Mountain Dew Will Dissolve Rats On Contact

Mountain DewIf you like soft drinks the way I do, that is, looking like my conception of nuclear waste, this is really good news. From the Smoking Gun:

Defending itself from a lawsuit claiming that an Illinois man found a dead mouse inside a can of Mountain Dew, PepsiCo contends that a rodent would have disintegrated and been transformed into a “jelly-like” substance between the time of the soft drink’s bottling and the day the plaintiff reportedly purchased the soda from a vending machine at his office.

In a court response to a motion filed by Ronald Ball–who claims to have found the dead mouse in a Mountain Dew can about three years ago–PepsiCo filed a fascinating/revolting affidavit from Lawrence McGill, a veterinarian who noted that he was “familiar with the effects an acidic fluid, such as common soda drinks including Mountain Dew, will have on mice and other animals.”

According to McGill, if a mouse is submerged in Mountain Dew between four and seven days, the rodent “will have no calcium in its bones and bony structures.” During those days of soft drink immersion, “the mouse’s abdominal structure will rupture.” Additionally, “its cranial cavity (head) is also likely to rupture within that time period,” McGill noted.

Read More: Smoking Gun

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52 Responses to Mountain Dew Will Dissolve Rats On Contact

  1. Jack Treese January 11, 2012 at 7:24 am #

    Well no kidding–that’s four to seven days of total submersion.  And a smaller animal.  Actually, maybe even longer submersion if the guy found a rat in a sealed can and all–in which case, DERP.

  2. Jin The Ninja January 11, 2012 at 3:26 am #

    this makes me feel vindicated for growing up with a crazed macrobiotic parent who never let us drink soda.

  3. Jin (仁) January 11, 2012 at 7:26 am #

    this makes me feel vindicated for growing up with a crazed macrobiotic parent who never let us drink soda.

  4. ralph January 11, 2012 at 7:29 am #

    DERP. OK, Let me know if Coke, Pepsi, Sprite, 7-UP, Fanta, RC Cola, Ginger Ale, Tab, Coke Zero, Diet Coke, Diet Pepsi, Pepsi MAX, Coke Zero … we can list soft drinks all day … knock yourself out Mr. Wizard / Bill Nye …

  5. Hadrian999 January 11, 2012 at 3:35 am #

    that which does not kill you….

    • D.D.B. January 11, 2012 at 5:28 am #

      …will not make you dead??

    • Calypso_1 January 11, 2012 at 9:19 am #

      may leave you maimed and crippled.

      • Anarchy Pony January 11, 2012 at 10:42 pm #

        Bravo.

  6. Hadrian999 January 11, 2012 at 7:35 am #

    that which does not kill you….

  7. Jack Treese January 11, 2012 at 7:36 am #

    They’re soft drinks!  Of course they’re not good all the time, but people are still gonna drink it!  This story is rehashed common sense, RALPH.  You submerge a small animal in a heaping amount of soda, not only does it drown but it disintegrates because of the ingredients!

    You publish this story without taking into account how strong our digestive tracts are.  We have stomach acid to neutralize any foul agents that would otherwise make us sick, and our stomachs are lined for protection.  No need to go mocking me RALPH, managing editor of Disinformation, for having a conflicting view on the matter.

  8. ralph January 11, 2012 at 7:38 am #

    Well, DERP. What does that mean again?

    Internet slang like that is for people who have no interest in conversation.

  9. Jack Treese January 11, 2012 at 7:41 am #

    Well I gotta say it’s mature of you to try ending a comment thread that way, when you’re the one who shot back in the first place–all because I disagreed with you.

  10. ralph January 11, 2012 at 7:42 am #

    Use normal words and you will have respect. Act like a troll and do not be surprised.

  11. ralph January 11, 2012 at 7:46 am #

    Not worth my time …

  12. Jack Treese January 11, 2012 at 7:47 am #

    Good.  Wasn’t expecting to be anyway. :)

  13. ralph January 11, 2012 at 7:50 am #

    DERP is a flag for some nasty people nowadays. You have a head on your shoulders obviously. So I need to do other things at Disinfo then chime into the website right now (which BTW other people have taken care of lately).

    Appreciate the back and forth.

  14. Jack Treese January 11, 2012 at 7:53 am #

    No problem Ralph, keep up the good work!  I do love checking out your articles.

  15. ralph January 11, 2012 at 8:05 am #

    I guess, I am still not hip to all this “internet” conversation thing, which to me is still is not a substitute for the real thing.

    Or I have a lot of issues with the amount of Mountain Dew I have consumed since birth.

    Let’s go with the latter …

  16. ralph January 11, 2012 at 8:10 am #

    Makes you able to dissolve vermin in your liquids …

  17. ralph January 11, 2012 at 8:19 am #

    My mistake and the confusion I have with DERP … it is a stupid internet expression. Thanks again for your conversation.

  18. Ed Dy January 11, 2012 at 8:41 am #

    fag

  19. Ed Dy January 11, 2012 at 8:42 am #

    Fag

  20. Ed Dy January 11, 2012 at 8:43 am #

    figetyfag

  21. Ed Dy January 11, 2012 at 8:43 am #

    De business man needs a new necktie…and a sturdy tree….f f f ffaaag

  22. D.D.B. January 11, 2012 at 9:28 am #

    …will not make you dead??

