Jesus Was A Mushroom

By on November 3, 2011 in News 101

This must have been a mind-bending moment for many viewers. Ancient texts scholar and The Sacred Mushroom and the Cross author John Allegro informs the public know that, Jesus was, in fact, a mushroom. Why don’t I learn facts like this from television today?

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  • Kaedrich

    Holy fun guy?

  • DeepCough

    JesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesus–MUSHROOM, MUSHROOM!

  • http://twitter.com/consprcy_carrot Conspiracy Carrot

    I might pick up a little bag of Jesus for his birthday this year.

  • Anonymous

    I have my doubts.

  • Anonymous

    This ^ explains why the devils a snake.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Iam-Skycake/100001620503494 Iam Skycake

    Disinfo  -  What is the point of this ? 

    We know that ALL religion is the greatest DISINFO scam and scheme of all time.  All of your readers are past that. 

    Move on to relevant material.  We know jesus, krishna and god et al are all made up delusions – please focus and tackle the real ILLUSIONS of today. 

  • Irishpotatogun

    Then you’ve never eaten Jesus

  • justagirl

    imagine the masses to partake in communion..

  • Contra

    Religion may be a scam.  However, the fact that the entire universe is, in actually, one cohesive conscious being with pseudoinvidual parts that interplay amongst the whole when in fact they are the singular conscious being that some people call God, for which the name has become so stigmatized, is not a scam in the slightest.

  • Contra

    actuality*

  • Anti-Citizen1

    Of course! How did I not see that?!

  • Anti-Citizen1

    Of course! How did I not see that?!

  • http://twitter.com/jasonpaulhayes jasonpaulhayes

    According to several Contemporary Linguists there are Aramaic tests that talk about a Sacramental Mushroom grown in caves outside of Qumran called Jesus … but there is little mainstream discussion of Aramaic texts and their translations are highly debated as its a largely “dead language”.

  • something different

    even you typo was meant to be. When trying overturn someones statement its ok to leave a typo in at least it shows some humility

  • Toxiczen

    the metaphors withing the bible would certainly “make more sense” with the help of psilocybin cubensis…

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=773433966 Rus Archer

    psychedelics = hugely relevent to understanding both cultural and physical evolution, mind, consciousness, medicine, cognitive/social and political freedoms, you name it

    http://www.amanitashop.com/amanita-arthur/mankind1.htm

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qgMFO0KU-I

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kurt-Webb/53801531 Kurt Webb

    If you are interested in this, Allegro’s book ‘Sacred Mushroom and the Cross’ is very informative and thorough.  He traces phrases and names from the Christian texts back to Greek Semitic and Sumerian roots to explain their often sexual significance…After all these were ancient fertility cults.  Since it is so thorough, it can be a slow read, but at least it isn’t written in parables or King James’ English.

  • Myrandom

    ok .. this is beyond freaky. Listen to this, in my bed just smoked a joint and im feeling lucid.. Thinking about buying a growbox again and stock up on mushrooms.. 
    When i do my daily check on disinfo this texts shows “Jesus was a mushroom” and im like WHAT the hell. I riped that clip, i did that upload. thats my inactive youtube channal “soneonestolemynic”, that me alright. 
    If thats not a sign geting shrooms, I dont know what is. /random uploader

  • Anonymous

    So how many days have you been Atheist now?

  • Andrew

    If Jesus is a mushroom, I expect many Disinfonauts will become Christians.

  • ChristianHypocrite

    > We know that ALL religion is the greatest DISINFO scam and scheme of all time.  All of your readers are past that.

    No, you THINK you know that and that we all somehow agree with you.

    I think this submission is totally appropriate for DisInfo.

  • Anonymous

    Beautifully put. My sentiments entirely.

  • …

    glad to see other ppl get it

  • …

    glad to see other ppl get it

  • Eddieoh90

    I agree 100%. especially in this day and age, this guy John Allegro is legit, he is one of the original Dead Sea Scroll Scholars which are the earliest recorded documents of the Hebrew bible and is completely qualified to verify official historical christian doctorate.  The Dead Sea Scrolls have been intentionally covered up by the church and government because what they say is completely different from any other scrolls found.  You should read his book ‘The Dead Sea Scrolls and the Christian Myth’ before you start his book The Sacred Mushroom, it will make a lot more sense and you will start to advocate the use of psychedelics more because they push society and culture forward into new realms. 

