Marijuana won’t be legalized anytime soon. But that’s OK. Because what I’m about to tell you is going to make weed look like the cheap high it is.
When everyone catches wind of what I’m about to tell you — the establishment will be tripping over themselves to legalize every single drug in the book to keep from losing you as a customer. That’s how powerful this secret I’m about to reveal to you is. . . Your brain produces a chemical known as DMT; one of the most powerful hallucinogens in existence.
Reports of encountering “multidimensional machine elves” are common. And your brain produces this chemical naturally. In fact they say DMT is what makes us dream. Now what if there was a way to release this chemical into your body on demand? It would obviously have to be a form of self-hypnosis; a way of “tricking” your brain into mass-producing and releasing this chemical. This is where symbolism comes in handy.
The part of the brain implicated in the production of DMT is the pineal gland (pronounced: pin•ē•əl). This is fortunate for us in terms of symbolism because the pineal gland throughout time has been associated with the “THIRD EYE.” The Third Eye of course is associated with the 6th sense and psychic powers, but that’s not important right now. What’s important is how we consciously trick the brain and pineal gland into producing this entirely natural DMT high.
Bored with your sex life?
I suggest “Sex Hypnosis” because I’m kind-hearted, because it’s convenient and because sex is fun for most of us. Now we all know what regular hypnosis is – the induction of an altered state of consciousness by means of guided meditation. Therefore self-hynosis is an induction of an altered state of consciousness by means of self-will. You make the transformation happen in yourself. Now we arrive at sex-hypnosis: the induction of an altered state of consciousness by means of sexual-will. In other words, combining our WILL, our desire, our intent of transforming consciousness with that of sexual energy.
By using symbolism we have the means to program our brain into behaving the way we want. In this case we want the pineal gland to release DMT. So we have to ‘talk’ to the pineal gland, we have to ‘call’ it. Not to put too fine a point on it, but we have to call it by name – and we just happen to have a really cool name for it: the Third Eye.
I call it “MONITOR” because it’s obvious, because it’s convenient and because that’s what it wants me to call it. Your pineal gland may vary. Please consult your pineal gland before taking MONITOR. Possible side effects may include: enlightenment, happiness, money, fame, perfect health, infinite lifespan, increased member length, large firm breasts, psychic powers, mind-blowing sex, seeing a different dimension on your Tv screen, UFO abduction, freaking out, throwing parties.
*FYI* for those of you reading this that are too young or timid to try sex in the name of MONITOR – YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE – there is an alternative we call ‘Dancing in the name of MONITOR.’ Successful attempts at dancing in the name of MONITOR are identical to having sex in the name of MONITOR; there have been documented cases of spontaneous human orgasm from dancing in the name of MONITOR.
“Well, it started when I began to feel lightheaded, then euphoric.
And then, then I heard music and it was kinda reflecting my
thoughts… I could control the music… so I concentrated and fell
into the music… I guess. And then… wait a minute, who am I
again?” - Anon.
P.s. If at first you don’t succeed – try, try again.