Mountain Dew Will Dissolve Rats On Contact

Mountain DewIf you like soft drinks the way I do, that is, looking like my conception of nuclear waste, this is really good news. From the Smoking Gun:

Defending itself from a lawsuit claiming that an Illinois man found a dead mouse inside a can of Mountain Dew, PepsiCo contends that a rodent would have disintegrated and been transformed into a “jelly-like” substance between the time of the soft drink’s bottling and the day the plaintiff reportedly purchased the soda from a vending machine at his office.

In a court response to a motion filed by Ronald Ball–who claims to have found the dead mouse in a Mountain Dew can about three years ago–PepsiCo filed a fascinating/revolting affidavit from Lawrence McGill, a veterinarian who noted that he was “familiar with the effects an acidic fluid, such as common soda drinks including Mountain Dew, will have on mice and other animals.”

According to McGill, if a mouse is submerged in Mountain Dew between four and seven days, the rodent “will have no calcium in its bones and bony structures.” During those days of soft drink immersion, “the mouse’s abdominal structure will rupture.” Additionally, “its cranial cavity (head) is also likely to rupture within that time period,” McGill noted.

Read More: Smoking Gun

52 Comments on "Mountain Dew Will Dissolve Rats On Contact"

  1. Well no kidding–that’s four to seven days of total submersion.  And a smaller animal.  Actually, maybe even longer submersion if the guy found a rat in a sealed can and all–in which case, DERP.

  2. Jin (仁) | Jan 11, 2012 at 7:26 am |

    this makes me feel vindicated for growing up with a crazed macrobiotic parent who never let us drink soda.

  3. Jin The Ninja | Jan 11, 2012 at 3:26 am |

    this makes me feel vindicated for growing up with a crazed macrobiotic parent who never let us drink soda.

  4. DERP. OK, Let me know if Coke, Pepsi, Sprite, 7-UP, Fanta, RC Cola, Ginger Ale, Tab, Coke Zero, Diet Coke, Diet Pepsi, Pepsi MAX, Coke Zero … we can list soft drinks all day … knock yourself out Mr. Wizard / Bill Nye …

  5. Hadrian999 | Jan 11, 2012 at 7:35 am |

    that which does not kill you….

  6. Hadrian999 | Jan 11, 2012 at 3:35 am |

    that which does not kill you….

  7. They’re soft drinks!  Of course they’re not good all the time, but people are still gonna drink it!  This story is rehashed common sense, RALPH.  You submerge a small animal in a heaping amount of soda, not only does it drown but it disintegrates because of the ingredients!

    You publish this story without taking into account how strong our digestive tracts are.  We have stomach acid to neutralize any foul agents that would otherwise make us sick, and our stomachs are lined for protection.  No need to go mocking me RALPH, managing editor of Disinformation, for having a conflicting view on the matter.

  8. Well, DERP. What does that mean again?

    Internet slang like that is for people who have no interest in conversation.

  9. Well I gotta say it’s mature of you to try ending a comment thread that way, when you’re the one who shot back in the first place–all because I disagreed with you.

  10. Use normal words and you will have respect. Act like a troll and do not be surprised.

  11. Not worth my time …

  12. Good.  Wasn’t expecting to be anyway. 🙂

  13. DERP is a flag for some nasty people nowadays. You have a head on your shoulders obviously. So I need to do other things at Disinfo then chime into the website right now (which BTW other people have taken care of lately).

    Appreciate the back and forth.

  14. No problem Ralph, keep up the good work!  I do love checking out your articles.

  15. I guess, I am still not hip to all this “internet” conversation thing, which to me is still is not a substitute for the real thing.

    Or I have a lot of issues with the amount of Mountain Dew I have consumed since birth.

    Let’s go with the latter …

  16. Makes you able to dissolve vermin in your liquids …

  17. My mistake and the confusion I have with DERP … it is a stupid internet expression. Thanks again for your conversation.

  18. De business man needs a new necktie…and a sturdy tree….f f f ffaaag

  19. …will not make you dead??