  23. BuzzCoastin January 11, 2012 at 6:42 am #

    > Mountain Dew Will Dissolve Rats On Contact

    Do the Dew
    i’m sending a case to to every member of Congress and to the CIA
    let’s just see if the claim is true
    that would be DEWmocracy in action

    like, if you offer Obummer a MTN Dew
    is that considered a threat to the prez?

    MTN Dew
    the new Koolaid 
    only more lethal

    ok, let me take another sip of MTN Dew
    and get back atcha

    • Voidthought January 12, 2012 at 12:40 am #

      The way you wrote this comment makes it seem riddled with psychopathy and frantic thinking.

      • Ceausescu January 12, 2012 at 3:28 am #

        You’re probably new here. He always writes like that.

  24. BuzzCoastin January 11, 2012 at 10:42 am #

    > Mountain Dew Will Dissolve Rats On Contact

    Do the Dew
    i’m sending a case to to every member of Congress and to the CIA
    let’s just see if the claim is true
    that would be DEWmocracy in action

    like, if you offer Obummer a MTN Dew
    is that considered a threat to the prez?

    MTN Dew
    the new Koolaid 
    only more lethal

    ok, let me take another sip of MTN Dew
    and get back atcha

  25. Anonymous January 11, 2012 at 1:19 pm #

    may leave you maimed and crippled.

  26. I_abide January 11, 2012 at 9:43 am #

    How does this surprise people.  It wasn’t that long ago that they made a big deal about coca cola syrup being able to dissolve steaks and clean engine grease.

  27. Anonymous January 11, 2012 at 1:43 pm #

    How does this surprise people.  It wasn’t that long ago that they made a big deal about coca cola syrup being able to dissolve steaks and clean engine grease.

  28. MadHierophant January 11, 2012 at 11:22 am #

    DO THE DEW

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjEdLuqK1RQ 

    • Anarchy Pony January 11, 2012 at 10:41 pm #

      One of my favorite movie demises.

  29. Anonymous January 11, 2012 at 3:22 pm #

    DO THE DEW

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjEdLuqK1RQ 

  30. Anonymous January 11, 2012 at 3:22 pm #

    DO THE DEW

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjEdLuqK1RQ 

  31. DeepCough January 11, 2012 at 1:05 pm #

    Oh, good, now I have proof that soft drinks like Mountain Dew are literally rat poison.

    • Chaorder Gradient January 11, 2012 at 1:39 pm #

      its not that its rat poison, its that it is a corrosive acid (great for your system right?)

  32. DeepCough January 11, 2012 at 5:05 pm #

    Oh, good, now I have proof that soft drinks like Mountain Dew are literally rat poison.

  33. Johnnyutah January 11, 2012 at 1:06 pm #

    I remember doing a project for my science class back in junior high where I got teeth from a dentist and showed how they dissolved in Coca-Cola in less than two weeks. It actually dissolved all kinds of organic substances but teeth and bones(chicken and steak bones from the butcher) dissolved into a pile at the bottom of the container in about 11 days. Mountain Dew is correct, the guy obviously put the mouse in there himself.

  34. Johnnyutah January 11, 2012 at 5:06 pm #

    I remember doing a project for my science class back in junior high where I got teeth from a dentist and showed how they dissolved in Coca-Cola in less than two weeks. It actually dissolved all kinds of organic substances but teeth and bones(chicken and steak bones from the butcher) dissolved into a pile at the bottom of the container in about 11 days. Mountain Dew is correct, the guy obviously put the mouse in there himself.

  35. unbound55 January 11, 2012 at 1:33 pm #

    You should see what stomach acid does to rats….

  36. Anonymous January 11, 2012 at 5:33 pm #

    You should see what stomach acid does to rats….

  37. Chaorder Gradient January 11, 2012 at 5:39 pm #

    its not that its rat poison, its that it is a corrosive acid (great for your system right?)

  38. Anarchy Pony January 12, 2012 at 2:41 am #

    One of my favorite movie demises.

  39. Anarchy Pony January 12, 2012 at 2:42 am #

    Bravo.

  40. Voidthought January 12, 2012 at 4:40 am #

    The way you wrote this comment makes it seem riddled with psychopathy and frantic thinking.

  41. Ceausescu January 12, 2012 at 7:28 am #

    You’re probably new here. He always writes like that.

  42. Paul Panza January 12, 2012 at 4:28 am #

    holy cow batman

  43. Paul Panza January 12, 2012 at 8:28 am #

    holy cow batman

  44. TT January 27, 2012 at 6:20 pm #

    So what?  You want fizz?  You get the acid.  Just because it can dissolve things doesn’t mean it’s hurting you.  C’mon people, grow up and learn chemistry.
    If you put a mouse in a bottle of lemon juice you’d get about the same thing.  So, lemon juice is now bad?  NO, it isn’t in moderation, same as soda’s.  BTW, “soda” is another term of “acid”.
    Wow, gee, is that why they call it that?

  45. TT January 27, 2012 at 6:23 pm #

    Your stomach acid is a good bit stronger than what’s in soda pop or lemon juice.
    Your stomach acid, undiluted, would burn through your carpet.

    Be well, and to do so stop worrying so much. :)

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