U.S. Warns Of Zombie Apocalypse

Hard to believe that this is a real communication from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control, but it is! From the official CDC blog:

There are all kinds of emergencies out there that we can prepare for. Take a zombie apocalypse for example. That’s right, I said z-o-m-b-i-e a-p-o-c-a-l-y-p-s-e. You may laugh now, but when it happens you’ll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you’ll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency.

A Brief History of Zombies

We’ve all seen at least one movie about flesh-eating zombies taking over (my personal favorite is Resident Evil), but where do zombies come from and why do they love eating brains so much? The word zombie comes from Haitian and New Orleans voodoo origins. Although its meaning has changed slightly over the years, it refers to a human corpse mysteriously reanimated to serve the undead. Through ancient voodoo and folk-lore traditions, shows like the Walking Dead were born.

In movies, shows, and literature, zombies are often depicted as being created by an infectious virus, which is passed on via bites and contact with bodily fluids. Harvard psychiatrist Steven Schoolman wrote a (fictional) medical paper on the zombies presented in Night of the Living Dead and refers to the condition as Ataxic Neurodegenerative Satiety Deficiency Syndrome caused by an infectious agent. The Zombie Survival Guide identifies the cause of zombies as a virus called solanum. Other zombie origins shown in films include radiation from a destroyedNASA Venus probe (as in Night of the Living Dead), as well as mutations of existing conditions such as prionsmad-cow diseasemeasles and rabies.

The rise of zombies in pop culture has given credence to the idea that a zombie apocalypse could happen. In such a scenario zombies would take over entire countries, roaming city streets eating anything living that got in their way. The proliferation of this idea has led many people to wonder “How do I prepare for a zombie apocalypse?”

Well, we’re here to answer that question for you, and hopefully share a few tips about preparing for real emergencies too!

[continues at the official CDC blog]

majestic

Majestic is gadfly emeritus.

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56 Comments on "U.S. Warns Of Zombie Apocalypse"

  1. where the fuck is the rest of the article?

  2. where the fuck is the rest of the article?

    • Markov Cheney | May 19, 2011 at 2:16 pm |

      hmm.. I dunno.. maybe at the link contained in the text: “[continues at the official CDC blog]” 

      I’m just guessing though 

  3. Yeah where is the rest how do we prevent ourselves from infetion besides don’t get bit or body fluids in ya. What else?
     

  4. Yeah where is the rest how do we prevent ourselves from infetion besides don’t get bit or body fluids in ya. What else?
     

  5. put it in really simple terms will ya. something th people can get their collective (mob) minds (BRAINS) around..

  6. put it in really simple terms will ya. something th people can get their collective (mob) minds (BRAINS) around..

  7. Resident Evil is/was a game… not a movie. 

  8. Resident Evil is/was a game… not a movie. 

  9. Umbrella Corp. | May 19, 2011 at 3:41 pm |

    it is/ was also a movie. A shit one.

  10. E.B. Wolf | May 19, 2011 at 3:56 pm |

     Zombie Apocalypse: Chances are, you’re already surrounded by mindless, bloodthirsty, half-alive, subhuman wretches. An actual zombie outbreak would just give you an excuse to do something constructive.

  11. E.B. Wolf | May 19, 2011 at 11:56 am |

     Zombie Apocalypse: Chances are, you’re already surrounded by mindless, bloodthirsty, half-alive, subhuman wretches. An actual zombie outbreak would just give you an excuse to do something constructive.

    • More people need to watch Ugly Americans.

      • E.B. Wolf | May 19, 2011 at 4:16 pm |

        People watch more than enough TV as is. 

        • Butter Knife | Jun 2, 2011 at 12:05 am |

          But if they were watching the right TV, which is to say, the TV that I like, it wouldn’t be a problem, because they would be watching TV which is thought-provoking and intellectually stimulating.

          Surely you see the obvious righteousness of this premise.

          [/sarcasm]

  12. Anonymous | May 19, 2011 at 4:27 pm |

     Well it makes sense. If you can handle a zombie apocalypse, you can handle just about anything. Just another reason to stock up in your shelters.

  13.  Well it makes sense. If you can handle a zombie apocalypse, you can handle just about anything. Just another reason to stock up in your shelters.

  14. Markov Cheney | May 19, 2011 at 6:16 pm |

    hmm.. I dunno.. maybe at the link contained in the text: “[continues at the official CDC blog]” 

    I’m just guessing though 

  15. justagirl | May 19, 2011 at 6:53 pm |

     zombies be using the internet.

  16. justagirl | May 19, 2011 at 6:57 pm |

    zombie survival kit should include wood, hammer, nails and shotgun.  wtf?

  17. justagirl | May 19, 2011 at 2:57 pm |

    zombie survival kit should include wood, hammer, nails and shotgun.  wtf?