    We all know religion is bullshit but the question of how human beings are ‘conscious’ and aware and able to question and reason logically is still a mystery, and one of the most interesting and unanswered ones.  I believe Terence McKenna’s research on the Stoned Ape Theory is interesting and suggests that apes who were forced into new food sources due to changing climate experimented with mushrooms growing in proto-cattle dug.  These mushrooms were known to have been in the area and known to contain psylocibin which he believes acts as an enzyme for cognitive thought that then catapulted us into consciousness.  He argues that the doubling of the human brain size in no less than 2 million years on the geological record is still one of the biggest mysteries anthropology has yet to answer.

  • balls are blue

    what the fuck are you talking about?

  • something different

    snaaaaaaake 

  • something different

    brilliant!

  • Anonymous

    I’ve eaten mushrooms a few times, and while one time I was convinced I was having telepathic conversations with God in one of these times…

    Well I think I just.. nevermind.

  • Big T

    Therefore, behold, the
    days come, saith the LORD, that it shall no more be said, The LORD
    liveth, that brought up the children of Israel out of the land of Egypt; But, The LORD liveth,
    that brought up the children of Israel from the land of the north, and
    from all the lands whither he had driven them: and I will bring them
    again into their land that I gave unto their fathers. (fulfilled in 1948)

    Jeremiah 16: 14-15 (6th century BC)

  • Anonymous

    Good talk bro.

  • Tuna Ghost

    There are…worse ideas about Jesus, certainly.  

  • Stumage

    Black and White makes everything Epic.

  • efoinl!

    Everyone seems gung-ho to accept this, and while I’m inclined to WANT to believe that was the intention or history of it, something tells me that this view may have some legitimate criticisms.  Anyone have any good links to both sides of any such debate? 

  • Monkey See Monkey Do

    whoa! Nicely put.

  • Monkey See Monkey Do

    Me too :)

  • Monkey See Monkey Do

    Freaky Alright. Get Growin! :)

  • TheYawningPreterist

    Self-fulfilled…

    *YAWN*

  • Simiantongue

    No, I don’t think you can conceive of what a god is, if there is such a thing as gods. The universe being a consciousness is hackneyed and vague at the same time. Anything you can conceive of I’m sure falls quite short of what gods would actually be. Hence, I do not believe in anything you conceive of as being god/s, that includes the idea of an all encompassing consciousness. This is not a criticism of you personally, not being able to conceive what a god may be. It’s just a circumstance of being human.

  • MetalMonkey

    i’ve never heard of this guy…  off to study…

  • http://www.ContraControl.com/ Zenc

    You don’t have any of the old school PF spores laying around still, do you?

  • Anonymous

    : ) I have a xmas tree with nothing but shroom ornaments. 

  • Iheartmushrooms

    Thank you for this entirely pointless quote.

    “But the bible says…”

  • Iheartmushrooms

    Me three. ;)

  • Misinformation

    Taking off on the work of Allegro, http://www.gnosticmedia.com do a video called, The Pharmacratic Inquisition. If you’re interested in this meme, the video is worth a watch. It’s available online.

  • Simiantongue

    Some more on this subject if anyone was interested.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFH21tS4WcE

  • Jon Montroy
  • Big T

    Amos 9:15
    And I will plant them upon their land, and they shall no more be pulled
    up out of their land which I have given them, saith the LORD thy God.

    1948 Arab-Israeli war – Egypt, Syria, Iraq, Lebanon, Saudi Arabian forces defeated (they lost on purpose?)
    6 days war – Egypt, Jordan, Syria defeated (they must have been in on the self fulfilled prophecy)
    Yom Kippur war 1973 – Egypt, Syria both backed by Russia defeated (in on the self fulfilled prophecy?)

  • Nottheone111

    LIES!

