Great News, Everybody: A New (Secret) Bailout!

The Blind Leading The Blind

The Parable of the Blind. Pieter Bruegel (1568)

In Business Insider, scuttlebutt that German Chancellor Angela Merkel will be softening up Obama, Federal Reserve Chief Ben Bernanke and Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner for yet another round of bailouts for the incompetent multinational financial elites.

Awesome! I was afraid that the next round of bailouts would require “patriots” like representative Paul Ryan (R-Wisconsin) to take to the floor begging again. I feel so relieved now, knowing that the whole thing can proceed quietly without anyone having to jeopardize their campaign funding.

But where do our other, prospective “leaders” stand on this topic? Hard to say. Irrelevance and opacity seem to be the primary tenets of the major candidates’ PR machines. Here’s what I mean.

Ron Paul’s heart may be in the right place regarding the need to end counterproductive wars and pointlessly intrusive social wedge issues, but his knack for failing to identify urgent priorities remains unequalled. Witness the most recent update to his news page: Paul’s response to the burning issue of a vaguely worded email RECEIVED (i.e., NOT sent) by a third-tier lackey in the slave galley of Obama’s PR establishment. Yeah, I know. $527 million is 0.05% of the $1 TRILLION in bailout money supposedly at stake in the Euro bailout, but Ron’s never claimed to be more than what he clearly is:  an amateur.

Still, it was a bit of a disappointment. Those of us who had taken heart in the earnestness of Ron’s campaign do feel a little saddened by his betrayal of it’s core moral theme, that public figures should take firm stands on what they believe and know to be correct, regardless of the short-term pragmatic consequences. Ron doesn’t have and never had a snowball’s chance in Hell of winning anything other than honorable mention. But his piling on here to the failure of an innovative business venture, and one pioneering a technology that could threaten the petroleum-military complex at that, just feels like he’s gotten himself lost.  Hopelessly lost.

And that was the high ground, folks. The rest of the lot could either bore you with their predictability or make you laugh at their vapidity:

A quick visit to Michele Bachmann’s website yielded only her trumpeted zeal for “politicking” in Iowa. FYI to Bachmann:  You’re from Iowa.  You have home turf advantage. You already won the straw poll there last month.  Time to move on.  There’s another 49 states in the union, some of them with more than 1 electoral college vote.

Rick Perry’s site wasn’t a helluva lot better. True, he seems to have left last month behind him, but devil a word you’ll hear about the impending bailouts. He also spent all his gunpowder in low-grade partisan b*llshitting. G*ddamn it, at least Bachmann gave us a few laughs.  All Perry did was bore me to tears.

Mitt Romney’s response was a little more nuanced and amusing. Yes, no one is surprised that the much-vaunted hedge fund manager uttered not peep #1 about the use of public funds to underwrite his pals’ vacation homes in St. Tropez, or that he cleared his policy platform with these same scum bags. But did you know you could win a once-in-a-lifetime date with this Tiger Beat dreamboat?  I don’t know about you, but his flat, nasal automaton speech and “Reaganesque” elder statesman-y graying temples just make me melt. ‘Specially the way he says: “Corporations are people, too, my friend!”

No, you won’t hear much about Bailout III:  The Re-”Bush”-ening on any administration web site either.  Not the Fed. Not the Treasury. Not the president’s blog. Hardly much of a surprise. Obama’s always been an awkward, “play-behind-the-beat kind” of guy anyhow.  He seems continually caught off-guard by the way his bailouts, unconstitutional wars, plutocratic tax giveaways and civil rights violations have continued to erode the economy and the support of the people who voted for him in 2008.

But shouldn’t we expect more from his “challengers”? There should be no question of pragmatic compromises in order to achieve tactical victories, because going on the 4th year of 10%+ unemployment and simultaneously sky-rocketing unemployment claims and corporate profits, there’s really nothing left to compromise any more. Ergo a complete and overwhelming moral victory seems free for the taking.

Another tidal wave of tribulation from Dystopia Diaries

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  • Anonymous

    Oh my. Ron “Racist” Paul has been exposed as a fraud yet again.

  • Redacted

    Oh my. Ronny the Racist has been exposed as a fraud yet again.

    • Ianpc04

      Troll often   ?       please enlignten me how hes a racist. ,

       claiming some one is a racist  is a childs version of the political argument  ,  dont have footing to stand on? just claim your opponent is racist and then their credibility is shot.

       the democrat party does it all the time.

      whats the terms used most often ?   oh yes racist , rightwing , nutjob , crazy and other assorted catch words to smear someones name with….     you bore me go back to drinking the coolaid and watching obama, p.s  not to mention politico is not the most open minded website in the world and just like the many others that has been bought out .   

      dont believe me go ahead and look it over.   keep talking sheeple keep talking .

  • Mamagriff50

    Hey!…How about bailing me out?…Atleast I pay my taxes [more than my fair share]….Well?

  • Mamagriff50

    Hey!…How about bailing me out?…Atleast I pay my taxes [more than my fair share]….Well?

  • Anonymous

    Whoever wrote this hasn’t a clue. RP mentions the bailouts on an almost daily basis through his writings, news show appearances and at every debate that has happened so far…
    He has been against the bailouts since day one and continues to be outspoken about it at every chance.

    We must be talking about different people?

  • emc_0

    Whoever wrote this hasn’t a clue. RP mentions the bailouts on an almost daily basis through his writings, news show appearances and at every debate that has happened so far…
    He has been against the bailouts since day one and continues to be outspoken about it at every chance.

    We must be talking about different people?

    • Dip Buyer

      Clearly whoever is writing this drivel has motives. Normally, I’d just leave the group. But I’d rather countertroll this crap because it’s easy and I get a good laugh at it. My troubleshooting side wonders what has changed in the last couple weeks at Disinfo.

  • Okarin

    if the bailout doesn’t happen, send mastercard over

  • Okarin

    if the bailout doesn’t happen, send mastercard over

  • Ianpc04

    Troll often   ?       please enlignten me how hes a racist. ,

     claiming some one is a racist  is a childs version of the political argument  ,  dont have footing to stand on? just claim your opponent is racist and then their credibility is shot.

     the democrat party does it all the time.

    whats the terms used most often ?   oh yes racist , rightwing , nutjob , crazy and other assorted catch words to smear someones name with….     you bore me go back to drinking the coolaid and watching obama, p.s  not to mention politico is not the most open minded website in the world and just like the many others that has been bought out .   

    dont believe me go ahead and look it over.   keep talking sheeple keep talking .

  • Dip Buyer

    Clearly whoever is writing this drivel has motives. Normally, I’d just leave the group. But I’d rather countertroll this crap because it’s easy and I get a good laugh at it. My troubleshooting side wonders what has changed in the last couple weeks at Disinfo.