Samurai Sword-Wielding Bin Laden Hunter, Gary Faulkner, Demands Share of U.S. Reward

Gary Faulkner“I’m not greedy, but I sold everything I had and I put my life on the line.” Via Fox News:

DENVER, Colo.— A samurai sword-wielding American who waged his own personal quest to capture Usama bin Laden demanded Tuesday a share of the official $27 million reward following the terror chief’s death.

Gary Faulkner, a construction worker from Greeley, Colo., who came to international attention after being arrested in Pakistan last year, told ABC News he had served the Al Qaeda leader “up on a platter” for U.S. authorities.

“I had a major hand and play in this wonderful thing, getting him out of the mountains and down to the valleys … Someone had to get him out of there. That’s where I came in,” he said. “I scared the squirrel out of his hole, he popped his head up and he got capped.

“I’m proud of our boys, I’m very proud of our government … They were handed this opportunity on a platter from myself.”

For more information, see original article.

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  • Anonymous

    Tommy Chong’s long lost brother…

  • GoodDoktorBad

    Tommy Chong’s long lost brother…

    • Tuna Ghost

      Ha! There is an uncanny resemblance, I must admit

    • Simiantongue

      Those guys really need to make on last movie. It’s a low priority on my wish list but it’s there.

  • Tuna Ghost

    Ha! There is an uncanny resemblance, I must admit

  • Tuna Ghost

    I doubt he’ll get any of the reward money, but I’ll pay him 100$ to tell his his stories to my middle-schoolers

  • Tuna Ghost

    I doubt he’ll get any of the reward money, but I’ll pay him 100$ to tell his his stories to my middle-schoolers

  • Tuna Ghost

    I doubt he’ll get any of the reward money, but I’ll pay him 100$ to tell his his stories to my middle-schoolers

  • Hadrian999

    i admire his moxie

  • Hadrian999

    i admire his moxie

  • Jackedu317

    seriously? what a joke. this guy’s obviously lost his mind. it’s straight jacket time…

  • Jackedu317

    seriously? what a joke. this guy’s obviously lost his mind. it’s straight jacket time…

  • Navysealteam7

    I want my share of $1 million just for reading about this drival..

  • Navysealteam7

    I want my share of $1 million just for reading about this drival..

  • Blah

    his story is not more stupid than the one from the white house. they should combine both and make a blockbuster movie about it, directed by tarantino.

  • Blah

    his story is not more stupid than the one from the white house. they should combine both and make a blockbuster movie about it, directed by tarantino.

  • Rheokhu

    We should have let the Pakistani cops keep him.

  • Anonymous

    We should have let the Pakistani cops keep him.

  • Simiantongue

    Those guys really need to make on last movie. It’s a low priority on my wish list but it’s there.

  • Strummingbabe

    fucking give the money to the guy.

    And it is tommy chongs lost brother, they got seperated after smoking too much weed, tommy was talking about starting hotel chains that all had guitars in them and this guy was going to go kill osama bin laden, if samurai sword point if need be.

    He has legal right to the bounty because he has financial investment into this.

    compensate this man.

    I wish I would have sold everything I had to kill osama bin laden and run around the desert with a samurai sword.

    I would get chicks.

    Clutch.

    -Dustin.

    • CeleryGeneral

      Yeah, if those chicks were deaf, blind, and stupid.

      • Hadrian999

        the best kind

  • Strummingbabe

    fucking give the money to the guy.

    And it is tommy chongs lost brother, they got seperated after smoking too much weed, tommy was talking about starting hotel chains that all had guitars in them and this guy was going to go kill osama bin laden, if samurai sword point if need be.

    He has legal right to the bounty because he has financial investment into this.

    compensate this man.

    I wish I would have sold everything I had to kill osama bin laden and run around the desert with a samurai sword.

    I would get chicks.

    Clutch.

    -Dustin.

  • Strummingbabe

    Get this guy to get that fucker Gadaffi man.

    BEAT YOU ALL.

  • Strummingbabe

    Get this guy to get that fucker Gadaffi man.

    BEAT YOU ALL.

  • Anonymous

    Yeah, if those chicks were deaf, blind, and stupid.

  • CeleryGeneral

    This dude wanted to justifiably murder someone so bad that he sold his shit and moved out there? Bet he was upset on that age limit to join the military. Just another greedy, selfish prick trying to capitalize on something that didn’t happen.

  • Anonymous

    This dude wanted to justifiably murder someone so bad that he sold his shit and moved out there? Bet he was upset on that age limit to join the military. Just another greedy, selfish prick trying to capitalize on something that didn’t happen.

  • Hadrian999

    the best kind

  • emperorreagan

    If the government would like to start financially supporting the delusions and/or pure idiocy of private citizens with multi-million dollar rewards, I have a few ideas I would like to offer up.

  • emperorreagan

    If the government would like to start financially supporting the delusions and/or pure idiocy of private citizens with multi-million dollar rewards, I have a few ideas I would like to offer up.

  • http://drwho.virtadpt.net/ The Doctor

    Mall Ninja – strike for vengeance!

  • Anonymous

    Mall Ninja – strike for vengeance!

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