  • http://www.gunnook.com Cbirdsell

    Stems and capsGrant our passThrough the gateof sacred paths
    Stems and capsBend our mindsCrack this cage ofspace and time
    Stems and capsCall them forthBeings of theUnworldly sort
    Stems and capsBreak us throughFar fetched worldsOf mystic truths

  • http://www.gunnook.com Cbirdsell

    Stems and capsGrant our passThrough the gateof sacred paths
    Stems and capsBend our mindsCrack this cage ofspace and time
    Stems and capsCall them forthBeings of theUnworldly sort
    Stems and capsBreak us throughFar fetched worldsOf mystic truths

  • http://www.gunnook.com Cbirdsell

    Stems and capsGrant our passThrough the gateof sacred paths
    Stems and capsBend our mindsCrack this cage ofspace and time
    Stems and capsCall them forthBeings of theUnworldly sort
    Stems and capsBreak us throughFar fetched worldsOf mystic truths

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=773433966 Rus Archer
  • Anonymous

    Because your eating Portobellos

  • Crazy Ape Man

    Alien cross-breading is what caused our brains to grow. Don’t you watch the history channel? 

  • Gezinspace

    you are a genius!

  • Banana

    The family’s that helped write the Bible are the same family’s that control the outcome of wars. They are the same family’s that control politics and each nations foreign policy. The prophecy’s come true because they make them come true. Nothing magical there! 

    They have a plan they’ve been following for 2000+ years. maybe longer.  You might call this “God’s plan” and I’m sure they don’t mind that title. 

  • http://twitter.com/Shurmon_Aaron Aaron W. Shurmon

    wow. just…. ugh

  • Catfishdragon

    Don’t know much theology, but….. While trippin on some cyanescens, I found myself at an art deco church. Mosaic tiles made by children were embedded in the cement outside. The chalice (holy grail?) was everywhere. I thought: an old cap turns up and makes a cup. Before it is a cup it is phallic, after it goes concave it is feminine. It is 2 in 1 and makes 3 (trinity?). Jesus is a hermaphrodite, then. Baphomet is a hermaphrodite. Beyond good and evil. 

  • Cicadasilence

    As a worshiper of the mushroom, I find this offensive. 

  • Thereisnogodyoufool

    and st. peter was a rabbit, what’s you’re point

  • http://twitter.com/MiGaOh Michael G. O’Hair

    I thought God was in cow shit? No?

  • hbradish

     acintya bhedabheda: Inconceivable simultaneous oneness and difference.

  • Kurt Webb

    Allegro makes this song from “Gila Monster” make sense. The Lord said laugh. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siRaaXczANo&feature=related

  • CapnCanard

    Jesus is myth, a myth that is easy to intellectually absorb. Whereas consciousness is real as it is the only thing between you and nothingness, i.e. the void. If you pay attention you will  notice how all drugs that raise consciousness are reviled by those with Authoritarian fantasies?

  • Lennybruce

    A highly credible theory and one that has added significance for me being a advocate and one time sharer of the masses of cyanascens and libbos that I collected each winter.I already drew my conclusions about the significance of the DMT experience in relation to our ancient ancestors. It has been the biggest task set for themselves by the Freemasons to shut off all knowledge of self divinity and pineal activation.Having lost the functionality themselves through inhaling the pink stone-dust and lime powder used to build the pyramids, they gave birth to the psychopathic gene that demanded money, high status and power. So they wrote all of the beliefs and religions of that time down and have held them secret from us all these years. Those notes were then used to brainwash the people through religion and of course their own “Secret Society” and set about putting an end to individual God Consciousness by dampning down the brains of everyone else until today, when almost all have long forgotten that this essential part of the brain is the key to understanding life and the real mysteries of the universe. Proof positive is provided by the Masons themselves who, having got wind of my shamanic desire to enlighten as many as possible to the limitless possibilities of experience and understanding that derive from these little aliens, have put an end to my mission first of all by attending the huge liberty cap plantation that I discovered, in full fox-hunting regalia, despite the sports illegality, just to try to harrass me and inhibit my cropping. This year they have really done the job. They know my sites because they follow me everywhere and they have added something to the cyans patches that makes the experience unpleasant on the whole. I used to be able to feel and hear my pineal  gland cracking open as the mushrooms got to work. This year I just seem to get a severely magnetised brain and am subjected to mind control far more so than usual. I have given up with this years crop because I am not even getting close to where I was and like I say, it ain’t pleasant.

