Rick Santorum Declares War On Heavy Metal

Rick Santorum - CaricatureKeith Spillett’s satirical article on Santorum at The Tyranny of Tradition blog is the funniest political story I’ve read this week. Or this year.

Rick Santorum has been on the offensive lately, but his target has not been Republican frontrunner Mitt Romney or even President Barack Obama. For the past week, Santorum has been using his campaign to take aim at an issue he feels to be the single most dangerous force in America today: Satanism in heavy metal. “If you listen to the radio today, many of these brand new, so-called heavy metal music bands like Black Sabbath, Venom, The WASP and Iron Maiden use satanic imagery to corrupt the minds of young people,” announced Santorum at a 10,000 dollar a plate sock-hop in Valdosta, Georgia on Thursday.

Santorum’s popularity in the polls has grown substantially since he began speaking out against metal and its assault on traditional values. He has spent much of the past week in the Midwest encouraging young people to stay away from metal artists and listen to performers like Michael W. Smith and Pat Boone. In a recent Gallup Poll, 87 percent of Republican voters think that the biggest problem in America today is “the demented bloodlust of teenagers caused entirely by heavy metal music.”

In the past, Santorum has accused heavy metal of being the cause of some of the worst crimes in American history including the attempt on the life of Ronald Reagan in 1981, 9/11 and the passage of Obama’s Health Care Bill. He stepped up his rhetoric in a speech on Wednesday when he implied that heavy metal is the cause of many forms of mental illness as well as lactose intolerance.

It’s probably not a coincidence that since he began his crusade against metal that his poll numbers have been surging upwards. Picking out a small and unique group, singling them out as “other” and using them to frighten the masses is a proud tradition in American politics. However, many commentators believe that his call for metal internment camps goes too far…

[continues at at The Tyranny of Tradition blog]

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  • http://strictlyapathy.comoj.com/ SoulArbiter

    Wow. I’m actually lost for words after reading this.

  • badinternet

    i dont doubt he believes that shit, but there were’nt even quotation marks for alot of the presumed “quotes” from Santorum, nor was their any source, nor is there any other publication in print or online corroborating any of this… 

    • BrianApocalypse

       That’s because it was made up.

  • http://twitter.com/GOB3S Garrett Schaefer

    If metal is bad for the youth, i don’t even wanna know what country is doing to them….

  • guy

    I’m pretty sure it’s satire. Still good stuff though.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=525515589 Greg Schmidt

    I want to know what station is still playing Iron Maiden

    • Grrammmpa

      VH1.

  • Anonymous

    Black Sabbath and Iron Maiden are “brand-new”? Demonizing heavy metal in 2012, seriously? Is he stuck in a time warp?

    • Amilcar

      It comes to me as no surprise that you support heavy metal, you evil antichrist, as it is the music your father composed to pave the way to your reign of chaos and terror. You can drop your mask, Anonymous: we christians worldwide are aware of your evil doings and spreading the word, so humanity can finally unite as one, diveded by zero, in the Kingdom of Heavens.

  • http://twitter.com/Razorbath Alien Cyborg Fetus

    Yes you should get your bloodlust killing in the middle east like a good Christian. 

  • zedted

    Ya sure, this guy knows what’s up.  Douche bag.

  • Mickeybruce52

    lol… brand new bands like Black Sabbath…  who were recording while Santorum was in elementary school.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1067356059 Dave James

    stupid fucking Americans, learn comprehension. 1st sentence ” Keith Spillett’s satirical article on Santorum at The Tyranny of Tradition “. By any chance do you not comprehend what satirical means?

    • Redacted

      NOU

  • Redacted

    He’s already declared war on our patience.

  • JaceD

    This guy needs some Between the Buried and Me in his life.

  • Jason Campbell

    Pat Boone recorded some Heavy Metal himself …

    • http://twitter.com/alizardx A.Lizard

      google for images of him in that period. Pat Boone in heavy metal outfits is funny, but not to the brain bleach point.

  • Amilcar

    I think this irresponsible satire is sintomatic of the liberal thinking in this country, and is the root of many problems worldwide. It is written in the glowing piramids: we need a republican president to send drones to all satanist yesterday, to prevent armagedon and bring real CHANGE.

