Of Course I Take Pictures Of My Penis And Send Them To People

Congressman Anthony Wiener

Congressman Anthony Weiner

Weinergate inspires a parody by John Kenney in the New Yorker:

Why wouldn’t I?

It’s my penis. And as a great man once said, it’s meant to be photographed. Though I have no idea who that great man was.

Where some people have photos of their families on their desks at work, I have photos of my penis. My penis on vacation in the Bahamas. My penis in Madrid, on a business trip, the Prado in the background (slightly out of focus). My penis receiving an award for Outstanding Employee of the Month.

At birthdays and holidays I like to send photographs of my penis to friends and family. My in-laws, Marge and Walter, say they always look forward to getting my penis Christmas card.

Someone asked me recently when I started taking pictures of my penis and sending them to people, and I honestly couldn’t remember. College, maybe? All I know is that one day I picked up a Nikon SLR and thought, “Maybe I should look down my pants and take a photo and then send it to some people.”

And I’m not alone in history.

Teddy Roosevelt, for instance, was a big fan of photographing his penis, and would pose for hours at a time…

continues in the New Yorker

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  • Grooveboss

    well if its this kind of party….

  • Grooveboss

    well if its this kind of party….

  • Anonymous

    Okay. . . Fighting the urge to indulge in some puerile joke that I know I’m going to regret as soon as some yob posts a reply telling me he’s got a 12″ crank . . .

    But isn’t the real issue here our fucked up political culture?  It’s so vapid and stupid that it practically forces anybody BUT borderline narcissistic sociopaths out of public service.

    Except, possibly, at the local and state level.  Oh there are loads of them lurking in Wisconsin, to be sure. (Scott Walker, I’m looking at YOU!)  But a far smaller proportion.  And there are many notable exceptions.  Case in point:  Wisconsin state senator Bob Wirch and member of the heroic “Wisconsin 14.

    http://legis.wisconsin.gov/w3asp/contact/legislatorspages.aspx?house=Senate&district=22&display=bio

    Aside from his considerable merits as a legislator, he’s a member of BOTH the Polish Legion of American Veterans and the Danish Brotherhood.  Can you imagine a less outrageous social life (maybe even to the point of drabness) this side of some Garrison Keillor monologue?  Pretty far cry for tweeting nekkid pictures of hisself or discussing illegal political contributions and California vacations with the Koch brothers.

  • Liam_McGonagle

    Okay. . . Fighting the urge to indulge in some puerile joke that I know I’m going to regret as soon as some yob posts a reply telling me he’s got a 12″ crank . . .

    But isn’t the real issue here our fucked up political culture?  It’s so vapid and stupid that it practically forces anybody BUT borderline narcissistic sociopaths out of public service.

    Except, possibly, at the local and state level.  Oh there are loads of them lurking in Wisconsin, to be sure. (Scott Walker, I’m looking at YOU!)  But a far smaller proportion.  And there are many notable exceptions.  Case in point:  Wisconsin state senator Bob Wirch and member of the heroic “Wisconsin 14.

    http://legis.wisconsin.gov/w3asp/contact/legislatorspages.aspx?house=Senate&district=22&display=bio

    Aside from his considerable merits as a legislator, he’s a member of BOTH the Polish Legion of American Veterans and the Danish Brotherhood.  Can you imagine a less outrageous social life (maybe even to the point of drabness) this side of some Garrison Keillor monologue?  Pretty far cry for tweeting nekkid pictures of hisself or discussing illegal political contributions and California vacations with the Koch brothers.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_5CP7ED2OJWP2WRKAIRKKWFU6EQ Choice

    what makes me cry here is that there are VERY FEW politicians I’ve ever listened to that could put idiots in their place and explain complicated things so that I could understand them… Weiner, Eliot Spitzer, Bill Clinton, and John Kennedy come to mind… and if we had to judge them by their penis behavior, we’d never have had the benefit of their capabilities.  Instead we get morons like Dubya, Bachman, Palin and Frothy Santorum.  It’s no damn wonder we can never get anything fixed in our government !!!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_5CP7ED2OJWP2WRKAIRKKWFU6EQ Choice

    what makes me cry here is that there are VERY FEW politicians I’ve ever listened to that could put idiots in their place and explain complicated things so that I could understand them… Weiner, Eliot Spitzer, Bill Clinton, and John Kennedy come to mind… and if we had to judge them by their penis behavior, we’d never have had the benefit of their capabilities.  Instead we get morons like Dubya, Bachman, Palin and Frothy Santorum.  It’s no damn wonder we can never get anything fixed in our government !!!

    • Liam_McGonagle

      Yeah.  In my opinion, being a raging sexual pervert should not be a bar to effective public service.  You could say it shows that he’s a real ‘people’ person.

      And I’m not being completely ironic there, though that is my usual metier.  It is sick behaviour.  It just has nothing to do with his role as legislator.  I haven’t followed Weiner’s career much, but I don’t think he’s ever run on the Sky-Daddy-kill-all-the-unbelievers ticket.

  • PeterThePrinter

    To quote a kanye west song – runaway “she found pictures in my email, I sent this B$%^& a picture of my dick”

  • PeterThePrinter

    To quote a kanye west song – runaway “she found pictures in my email, I sent this B$%^& a picture of my dick”

    • GoodDoktorBad

      Yeah that Kanye, he so clever..

  • Anonymous

    Yeah.  In my opinion, being a raging sexual pervert should not be a bar to effective public service.  You could say it shows that he’s a real ‘people’ person.

    And I’m not being completely ironic there, though that is my usual metier.  It is sick behaviour.  It just has nothing to do with his role as legislator.  I haven’t followed Weiner’s career much, but I don’t think he’s ever run on the Sky-Daddy-kill-all-the-unbelievers ticket.

  • GoodDoktorBad

    Sorry, but I just can’t get past the fact that this guys name is Weiner. Scandals like this seem like they were custom written for TV news and bad movie scripts. It’s weird enough living in a country where our presidents name sounds so damn similar to our “now-dead” arch enemy Osama. 
    It just gets weirder by the minute up in here..

  • Anonymous

    Sorry, but I just can’t get past the fact that this guys name is Weiner. Scandals like this seem like they were custom written for TV news and bad movie scripts. It’s weird enough living in a country where our presidents name sounds so damn similar to our “now-dead” arch enemy Osama. 
    It just gets weirder by the minute up in here..

  • Anonymous

    Yeah that Kanye, he so clever..

  • Jennyjones

    This is Jack Morley’s tiny penis, measuring 3 inches when fully erect and one inch flaccid.  Send it to women who hate the small penis.

  • Jennyjones

    My ex, Jack Morley, has a whopping 3 inch erection.  Please feel free to distribute his picture.  Also, GOOGLE  “jack morley penis” for more pix.

  • wolf

    My dad was teddy Roosevelt  god son…. My Dad never remark about that. Yhe only story I heard was My dad had a hard time siting on his belly….

  • wolf

    My dad was teddy Roosevelt  god son…. My Dad never remark about that. Yhe only story I heard was My dad had a hard time siting on his belly….

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