Brokers With Hands On Their Faces

By on August 9, 2011 in News 21

In need of a pick-me-up? The Tumblr Brokers With Hands On Their Faces offers an unending stream of more-pleasing-than-lolcats shots of Wall Street brokers smooshing and contorting their faces in their hands as they “find out the latest numbers” or some such. I like to think that they just realized that money is an imaginary social construct and can scarcely believe what fools they’ve been.

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  • Anonymous

    Wait a minute.  That just doesn’t make sense.  I was just listening again to a podcast of NPR’s “Planet Money” where one of these drunken frat boys was telling Adam Davidson that brokers deserved to have their bailout at taxpayer expense because they’re all so much smarter than “reg’lar folk”.
     
    Oopth.  Magic bailout fairy’s teats is all dried up now, chief.

  • Anonymous

    Wait a minute.  That just doesn’t make sense.  I was just listening again to a podcast of NPR’s “Planet Money” where one of these drunken frat boys was telling Adam Davidson that brokers deserved to have their bailout at taxpayer expense because they’re all so much smarter than “reg’lar folk”.
     
    Oopth.  Magic bailout fairy’s teats is all dried up now, chief.

  • Anonymous

    Wait a minute.  That just doesn’t make sense.  I was just listening again to a podcast of NPR’s “Planet Money” where one of these drunken frat boys was telling Adam Davidson that brokers deserved to have their bailout at taxpayer expense because they’re all so much smarter than “reg’lar folk”.
     
    Oopth.  Magic bailout fairy’s teats is all dried up now, chief.

  • Surrealias

    LOL

  • Elifiknow

    Jump, fuckers.

  • Anonymous

    They should be begging for their lives in front of a firing detail.

  • Elifiknow

    Yes because it takes lotso smarts to navigate incredibly convoluted arbitrarily designed systems for making money magic its way into existence out of God’s butthole, just so they don’t have to do real work, like farming or manufacturing, or to actually help people.

  • DeepCough

    *financepalm*

  • Nunzio X

    How about a photo of a long line of brokers, naked on their hands and knees, each with his nose stuck up the ass of the broker in front of him in line?

    We could call it “Business On Parade.”

  • Anon

    not all of them are traders, some of them have jobs there just to execute orders and get their paycheck by commissions but the media loves posting shots of these during bad days to invoke the mood people want to feel. for all we know in the second pic someone told a really bad joke and the guy is smacking his head saying “c’mon people!”

  • Wanooski

    I like it, sounds avant garde.

  • http://buzzcoastin.posterous.com BuzzCoastin

    More media hype.  A true picture would have a room full of servers sad faced icons with on their control screens. Less than 10% of all stock trades are done by humans; most trades are machines trading with machines.

  • Anonymous

    i know several people who’d like to fist2face some of these homies.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jasonTwharton Jason Wharton

    The minions of the FIRE Lord (Finance, Insurance, & Real Estate) are in pain, lol. :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/jasonTwharton Jason Wharton

    The minions of the FIRE Lord (Finance, Insurance, & Real Estate) are in pain, lol. :)

  • Anonymous

    That’s an excellent point.  Sloan posted a good article about that phenom here about, maybe 8, 10 months ago.  At the time I wrote it off as no big thing, just another permutation on a long history of market gamesmanship.

    But that was really short sighted of me.  That “Blip Crash” or whatever they called it in May this year proved it.  Boy Einsteins at the quant department of the big trading houses had basically outsmarted themselves so badly that they had to call a halt to trading for a whole day to figure out what the hell went wrong.

    I’m not convinced they truly know exactly how they fucked up, but all the most recent explanations have to do with automated trading.  They originally tried to pin shit on some incompetent clerk in Chicago who didn’t know how to use a decimal point, but that shammy excuse was exposed pretty quickly.  It’s clearly the fault of a ridiculously opaque automated system.

    A system, it bears repeating for the thickos out there, that in no way resembles the Supernaturally Efficient and Moral Adam Smith Hand-of-God that dumbass Tea Partiers are trying to foist upon us.

  • Anonymous

    Then execute the machines as well.

  • Guest

    well, if you were smart enough to do it, you probably would too. who are you to define what “real work” is?  or are you saying that manual labor is work and intellectual labor is not?  i definitely don’t support these guys but come on… if you knew how to do it, you would.  plain and simple.  

  • Andrew

    Considering how things are going for them (not just the DOW, but how the stress is shortening their lifespans), I question how “smart” one has to be.

  • BBYrainwalker

    Almost makes you believe they’re losing their own money, rather than raking in the commissions as their clients are losing theirs.

  • Wanooski

    Not in a million fucking years. I am a human fucking being who lives on the same planet and has to face consequences of these idiots’ little games, that is who I am to define real work. I am someone who actually does it, not a parasite like these useless little scrotums. I am not some idiot capitalist shill that is so dumb to believe that simply earning money justifies my existence and that my true worth is defined by my paycheck. Grow up.