    • Master Pagan

      Christianity is a parasite in humanity’s stomach: 2000 years of misery and torture. And by the way: Satanism is basically just another branch of christianty, think about it for a second. You should really just restrict your preaching to a church. Less and less people even care about this crap anymore anyway, there’s so much more to life…

      • Peace and Love LOL

        The true parasite in society is intolerance. Regardless of what that intolerance is against, it does nothing but breed hatred and more intolerance. We all should be able to believe what we choose to without criticism judgement by those that don’t share our beliefs. As long as my beliefs don’t cause me to act outside of the law, and I am not forcing others to think like I do, then no one should have the right to tell me I am wrong. That goes for Christians and non-Christians alike.

        • Psychonomaly

          You should be more tolerant of people who tell you you’re wrong, as long as they’re not acting outside the law.

      • BurningTightRope

        GAWD! I’m sick of this stupid argument. I don’t embrace religion, but I’m not so pig-headed and foolish as to miss the simplest fact : if you remove the ideology of christianity from history, it becomes glaringly obvious that PEOPLE are, were and always will be the root of misery and torture. If you’re any sort of evolutionist, What came first????? 

        Religion / Christianity, et al, is the RESULT of screwed up human behavior. Period. The lame argument that it is the cause of “misery and torture” is so “bass ackwards”. PEOPLE have been self-serving and violent regardless of ideology. Atheists have been murdering millions at every turn. Do I need to make a f***ing LIST for you?!?!?!?!?The “evils of religion” argument is sooooooooooooooooooo stupid. Any atheist who pedals it as “truth” for argument has no clue as to what truth really is, nor do they really care. It’s like swinging a short bat to puff oneself up as “dangerous”, “Yeah, um bad, I know the truth”. They are just using it out of laziness, as they reach for something to spout off. It’s about as intelligent as breaking wind. This whole website is full of it. Keep ranting about your “crusades” and “witch trials” as proof of religion’s evil influence.  When you wake up and put away your fake atheistic warm fuzzies and see that people have ALWAYS been the problem, you’ll actually see who the parasites are.
        Atheists can suck as hard as any christian can.

    • Artor

      WTF? Are you writing in English or Wingnut? I can’t understand what you’re saying.

  • Carlos R Gonzalez

    He does not what he is talking about,”new bands like black sabbath? Fucking moron.Hey Pat Boone? he was known for singing fats Dominoes hits. COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Anarchy Pony

    Why would he fight the satan music? He’s already fighting the insidious gays, and those sluts who use the pill, and basically everybody a rethuglican can fight.
    He is such a friggin’ joke though. 

    • Amilcar

      Like any politician in campaing he pretends he will end with some satanic aberrations, but once in office he will turn his back to real christians. But to say he is a joke is a bit rude: at least he pushes this issues into public debate.

      • Liam_McGonagle

        Maybe it’s the ridiculous non-issues themselves that people find an offensive waste of their time.

        I do.

  • Server

    Um, so, everyone seems to have fallen into the trap I did at first:  Thinking this article was true. Check the description again: “satirical article”.  Kind of like “The Onion”.   It is funny though.

  • Honu

    This must be a joke.  As out of touch as Santorum is, it’s hard to believe he’d think these bands are new. If it’s true though, that should be the dem’s campaign slogan if he gets the nomination….
    “He thinks Black Sabbath is a new band”. 

  • zedted

    Satire?

    Hey I’m joking. Mother teresa is a whore, the Pope sucks little boys off into manhood.  Obama hates the constitution.

    Ya, satire.

    • Ceausescu

       Yeah, it’s sad how people think that satire is not true enough. I wonder why…

  • SorryIDontReadFiction

    I know this is satire, but I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if it wasn’t…

    • Amilcar

       I don’t share your hope in Sanctorum’s integrity. I think the republicans in general, and he in particular, play with conservatives and christians needs to get votes, but both partys follow the agenda of the Illuminati, who spread terror to create the need for a savior and provide a false one: the antichrist Anonymous, who will use the energy channeled through the piramids to hack the armys of drones built by Obama, to persecute the brave christians who fight for the CHANGE. It has been fortold by Jemima’s asparagous.

      • Artor

        Okay, that one was more coherent, but still whacked.

  • Nonlocal

    ” The WASP”, hilarious. The funny thing is, most people are “satanists” and don’t even know it, for materialism and satanism are pretty much the same thing.

