President Pardons Thanksgiving Turkey; Murders U.S. Citizen Without Trial

Talk about your empty gestures. For seriously now, Eli, how do you expect to retain your own credibility after tolerating shenannigans like this?

More heedless heresy, from the usual suspects at: Dystopia Diaries

Latest posts by Liam McGonagle (see all)

38 Comments on "President Pardons Thanksgiving Turkey; Murders U.S. Citizen Without Trial"

  1. Anonymous | Nov 23, 2011 at 8:18 pm |

    The turkey committed no crime to begin with, so the gesture is doubly empty. Laugh it up…..

  2. Anonymous | Nov 23, 2011 at 8:18 pm |

    The turkey committed no crime to begin with, so the gesture is doubly empty. Laugh it up…..

  3. GoodDoktorBad | Nov 23, 2011 at 4:18 pm |

    The turkey committed no crime to begin with, so the gesture is doubly empty. Laugh it up…..

  4. Anarchy Pony | Nov 23, 2011 at 8:23 pm |

    True enough. Absolutely pathetic. But being a non human organism, it’s crime is daring to be alive.

  5. Anarchy Pony | Nov 23, 2011 at 8:23 pm |

    True enough. Absolutely pathetic. But being a non human organism, it’s crime is daring to be alive.

  6. Anonymous | Nov 23, 2011 at 8:48 pm |

    It’s crime is being delicious….

  7. Anonymous | Nov 23, 2011 at 9:05 pm |

    Mmmm Turkey…. *insert image of Homer Simpson here*

  8. Mysophobe | Nov 23, 2011 at 9:13 pm |

    If Ben Franklin had had his way, the fierce American wild turkey would be our protected national symbol instead of the cowardly bald eagle. Mmm, oven roasted bald eagle with gravy and stuffing… Also, assassinating American citizens without a court trial should be illegal. What’s that, It’s already illegal? Huh. I guess we now have to try two administrations for war crimes, if and when we ever regain our sanity.

  9. Mysophobe | Nov 23, 2011 at 5:13 pm |

    If Ben Franklin had had his way, the fierce American wild turkey would be our protected national symbol instead of the cowardly bald eagle. Mmm, oven roasted bald eagle with gravy and stuffing… Also, assassinating American citizens without a court trial should be illegal. What’s that, It’s already illegal? Huh. I guess we now have to try two administrations for war crimes, if and when we ever regain our sanity.

  10. Anonymous | Nov 23, 2011 at 9:31 pm |

    You lot had better stay away from my cat.

  11. Anonymous | Nov 23, 2011 at 9:31 pm |

    Turkey tastes like shit anyway.

  12. Turkey tastes like shit anyway.

  13. Anarchy Pony | Nov 23, 2011 at 10:15 pm |

    Blasphemy!

  14. they named the turkey liberty&peace?
    and they’ll kill and eat it?if that’s not symbolic…

  15. Rus Archer | Nov 23, 2011 at 6:39 pm |

    they named the turkey liberty&peace?
    and they’ll kill and eat it?if that’s not symbolic…

  16. nothing warms my heart quite like nervous fake laughter…god bless america…

  17. nothing warms my heart quite like nervous fake laughter…god bless america…

  18. A “tradition” this stupid could only have been “invented” by George Bush Sr. But it’s even stupider to repeat it.

  19. A “tradition” this stupid could only have been “invented” by George Bush Sr. But it’s even stupider to repeat it.

  20. Jin Onikoroshi | Nov 24, 2011 at 1:26 pm |

    only really traditional chinese and mongolian people eat “tiger” so i think you’ll be safe:p

  21. How do you know what shit tastes like?

  22. Anonymous | Nov 24, 2011 at 5:47 pm |

    I imagine its something like how you smell.

  23. Anonymous | Nov 24, 2011 at 7:12 pm |

    Chinese people are so tiny that a housecat must look like a Tiger.

    Oh yeah, I went there.

  24. Jin Onikoroshi | Nov 24, 2011 at 7:30 pm |

    lol s’ok. i give u a free pass. but next time you’ll taste the raw power of my chinese gongfu….

  25. Rodneypopper | Nov 25, 2011 at 10:57 am |

    Gobble without saying anything?… Sounds like the President!
    And to call these future dead things “Liberty & Peace” is like calling Americans Libertarian and Peaceful!
    Ha!  Liberty and peace in america are as dead as the 2 birds! The way the 2 young girls touched the bird was the way they would touch an Afghan detainee… EEEW!
    America is dead and someone has to admit it!

  26. Rodneypopper | Nov 25, 2011 at 6:57 am |

    Gobble without saying anything?… Sounds like the President!
    And to call these future dead things “Liberty & Peace” is like calling Americans Libertarian and Peaceful!
    Ha!  Liberty and peace in america are as dead as the 2 birds! The way the 2 young girls touched the bird was the way they would touch an Afghan detainee… EEEW!
    America is dead and someone has to admit it!

  27. Cha-Ching! | Nov 25, 2011 at 12:26 pm |

    Oh shit bro!!!!!!!!

Comments are closed.