  • Idahogardengirl

    MAN = GOD (and unfortunately SATAN) … take care of our earth!  FUCK MONSANTO=SATAN!

  • bmxican

    Well, considering that Jesus was in fact a real person (we actually have records of his sentence and execution) and that he was at the very least, a religious leader. How anyone could suggest that he did not exist simply proves that they are able to convince themselves of any ball of crap. As long as they like it, they believe it.   

    • http://www.facebook.com/Greenleafstickybud Dylan Mathew Fenster

      The only source of the story of Jesus is a 2000 year old book that has been rewritten and edited many times. If you believe in Jesus, that is FAITH, not FACT.

      • bmxican

         No, you are mistaken. Jesus was a real person, written about in a few surviving bits outside of the Bible. Belief in him as a person is who walked around is not faith, it’s fact. If you want to disagree, that’s fine but it’s kind of like saying the flight at Kitty Hawk didn’t really happen either.

        • red_dragon132

           Where is your proof?

          • nernerner

             no proof to be had… no surprise either :/

        • gary

          actually, there is no evidence that jesus existed

    • NathanSpeller

      There are no such records…

      • bmxican

        Yeah, did you Wiki that?

        • nernerner

          let the theories follow the facts.  works everytime and ‘splains so much about the world when compared to sophisticated (mis)interpretations of some subjective experience.  try entheogens and see what I mean.

    • red_dragon132

       where are these records? cite one that does not come from a religious source.

    • nernerner

       I know the woman who makes these records… Juanita down the street, you know that bitch? I have driving licenses for sale too.. in fact, Jesus’s license, but you’re only permitted to ride mountain goat, sorry…

      • bmxican

         There are many sources, considering that the info is 2000 years old, many is really not THAT many. However most writings about Jesus from the period are from people who were not Christians, and considering Jesus was public enemy #1 to the Roman empire most were not favourable. But still to the point, talking about an actual existing person.
        Julius Africanus, writing around 221AD  Pliny the Younger (61-113AD)
        Mara Bar-Serapion (70AD)Lucian of Samosata: (115-200 A.D.) These were people with writings hostile to Jesus.

        • nernerner

           Well, Im not out to walk over your beliefs (because that is what they are) or disrespect your religious belief system (some elements of it are actually good for humankind) but I would encourage a little skepticism in matters of transgenerational hand-me-down bits of information.  Seriously though, investing so much of your time devoted to sentimental feelings of warm fuzziness in the form of half-truths and neon signs of insecurity (by way of indoctrinated regurgitation) is a great waste of your life! I assume too much.  Maybe you are comfortable, maybe you’re an academic teaching theology to seminarians, maybe it’s your hobby (hobbies usually cost $$ whereas having an interest doesn’t).  The greatest piece of advice is this: Don’t worry about the past, deities are emailing and websurfing like the rest of us, p’haps thats why no prayers are answered!?!?

          • bmxican

            Can I suggest that there is one important decision you will have to make over your life span. Is there life after death? If you think there MAY be, then you may want to look into it and decide what works for you. Do I trust the Bible? Yes, it has been around for quite a while and has had THOUSANDS of people try to prove it bunk and have simply failed. The Bible has been proven to be a reliable historically accurate text and if not for the religious aspect would still be used to teach in schools. The religious aspect is the ONLY reason people discount it.  Evolution however has been shot full of holes and rethought so many times it’s a joke. The fact that it is taught in schools is embarrassing. As far as answering prayers, it’s a matter of opinion. My little girl sufferd from “NAIT”. A normal healthy platelet count is 150,000-400,000/ml. My daughter was born with a platelet count of 6/ml. Babies with this will often not survive full term and often die during birth. First pregnancies seem to be about 50/50 odds of survival and I have not heard of another baby born with a platelet count as low as her. She was taken to MacMaster teaching hospital one (of two) the best blood hospitals in the world (the other in Australia) They did not even think it was possible to survive with a platelet count so low. Call it what you will, it was an answer to my prayer. The mistake is thinking GOD, is Santa.

