The Jesus Toaster Makes Food Miracles

Every believer has seen the videos of the Virgin Mary appearing in the form of a Cheeto or a linen stain and secretly hopes for an uncanny sign that will validate their faith — that’s why the Jesus Toaster is the perfect Christmas gift. Now anyone can have the rapturous joy of witnessing the Lord appear in their morning toast:

toaster

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  • Gregory Wyrdmaven

    I love how these Xians take their faith so seriously.

  • Gregory Wyrdmaven

    I love how these Xians take their faith so seriously.

  • DeepCough

    This is America: I like my Communion wine cold and my Host (bread) toasted.

  • DeepCough

    This is America: I like my Communion wine cold and my Host (bread) toasted.

  • Jim

    Oh, I just love melted butter and peanut butter on toast. 

  • Jim

    Oh, I just love melted butter and peanut butter on toast. 

  • guest

    These are humor. Same company makes ‘peace’ toasters and ‘pot leaf’ toasters.

  • guest

    These are humor. Same company makes ‘peace’ toasters and ‘pot leaf’ toasters.

  • justagirl

    hey sweet!  now i can have the grilled cheesus i always wanted.  

  • justagirl

    hey sweet!  now i can have the grilled cheesus i always wanted.  

  • justagirl

    hey sweet!  now i can have the grilled cheesus i always wanted.  

  • will

    I want to buy one and change the case and repackage it to look like any toaster. Then give it to my religious mother as a gift.

  • will

    I want to buy one and change the case and repackage it to look like any toaster. Then give it to my religious mother as a gift.

  • Heigtch

    “Every believer has seen the videos of the Virgin Mary appearing in the
    form of a Cheeto or a linen stain and secretly hopes for an uncanny sign
    that will validate their faith”

    Yes! Let’s lump everyone into cheap stereotypes some more.
    Schmucks.

    This toaster is pretty funny though.

  • Heigtch

    “Every believer has seen the videos of the Virgin Mary appearing in the
    form of a Cheeto or a linen stain and secretly hopes for an uncanny sign
    that will validate their faith”

    Yes! Let’s lump everyone into cheap stereotypes some more.
    Schmucks.

    This toaster is pretty funny though.

  • Heigtch

    “Every believer has seen the videos of the Virgin Mary appearing in the
    form of a Cheeto or a linen stain and secretly hopes for an uncanny sign
    that will validate their faith”

    Yes! Let’s lump everyone into cheap stereotypes some more.
    Schmucks.

    This toaster is pretty funny though.

  • Heigtch

    “Every believer has seen the videos of the Virgin Mary appearing in the
    form of a Cheeto or a linen stain and secretly hopes for an uncanny sign
    that will validate their faith”

    Yes! Let’s lump everyone into cheap stereotypes some more.
    Schmucks.

    This toaster is pretty funny though.

  • Damonblut

    Why can’t they have one with Satan and a pentagram or inverted cross or something? 

  • Damonblut

    Why can’t they have one with Satan and a pentagram or inverted cross or something? 

  • Alaskasue

    Ah yes, a rapturous gift indeed.  I’ll have to order several
     

  • Alaskasue

    Ah yes, a rapturous gift indeed.  I’ll have to order several
     

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