Dirk Diggler Could Have Stopped 9/11

Dirk DigglerVia WashPo:

The “Contraband” actor, who was actually scheduled to be on one of the planes that crashed, said:

If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn’t have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, ‘OK, we’re going to land somewhere safely, don’t worry.’

Now you may be thinking, as I did, “This quote must have been taken out of context!” Nope, not really.

Read More: Washington Post

17 Comments on "Dirk Diggler Could Have Stopped 9/11"

  1. Man that guy is just too awesome. It’s a real shame he wasn’t on his scheduled flight, he might have saved alot of lives. Or at least died trying…. Or at least pissed himself thinking about trying to stop the highjackers before dying.

  2. Yes, of course!
    The planes were hi-jacked by terrorists with box cutters.
    And then flown by said terrorists into buildings which fell down due to fire.

    Simple as that.

    Sorry, I forgot.

  3. Isn’t he one of those Hollywood hobbits? Everything looks bigger on the big screen, including, it seems, Wahlberg’s cranial capacity. You know, maybe he would do something but…hey, Mr Action Hero, right now just think of the families that lost people in those flights. They don’t need someone who dresses up and play acts for a living confusing his pretending with actually dealing with a real life situation.

    But, of course, he is a hard man. Didn’t he, like, beat up a gay man or something?

    Another example of why actors should only open their mouths when they have a script.

  4. Wow, the WP entertainment section is incredibly dumb.

    • gwen jackson | Jan 20, 2012 at 5:35 pm |

      lol, did you see they still have the “Lost” hub as one of their first and most prominent sections? someone should tell them it went off the air a couple years ago…

  5. How does one stay relevant these days? Become a legend in your own mind by fabricating a “what if” scenario.

    edit: Break it Down Marky Mark!


  6. Mark Wahlberg couldn’t have stopped the terrorists. But for Dirk Diggler, it would have been easy. Just pull down his pants.

  7. Irish Potato Gun | Jan 19, 2012 at 11:45 am |

    He’s so handsome he could even stop planes from being controlled by remote.

  8. Who Mark Wahlberg thinks he is? Chuck Norris?

  9. Liam_McGonagle | Jan 19, 2012 at 2:13 pm |

    Funnily enough, I DID thwart 9/11, in an alternate reality.

    Weird thing about it, Rick Perry was the mastermind behind the whole thing all along.  “Bizarro Rick”‘s a lot smarter than his counterpart in this world.

  10. Who told Marky Mark not to take that flight!?

  11. Apathesis | Jan 19, 2012 at 6:29 pm |

    Mark Wahlberg is from Dorchester.  And he is Irish.  That’s a recipe for being a hard-ass prone to getting into fisticuffs, as he did as a youth.  And not only that, they don’t take bullshit.  My drummer was from Dot, almost everyone on his street was related, and none of them took any crap without handing it right back twofold.

    Don’t doubt a feisty Hibernian.

  12. Pain buys the strongest Chuck Norris killers money can buy.

    Sorry, I actually hate Chuck Norris facts, but that just popped into my head recently.

  13. gwen jackson | Jan 20, 2012 at 5:41 am |

    Isn’t this the douchebag “Entourage” was based on?  What an idiot. Just think, the hijackers could’ve spared us this stain on our culture. If only.

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