42 pm #

    It’s all those German imports, damn beasts….

  6. Tuna Ghost February 9, 2011 at 8:16 pm #

    huh, shown like that Michigan’s crippling unemployment rate doesn’t seem so half-bad

  7. Tuna Ghost February 10, 2011 at 12:16 am #

    huh, shown like that Michigan’s crippling unemployment rate doesn’t seem so half-bad

  8. Happypedro February 9, 2011 at 8:52 pm #

    Great. Now how about a map of the USA that shows what each state is the BEST at? George Carlin used to talk about the things which unite us, which we rarely hear about, instead of all the stuff that divides us, which we hear about all the time. So, likewise, while I like this map pointing out our weaknesses, and think it’s important, I also feel it’s important to point out what we are good at. Is there a state that is #1 in use of solar panels? Another state that is #1 in being the closest to having single payer health care? Is there another state that is excellent for supporting free thinking, economic justice, etc, etc?

  9. Happypedro February 10, 2011 at 12:52 am #

    Great. Now how about a map of the USA that shows what each state is the BEST at? George Carlin used to talk about the things which unite us, which we rarely hear about, instead of all the stuff that divides us, which we hear about all the time. So, likewise, while I like this map pointing out our weaknesses, and think it’s important, I also feel it’s important to point out what we are good at. Is there a state that is #1 in use of solar panels? Another state that is #1 in being the closest to having single payer health care? Is there another state that is excellent for supporting free thinking, economic justice, etc, etc?

  10. Hadrian999 February 9, 2011 at 10:31 pm #

    nothing shameful about porn usage or mobile homes

  11. Hadrian999 February 10, 2011 at 2:31 am #

    nothing shameful about porn usage or mobile homes

  12. DeepCough February 9, 2011 at 10:33 pm #

    Glad to see that Delaware is staunchly pro-choice. Now where is the “pothead” state of the Union at?

  13. DeepCough February 10, 2011 at 2:33 am #

    Glad to see that Delaware is staunchly pro-choice. Now where is the “pothead” state of the Union at?

  14. ArgosyJones February 9, 2011 at 11:14 pm #

    Ohio is the nerdiest state? I live in Toledo. Mind = BLOWN. Where do I have to go to find other nerds? Or does this just apply to Star Trek fans?

  15. ArgosyJones February 10, 2011 at 3:14 am #

    Ohio is the nerdiest state? I live in Toledo. Mind = BLOWN. Where do I have to go to find other nerds? Or does this just apply to Star Trek fans?

  16. Jessica Hurst February 10, 2011 at 12:21 am #

    Some of these seem rather hard to quantify. How do you objectively measure nerdiness or stupidity? Does ‘worst drug use’ also include alcohol, tobacco, and prescription drug abuse? Was poorest health based on the amount of people who get sick or the amount of people who don’t receive treatment? I’d like to see something with stats.

    • Gx February 10, 2011 at 11:14 am #

      ya know, you should click on Pleated-Jeans above.

      • Jessica Hurst February 14, 2011 at 2:55 am #

        Ah, you are correct sir! I did find the criteria quite narrow, though.

  17. Jessica Hurst February 10, 2011 at 4:21 am #

    Some of these seem rather hard to quantify. How do you objectively measure nerdiness or stupidity? Does ‘worst drug use’ also include alcohol, tobacco, and prescription drug abuse? Was poorest health based on the amount of people who get sick or the amount of people who don’t receive treatment? I’d like to see something with stats.

  18. grooveboss February 10, 2011 at 11:34 am #

    lame.

  19. grooveboss February 10, 2011 at 7:34 am #

    lame.

  20. BB February 10, 2011 at 2:58 pm #

    Abortion?
    Is this pro-choice or pro-life angle ?
    Do they get lots of abortions? Why is that bad. I’m confused .

  21. BB February 10, 2011 at 10:58 am #

    Abortion?
    Is this pro-choice or pro-life angle ?
    Do they get lots of abortions? Why is that bad. I’m confused .