  18. Zombiefreeworld | May 19, 2011 at 7:04 pm |

    whoever wrote this article is a complete noob. he has no idea what zombies are about and is going to mislead and give disinformation to a lot of people…www.zombiefreeworld.com

  19. Zombiefreeworld | May 19, 2011 at 3:04 pm |

    whoever wrote this article is a complete noob. he has no idea what zombies are about and is going to mislead and give disinformation to a lot of people…www.zombiefreeworld.com

  20. Anonymous | May 19, 2011 at 7:07 pm |

    “your source for credible health information!”

  21. MoralDrift | May 19, 2011 at 3:07 pm |

    “your source for credible health information!”

  22. cesium 137 | May 19, 2011 at 7:33 pm |

    we’ll all be mutants soon if the Japanese can’t fix their fucking reactors!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  23. cesium 137 | May 19, 2011 at 3:33 pm |

    we’ll all be mutants soon if the Japanese can’t fix their fucking reactors!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  24. More people need to watch Ugly Americans.

  25. E.B. Wolf | May 19, 2011 at 8:16 pm |

    People watch more than enough TV as is. 

  26. Anonymous | May 19, 2011 at 8:26 pm |

    Uh its both actually. 

  27. check out some cool judgment day tshirts on stillherethanks.com

  28. Wadejanes | May 20, 2011 at 3:52 am |

    it seems to me that all the zombies are going to starve because every-one’s lost their mind’s if they believe this garbage !!! 

  29. Wadejanes | May 19, 2011 at 11:52 pm |

    it seems to me that all the zombies are going to starve because every-one’s lost their mind’s if they believe this garbage !!! 

  30. DeepCough | May 20, 2011 at 4:43 am |

    I always knew that the “Zombie Survival Guide” was an invaluable tool.

  31. DeepCough | May 20, 2011 at 12:43 am |

    I always knew that the “Zombie Survival Guide” was an invaluable tool.

  32. The real zombie apocalypse that can happen (how are those dreams coming along?) will with all likelihood be caused by siege wars in the future against overpopulated nations whose lands cannot sustain them, forcing the inhabitants to cannibalism….

  33. The real zombie apocalypse that can happen (how are those dreams coming along?) will with all likelihood be caused by siege wars in the future against overpopulated nations whose lands cannot sustain them, forcing the inhabitants to cannibalism….

  34. Madmacks23 | May 23, 2011 at 7:49 pm |

    the “ministry of zombies,the official zombie handbook (uk)” another usefull guide.
    and before any one has a rant i dont actualy belive in the actual dead coming to life, but it is a good guide for when society finally does collapse. (it’s taking it’s time) 

  35. Madmacks23 | May 23, 2011 at 3:49 pm |

    the “ministry of zombies,the official zombie handbook (uk)” another usefull guide.
    and before any one has a rant i dont actualy belive in the actual dead coming to life, but it is a good guide for when society finally does collapse. (it’s taking it’s time) 

  36. Even if a zombie apocalypse happens, it’s not like the zombies will go anywhere. Natural predators are everywhere- animals looking for a bite to eat, bacteria (which grows exponentially under heat & moisture.. hey, look at our climate! Especially during the summertime.), humans (and our weapons. We’re not top of the food chain for no reason.), insects (maggots! eww!) and a whole lot of other reasons. 

  37. Even if a zombie apocalypse happens, it’s not like the zombies will go anywhere. Natural predators are everywhere- animals looking for a bite to eat, bacteria (which grows exponentially under heat & moisture.. hey, look at our climate! Especially during the summertime.), humans (and our weapons. We’re not top of the food chain for no reason.), insects (maggots! eww!) and a whole lot of other reasons. 

  38. Frank Zermeno | May 28, 2011 at 11:17 pm |

    You sir are a moron.

  39. CRYSTILSTARR | May 29, 2011 at 7:14 pm |

    I THINK THIS WHOLE SITE ABOUT ZOMBIES IS MORONIC JUST LIKE THE SIMPLE PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT THIS SHIT COULD REALLY HAPPEN!

  40. aim for the head~

  41. aim for the head~

  42. It’s a creative public service ad for the CDC on emergency preparedness, you idiot. It’s not about REAL zombie attacks.  

  43. It’s a creative public service ad for the CDC on emergency preparedness, you idiot. It’s not about REAL zombie attacks.  

  44. Butter Knife | Jun 2, 2011 at 4:05 am |

    But if they were watching the right TV, which is to say, the TV that I like, it wouldn’t be a problem, because they would be watching TV which is thought-provoking and intellectually stimulating.

    Surely you see the obvious righteousness of this premise.

    [/sarcasm]

  45. I think your caps lock is broken.

  46. I think your caps lock is broken.

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