          • nernerner

             That’s great news, Im happy your child is well after such a threatening event, as are you! You see, there will always be indifference and ambiguity of prose if it’s human’s levying the arguments to religion and humans defending it.  The reason being, is that humans invented it.  Sadly, religion has not taught me any useful method of measuring what I see and it only postulates theories with zero evidence.  You say prayer causes a biological response in another individual, but I know the human body does not work that way; telepathy is not real, neither is santa claus.  Be happy for what you have Peace :)

          • bmxican

            You know the way the human body works? I have a hard time with that. You may know some things but you don’t know all. And I never said that MY prayer caused a response. If I ask some one to do something, is that the same as me doing it myself?

          • http://facebook.com/the.real.lafayette Lafayette Moore

            Such an amazing answer!

      • Nb_hc14

        i remember that bitch

    • Efrique

       > (we actually have records of his sentence and execution)

      where, exactly, are these records? 

      • Mitchell F.

        The Jewish historian Josephus wrote of the religious leader being executed by the Romans on the cross. Not a lot of details but it has been written about by an outside source.

        • Monkey See Monkey Do

          Josephus’s book was written in 93–94 AD, long after the suppossed ‘execution of Jesus’. He mentions him twice vey briefly. It’s really not the best evidence for a physically existing Jesus.

          Jesus was obviously a ‘percieved deity’ bought on by a psychedelic experience. Same with the perceptions of Moses, Buddha, Krishna, Ganesh, Shiva etc. Perhaps they were collective realizations that were retrospectively personified.

    • guest

      yes we have records that we was alive that were written down over 40 years past his so called death there are no records of the man during this lifetime so it is very likely that he was never even real. till records of him during his life time are found then no he was not in fact a real person. but in fact a made up figure head for a new religion. 

  • bmxican

    Families that helped write the bible? You mean the Apostles? The “simple fishermen” and the lawyer ect ect… That all spread like scared mice when Jesus died, then three days later were so changed they all went to their graves because of their claims?

  • BellsNwhistles

    the bible was assembled to teach us Judaism.

  • Jmaway

    The are many extra-biblical texts that show a record of a man named Jesus from Nazareth, a man named Paul from Tarsus, A house belonging to Peter…list goes on.  Anyone who states otherwise has simply not done their research and would rather believe a lie. 

  • Someguy

    Am I on shrooms? Or am I reading about Jesus being a Shroom?

  • nernerner

     I do this every year.. I place our porcelain and otherwise mushroom ornaments under the tree, where they’re supposed to be. 

  • Greenmario1RBLX

    No….Just no.

