The 8 Most Obnoxious Internet Commenters

I’m a combination of #8, #5, #6, #3 and #2.  Which are you?  (Don’t lie now, all Disinfo commenters are at least one.)  Via Cracked:

Under every video on YouTube or Break, and under every story on Digg or even right here on Cracked, there is a mini-culture that forms down in the comment section. The hit-and-run nature of the comments means it’s fertile ground for some really annoying personalities to thrive.

These are the eight commenter personality types you’d most like to avoid, but can’t because they’re freaking everywhere.

#8. The Non-Believer

Typical Comment: “FAKE! Did you see how that guy exploded just BEFORE he hit the tree. Fake, don’t waste my time.”

Who Are They? They like to think of themselves as the jaded skeptic in a world full of gullible sheeple, determined to be a flickering light of truth in a dark internet full of lies and fake viral videos. “No one could really fart on a birthday cake that way!”

Why We Hate Them: The guys we’re talking about here are the knee-jerk skeptics, the ones who take it too far. They have an automatic reaction to call “fake” on pretty much any video that shows anything remotely remarkable happening. They’re not doing it in some grand quest for truth, they just want to feel smarter than the room and generally suck all of the wonder out of the world.

This is the internet, if we want to believe some dudes can catch sunglasses on their face like that, who are they to take that from us, dammit!

Read more here.

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32 Responses to The 8 Most Obnoxious Internet Commenters

  1. Heath January 26, 2012 at 5:28 pm #

    This article is effin stupid who wrote this shyt  the Republicans? If you don’t like that we can take it outside tough guy! Stop judging people we are who we are here! Yea thats right and that blood is nothin alittle “H20″ and “Cl” can’t handle.

    • Calypso_1 January 26, 2012 at 5:45 pm #

      Faggot

      • Gadget Gadget January 26, 2012 at 9:47 pm #

        You like it to sex ? Lots of hot, horny, faggot, waiting to have sex with you in your town tonight. Eat the poo poo. Click link ! NO VIRUS !!! Promise you like ! Gadget Gadget

    • Calypso_1 January 26, 2012 at 5:59 pm #

      …and I believe sir that you refer to NaClO unless you were meant Cl2 which would be fine for producing Hypochlorous and Hydrochloric acid – you could thus disinfect your pool.

      • Heath January 26, 2012 at 6:16 pm #

        As a brewer I’m more of a 
        Na2CO3•H2O2 kind of guy

        • Calypso_1 January 26, 2012 at 8:13 pm #

          that’s cool, I’m more a Euler kind of guy.

  2. Hadrian999 January 26, 2012 at 5:37 pm #

    I was just checking to see if i made the list

  3. chinagreenelvis January 26, 2012 at 5:42 pm #

    They forgot a few:

    The Shill (self-explanatory)
    The Guy Who Argues With People He Basically Agrees With (me)
    The Disinformer (commonly seen on The Pirate Bay, posting things like “TROJAN FOUND KAPERSKY”)

    • chinagreenelvis January 26, 2012 at 5:45 pm #

      Not to mention The Guy Who Points Out The Fact That The Way Disinfo Handles Comment Paragraph Spacing To Make Up For The Fact That Most People Don’t Double-Space Between Them Is Really Screwing Up The Formatting For Those Of Us Who Do (also me)

    • Camron Wiltshire January 27, 2012 at 4:53 pm #

      Yes, the Shill is definitely a necessary edition. 

  4. adam January 26, 2012 at 5:55 pm #

    I think “The Ron Paul Supporter” really ought to have their own category.

    • ScorpZ January 26, 2012 at 8:06 pm #

      I thought that was #2.. I don’t see political activists talking about any other candidates..

      Ron Paul!
      Ron Paul!
      Ron Paul!
      Ron Paul!
      Ron Paul 2012! 

      We get it! You want him to win. But we are smart enough to realize this is impossible. 

      • Alis January 27, 2012 at 2:59 am #

        Ron Paul 2012!

      • HoboDeiter January 27, 2012 at 11:30 am #

        Pon Raul 2012!

        • paulbotfolife4875 January 27, 2012 at 6:10 pm #

          Ron Paul FOR LIBERTY!

    • MrSta January 29, 2012 at 7:12 am #

      Hahaha!

  5. Anarchy Pony January 26, 2012 at 6:31 pm #

    How about every one that says first, in various ways, like 1st! And ONEst!!!1! 

  6. BrushMyTeeth January 26, 2012 at 7:04 pm #

    Should I just cut out the middle man and start going directly to Cracked ?

    • Andrew January 26, 2012 at 8:34 pm #

      Obviously.

  7. DeepCough January 26, 2012 at 7:20 pm #

    Just by visiting this site, you’re officially #2. Coincidentally, there are a lot of turd opinions here as a result.

  8. PatBateman January 26, 2012 at 9:34 pm #

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OF4mlPxVWUk

  9. Saxmanistan January 26, 2012 at 9:44 pm #

    I will take my Sax elsewhere http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaoLU6zKaws

  10. RoboKy January 26, 2012 at 11:15 pm #

    Tits or it didnt GTFO

  11. Simiantongue January 26, 2012 at 11:36 pm #

    9. I’m a ranter. I usually find it difficult to say anything in less than a hundred words.

    • Calypso_1 January 26, 2012 at 11:50 pm #

      Given the usual quality of your posts that hardly qualifies you as one of the ‘most obnoxious commenters’.

      • Simiantongue January 27, 2012 at 10:49 am #

        Thanks, nice of you to say. Maybe not one of the “most obnoxious”, but It would certainly qualify if it were a top 20 list. lol

  12. VoxMagi January 27, 2012 at 3:27 am #

    I want honorary mention as #9: “Dude who regularly forgets that extreme sarcasm is often hard to recognize online without a disclaimer and winds up with people taking him seriously for comments that were wayyyy beyond the boundaries of good taste and probably shouldn’t have been made in the first place.”

  13. Internet January 27, 2012 at 4:47 am #

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrMXSsHauGE

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