  20. > Mountain Dew Will Dissolve Rats On Contact

    Do the Dew
    i’m sending a case to to every member of Congress and to the CIA
    let’s just see if the claim is true
    that would be DEWmocracy in action

    like, if you offer Obummer a MTN Dew
    is that considered a threat to the prez?

    MTN Dew
    the new Koolaid 
    only more lethal

    ok, let me take another sip of MTN Dew
    and get back atcha

  21. BuzzCoastin | Jan 11, 2012 at 6:42 am |

    > Mountain Dew Will Dissolve Rats On Contact

    Do the Dew
    i’m sending a case to to every member of Congress and to the CIA
    let’s just see if the claim is true
    that would be DEWmocracy in action

    like, if you offer Obummer a MTN Dew
    is that considered a threat to the prez?

    MTN Dew
    the new Koolaid 
    only more lethal

    ok, let me take another sip of MTN Dew
    and get back atcha

  22. Anonymous | Jan 11, 2012 at 1:19 pm |

    may leave you maimed and crippled.

  23. Anonymous | Jan 11, 2012 at 1:43 pm |

    How does this surprise people.  It wasn’t that long ago that they made a big deal about coca cola syrup being able to dissolve steaks and clean engine grease.

  24. How does this surprise people.  It wasn’t that long ago that they made a big deal about coca cola syrup being able to dissolve steaks and clean engine grease.

  25. DeepCough | Jan 11, 2012 at 5:05 pm |

    Oh, good, now I have proof that soft drinks like Mountain Dew are literally rat poison.

  26. DeepCough | Jan 11, 2012 at 1:05 pm |

    Oh, good, now I have proof that soft drinks like Mountain Dew are literally rat poison.

  27. Johnnyutah | Jan 11, 2012 at 5:06 pm |

    I remember doing a project for my science class back in junior high where I got teeth from a dentist and showed how they dissolved in Coca-Cola in less than two weeks. It actually dissolved all kinds of organic substances but teeth and bones(chicken and steak bones from the butcher) dissolved into a pile at the bottom of the container in about 11 days. Mountain Dew is correct, the guy obviously put the mouse in there himself.

  28. Johnnyutah | Jan 11, 2012 at 1:06 pm |

    I remember doing a project for my science class back in junior high where I got teeth from a dentist and showed how they dissolved in Coca-Cola in less than two weeks. It actually dissolved all kinds of organic substances but teeth and bones(chicken and steak bones from the butcher) dissolved into a pile at the bottom of the container in about 11 days. Mountain Dew is correct, the guy obviously put the mouse in there himself.

  29. Anonymous | Jan 11, 2012 at 5:33 pm |

    You should see what stomach acid does to rats….

  30. unbound55 | Jan 11, 2012 at 1:33 pm |

    You should see what stomach acid does to rats….

  31. its not that its rat poison, its that it is a corrosive acid (great for your system right?)

  32. Anarchy Pony | Jan 12, 2012 at 2:41 am |

    One of my favorite movie demises.

  33. Anarchy Pony | Jan 12, 2012 at 2:42 am |

    Bravo.

  34. Voidthought | Jan 12, 2012 at 4:40 am |

    The way you wrote this comment makes it seem riddled with psychopathy and frantic thinking.

  35. Ceausescu | Jan 12, 2012 at 7:28 am |

    You’re probably new here. He always writes like that.

  36. Paul Panza | Jan 12, 2012 at 8:28 am |

    holy cow batman

  37. Paul Panza | Jan 12, 2012 at 4:28 am |

    holy cow batman

  38. So what?  You want fizz?  You get the acid.  Just because it can dissolve things doesn’t mean it’s hurting you.  C’mon people, grow up and learn chemistry.
    If you put a mouse in a bottle of lemon juice you’d get about the same thing.  So, lemon juice is now bad?  NO, it isn’t in moderation, same as soda’s.  BTW, “soda” is another term of “acid”.
    Wow, gee, is that why they call it that?

  39. Your stomach acid is a good bit stronger than what’s in soda pop or lemon juice.
    Your stomach acid, undiluted, would burn through your carpet.

    Be well, and to do so stop worrying so much. 🙂

Comments are closed.