  • Druid Ozone

     Obviously, not too many folks know the details of this extremely important story. Please allow me to shed some light on this subject. I can only imagine how hard it must have been for  brilliant Oxford Professor, world’s foremost expert in Aramaic (the dead language that Jesus spoke and that the Dead Sea Scrolls were written in,) John Marco Allegro to try to explain the fact that Jesus actually was a slang word for mushrooms to people who are as dumb as rocks and definitely do not want to believe what he has to say, no matter what the evidence.
     In 1947 in a cave at Qumran the scrolls were discovered at the location of the ESSENE commune, where Jesus was supposed to have been the head priest, or christ, teacher of righteousness, and these scrolls were from the period of the Jewish revolt against Rome, when ‘Jesus’  was supposed to have been there. The reason why this is so important is that these 2000 year old copies of books of the bible are about 1000 years older than any other copies of the bible that exist. Maybe over the course of that first 1000 years some things might have been changed or left out by the people copying the bible, kind of like maybe the holy sacrament wasn’t the same little cardboard wafer they give you in church today, if you know what I mean.
     The Pope appointed a team of 12 ‘scholars’ to translate the newly discovered scrolls, and fortunately made Allegro head of the team, with the other 11 guys basically church affiliated scholars who were biased against anything that might rock the christian boat. They were all in a big room together piecing the various scrolls and fragments back together. Allegro published the results of the sections that he was given to translate, but nobody else published anything, and later Allegro wrote the Sacred Mushroom and the Cross. FORTY years later, around 1987, I actually remember the hubbub that was made by a group of very old bible scholars who wanted to LOOK at the dead sea scrolls for themselves, as they had never been given a chance to see them for FORTY years, and they were getting so old they were going to die soon. So why did the church not want anyone to see these scrolls for forty years. Sounds kind of weird like a cover up or that they were trying to hide something, doesn’t it?
     What Allegro says in The Sacred Mushroom and the Cross, in a nutshell, in my humble opinion, is that the mystic writers of the bible used the word Jesus as a name to personify the head priest because it illustrated the short and the long path to god. During the 100 year historical period known as the Jewish Revolt Against Rome, there were 3 great Christs, or teachers of righteousness, head priests of the Essenes who were born about 100 b.c, 60 b.c. and 33 b.c. One or more of them may have travelled to India, perhaps during their ‘lost years,’ as there seem to be some records of his visit there. So there were actually 3 men who were the composite role model of the Christ, and they gave him the name “Jesus,” which was slang for psychedelic mushrooms, because you could study and train for 20 years to become the head priest, and get real close to god like that, or you could eat some mushrooms, and get real close to god like that. GET IT? Of course if you’re not, as Jimi Hendryx said, ‘Experienced,’  then you probably don’t get it and never will. Sorry about that! ITS THE SHORT AND THE LONG PATH TO GOD. Allegro wrote in this book extensively about word origins, and also about fertility and mushrooms coming up from rain, and lots of other great stuff, but if you just want to read the first 30 pages, you will get the whole picture. He also wrote a sequel, The End of a Road, which almost nobody knows about, sadly for our dumb human race.
     Thanks to the Vatican Mafia P2 and the CIA buying up every copy of the book they can get their hands on to destroy, its sort of a rare book, but you can still buy one. As an aside, the word ZEALOT derives from ‘mushroom frenzy,’ and it is said that even Mohammed was known to have met with early Christian Zealots who were still practicing the old fashioned way. Religion is funny. The black stone at Mecca was originally worshipped as the pubic mound of the great mother goddess, and Allah was derived from Allat who was part of the sacred trinity of maiden mother and crone. All Christians need to check out the statues of Isis and her baby Horus, and keep in mind that the ancient Greeks acknowledged that everything they knew came from Egypt despite the  18th century racist slaveholders trying to convince everybody that classical  western civilization did not come from black people.The gods of my ancestors in northern Europe for many thousands of years are now known simply as ‘the devil.’ go figgur

  • Mitchell F.

    “The Dead Sea Scrolls have been intentionally covered up by the church and government because what they say is completely different from any other scrolls found.”

    That is a huge crock of shiat! The Dead Sea Scrolls can be viewed on the internet dunce…….at least the ones that have been translated. I have read books from the scrolls many times. Maybe you should research it a bit. They are different from the Bible in many ways but the Church is not covering up anything. There are a ton of religous writings that were kept out of the Bible does not mean the church is hiding them.

  • Mitchell F.

    Where is Allegro’s proof? He just makes insane statements and you take it as fact. His theory is not only idiotic it should be embarassing for anyone to take anything this guy writes or says seriously. But some of you are so easy influenced by anything that is different than the status quo.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anna-Hoopengardner/100001712585932 Anna Hoopengardner

    Christians tell other religions that their gods don’t exist all the time. They have killed thousands for disagreeing and not wanting to share the same beliefs. So why is it so offensive to be told yours is not, it’s just an opinion. for the record though, i don’t think he was a mushroom and i’ll leave it at that.

  • sharon

    I think was was a man who knew change was needed considering how the Romans were ruling, and as we all know all great men that want a change from “control” and either one was rich or poor” “rulers or slaves”, and posed a threat were Killed.  Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Jesus.  History books are written about them all.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/KRNMBNBPA3RVGCUO6JYH4YLHDI Korious

     Portobellos ; the Judas of mushrooms