Laptop Wi-Fi Said to Nuke Sperm …?

Destroy SpermReports Reuters via Yahoo News:

The digital age has left men’s nether parts in a squeeze, if you believe the latest science on semen, laptops and wireless connections. In a report in the venerable medical journal Fertility and Sterility, Argentinian scientists describe how they got semen samples from 29 healthy men, placed a few drops under a laptop connected to the Internet via Wi-Fi and then hit download.

Four hours later, the semen was, eh, well-done. A quarter of the sperm were no longer swimming around, for instance, compared to just 14 percent from semen samples stored at the same temperature away from the computer.

And nine percent of the sperm showed DNA damage, three-fold more than the comparison samples. The culprit? Electromagnetic radiation generated during wireless communication, say Conrado Avendano of Nascentis Medicina Reproductiva in Cordoba and colleagues.

Read More: Reuters via Yahoo News

32 Comments on "Laptop Wi-Fi Said to Nuke Sperm …?"

  1. DeepCough | Dec 2, 2011 at 4:52 am |

    Well, shit, I guess those crazy people who think Wi-Fi is making them deleteriously ill were right to move up to the mountains.

  2. DeepCough | Dec 2, 2011 at 12:52 am |

    Well, shit, I guess those crazy people who think Wi-Fi is making them deleteriously ill were right to move up to the mountains.

    • You guys heard about Smart Meters? I’ve heard Children are becoming sick in school as well because of Wi-Fi.  We are what we eat after all.  

  3. This is NOT how you clone cyborgs…sheesh

  4. This is NOT how you clone cyborgs…sheesh

  5. Anarchy Pony | Dec 2, 2011 at 5:29 am |

    Well fallout from fukushima has probably already rendered my boys inert. So tomato, tomahto.

  6. Anarchy Pony | Dec 2, 2011 at 1:29 am |

    Well fallout from fukushima has probably already rendered my boys inert. So tomato, tomahto.

  7. losing my religion | Dec 2, 2011 at 5:49 am |

    My sperm are tired, now I know why. It didn’t have nothing to do with the drinking and drugging. Bastards!

  8. losing my religion | Dec 2, 2011 at 1:49 am |

    My sperm are tired, now I know why. It didn’t have nothing to do with the drinking and drugging. Bastards!

  9. Anonymous | Dec 2, 2011 at 7:20 am |

    moving my laptop off my lap………right now

    I just had an idea though….a wi-fi blocking cup?

  10. MoralDrift | Dec 2, 2011 at 3:20 am |

    moving my laptop off my lap………right now

    I just had an idea though….a wi-fi blocking cup?

  11. it’s a form of digital contraception
    WiFi kills all the FAP spew

    i’d like to hear a recording of the conversation
    that spawned this experiment

  12. BuzzCoastin | Dec 2, 2011 at 5:37 am |

    it’s a form of digital contraception
    WiFi kills all the FAP spew

    i’d like to hear a recording of the conversation
    that spawned this experiment

  13. Anonymous | Dec 2, 2011 at 1:35 pm |

    http://www.drct.com/brachytherapy/brachytherapy.htm here you go.
    Though I think a cup lined with alternate layers of lead sheet and copper foil is a great idea…wonder what the TSA would make of that?

  14. Zillions of sperm are lost every year because of wireless internet, but this isn’t why.

    Clearly you should never blow your load directly underneath your laptop. Especially if you actually intended to impregnate someone. Or ever use that laptop again.

    Remember kids, don’t let your sperm be irradiated by electromagnetic waves. Let them instead suffer a cold, prolonged death on your computer room floor.

  15. Zillions of sperm are lost every year because of wireless internet, but this isn’t why.

    Clearly you should never blow your load directly underneath your laptop. Especially if you actually intended to impregnate someone. Or ever use that laptop again.

    Remember kids, don’t let your sperm be irradiated by electromagnetic waves. Let them instead suffer a cold, prolonged death on your computer room floor.

  16. It doesn’t say if they controlled the heat in this article, but I am assuming they would have considered that since heat is the number one sperm killer, I am looking at you whitey-tighty wearers. Let the jewels breathe and you will conceive I always say. 

  17. It doesn’t say if they controlled the heat in this article, but I am assuming they would have considered that since heat is the number one sperm killer, I am looking at you whitey-tighty wearers. Let the jewels breathe and you will conceive I always say. 

  18. It doesn’t say if they controlled the heat in this article, but I am assuming they would have considered that since heat is the number one sperm killer, I am looking at you whitey-tighty wearers. Let the jewels breathe and you will conceive I always say. 

  19. It doesn’t say if they controlled the heat in this article, but I am assuming they would have considered that since heat is the number one sperm killer, I am looking at you whitey-tighty wearers. Let the jewels breathe and you will conceive I always say. 

  20. It doesn’t say if they controlled the heat in this article, but I am assuming they would have considered that since heat is the number one sperm killer, I am looking at you whitey-tighty wearers. Let the jewels breathe and you will conceive I always say. 

  21. It doesn’t say if they controlled the heat in this article, but I am assuming they would have considered that since heat is the number one sperm killer, I am looking at you whitey-tighty wearers. Let the jewels breathe and you will conceive I always say. 

  22. Anarchy Pony | Dec 3, 2011 at 12:16 am |

    Probably that you are a lefty terrorist scumbag, and get down, and hands behind your head! Code orange! Code orange!

  23. Haystack | Dec 3, 2011 at 6:43 am |

    In the interest of scientific rigor, I tried to replicate these results. Now my laptop is pregnant. What should I do? 

  24. Haystack | Dec 3, 2011 at 2:43 am |

    In the interest of scientific rigor, I tried to replicate these results. Now my laptop is pregnant. What should I do? 

  25. Camron Wiltshire | Dec 3, 2011 at 12:57 pm |

    You guys heard about Smart Meters? I’ve heard Children are becoming sick in school as well because of Wi-Fi.  We are what we eat after all.  

  26. Michael Moody | Dec 4, 2011 at 5:42 am |

    Tinfoil it’s helps with your little head too.

  27. Anonymous | Dec 4, 2011 at 6:39 am |

    No, research shows foil hats cause a 20-30db amplification of US gov’t band transmission frequencies
    http://berkeley.intel-research.net/arahimi/helmet/
    I prefer transcranial magnetic stimulation to keep my less social urges at bay.

Comments are closed.