  22. Gx February 10, 2011 at 3:14 pm #

    ya know, you should click on Pleated-Jeans above.

  23. 5by5 February 10, 2011 at 3:50 pm #

    I object to the characterization of the entire state of Washington as having a problem with “bestiality”. EASTERN Washington maybe, but don’t lump good Seattle residents in with the crazy rightwing buggers on the other side of the mountains, please. :)

  24. 5by5 February 10, 2011 at 11:50 am #

    I object to the characterization of the entire state of Washington as having a problem with “bestiality”. EASTERN Washington maybe, but don’t lump good Seattle residents in with the crazy rightwing buggers on the other side of the mountains, please. :)

  25. Anonymous February 10, 2011 at 4:07 pm #

    “Weakest Government Influence” in my state. Actually we have a lot of small-town corruption in at least one local government agency. It is literally “Dukes of Hazard” around here.

  26. Anonymous_Reader February 10, 2011 at 12:07 pm #

    “Weakest Government Influence” in my state. Actually we have a lot of small-town corruption in at least one local government agency. It is literally “Dukes of Hazard” around here.

  27. saint_al February 10, 2011 at 9:29 pm #

    Ohio is “Nerdiest”?
    w00t!
    /writing from Cincinnati, “The Paris of the Midwest”.

  28. saint_al February 10, 2011 at 5:29 pm #

    Ohio is “Nerdiest”?
    w00t!
    /writing from Cincinnati, “The Paris of the Midwest”.

  29. Maddy February 11, 2011 at 2:06 am #

    I would say Oregon’s biggest problem isn’t the homeless population, but the fact that we’re the Meth Capital of America.

  30. Maddy February 10, 2011 at 10:06 pm #

    I would say Oregon’s biggest problem isn’t the homeless population, but the fact that we’re the Meth Capital of America.

  31. GirlGirl February 13, 2011 at 7:33 pm #

    My state is worst at “Crime”. Does that mean arson, cocaine use and drunk driving aren’t crimes?

  32. GirlGirl February 13, 2011 at 11:33 pm #

    My state is worst at “Crime”. Does that mean arson, cocaine use and drunk driving aren’t crimes?

  33. GirlGirl February 13, 2011 at 11:33 pm #

    My state is worst at “Crime”. Does that mean arson, cocaine use and drunk driving aren’t crimes?

  34. Jessica Hurst February 14, 2011 at 6:55 am #

    Ah, you are correct sir! I did find the criteria quite narrow, though.

  35. Ohio February 21, 2011 at 1:50 am #

    Ohio is the “Nerdiest State”? Nice. Seems like we’ve received the only compliment on the entire map… but ‘least government influence” doesn’t sound too bad either.

  36. Ohio February 21, 2011 at 5:50 am #

    Ohio is the “Nerdiest State”? Nice. Seems like we’ve received the only compliment on the entire map… but ‘least government influence” doesn’t sound too bad either.

  37. Karry Foster March 4, 2011 at 12:58 pm #

    Wow! How interesting! I’m just curious… do you also give equal time to pepople who live in the United States that actually LOVE the United States? Are you going to post a chart that shows what each state is BEST at? You might also like.. Russia, or Communist China, or Argentina. How about Cuba, North Korea, or Somolia? Perhaps you would rather live in one of those places? Just a thought.

  38. Karry Foster March 4, 2011 at 8:58 am #

    Wow! How interesting! I’m just curious… do you also give equal time to pepople who live in the United States that actually LOVE the United States? Are you going to post a chart that shows what each state is BEST at? You might also like.. Russia, or Communist China, or Argentina. How about Cuba, North Korea, or Somolia? Perhaps you would rather live in one of those places? Just a thought.

    • Andrew March 4, 2011 at 11:13 am #

      Poor, picked on America… What did we ever do to deserve having our facade of perfection questioned?

  39. Andrew March 4, 2011 at 3:13 pm #

    Poor, picked on America… What did we ever do to deserve having our facade of perfection questioned?

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