    • Amilcar

      Yes, indeed. The fact that we won’t be pure and get free of the corruption of crude matter until the Judgement Day is actually hell on Earth. The only thing that prevents me from suicide is that it is a sin; but i pray every day for a flock of USArmy drones to put us all out of this misery. That would be a real CHANGE.

      • http://twitter.com/alizardx A.Lizard

        Your current posting may be even better satire than the article nominally being discussed.

  • Mickeybruce52

    yep, this is a fraud.  funny, though.

    • Amilcar

       You wouldn’t think is funny if you could see how modern music makes teenagers vulnerable to temptation and even satanic worshiping.

      • ReligiousInducedDementia

        what you just wrote is even funnier! 

  • http://twitter.com/alizardx A.Lizard

    Great snark. I suspect that Santorum would probably become more spiritually centered if he were to spend an hour listening to the song “Mother of Abominations” by Prometheus Burning set to replay mode.

  • Spike1138

    Is he reading the text of a Tipper Gore speech from 1985..?

  • BurningTightRope

    PEOPLE!!!! IT’S SATIRE!!!!!!!!!! It is NOT FACTUALLY ACCURATE!!!!!! — Look, I’m not a fan of Santorum either, but the problem with this “Disinformation” site is that too many of you people just sycophantically SUCK DOWN EVERYTHING YOU READ and spit it back out as truth. WHAT IN HELL  IS WRONG WITH SO MANY OF YOU?????? You rant against religious people who you say believe in fiction – BUT YOU DO THE EXACT SAME THING!!!!!!!! YOU BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ AS LONG AS IT MAKES A WARM FUZZY WITH YOUR OPINION OF THINGS. HOW STUPID!!!! TALK ABOUT SHEEP.

    • nija

      I don’t think anyone actually beleives this. It appears that most people caught onto the satire. Calm down!

      • Guest.

        Actually there is quite a lot of people who truly believe that this information is true. The few people who have opened their eyes are the people who listen to Heavy Metal… It is sad to think that people could actually take this article seriously, after it was clearly filed under satire, but people are to ignorant to read that part. And use their brain to realize how obvious it is to be untrue. 

        • http://profile.yahoo.com/P47VVIGT7CWT2LVSEEZ6K73OBM Jacqueline

          Well, the thing is- the more extreme statements are, the more difficult it is to distinguish true opinion from satire. Santorum is an extreme guy, so this is somewhat believable for about the first five-twenty seconds. Rick Santorum has said some things that have made me do triple-takes in disbelief, so, reading something like this did not set off my bullshit meter as quickly as satire about another politician might. This is like a news story from alternate-universe Fox News: the liberal extremist news network. :)

      • BurningTightRope

        Haha, calm down, indeed nija :) – ‘though, I wrote that in response, not only to the people here on thread – who posted well before me, but also because of seeing this link posted on facebook. It seems that when these kinds of things get misunderstood, the head-waggers spread it around too often as truth. — My original indignation is because of not only this thread, but also previous frustration with the regular knee-jerk reactions of people who only read selectively and embrace what strokes their personal agendas – regardless of what the real truth is. — Point being that by the time some of these people wake up to the satire, they have already been off prancing about commenting and linking on such things as factual. — And I’ve been so naive to imagine that people against the likes of Santorum are actually bright and thinking individuals. Yet they posture and rant as if they are “Voices of Reason” – despite NOT thinking before they speak. — My whole problem is that when I read things, I ask the question : Is this true? whether about a single statement or an entire article. Gawd! What IS my problem? I guess it’s always better to shoot first.

  • Jbar

    I fuck like a beast.

  • Blueshunter60

    Yes, those ‘new’ bands like Black Sabbath and Iron Maiden… Whew. What’s the matter with kids today?

    You’ve got to be kidding? The ultra-right is still beating this drum?

  • http://voxmagi-necessarywords.blogspot.com/ VoxMagi

    Pretty funny for a blogger satire. Frankly…anyone backhandedly slamming religious scatterbrains for their random need to assess blame on everything and everyone…usually by tapping whatever they dislike at the moment and characterizing it as the source of all ills…gets a nod from me. 

    • http://voxmagi-necessarywords.blogspot.com/ VoxMagi

      forgot…if he really wanted some props for backdated Metal knowledge…he should have dropped a name like Celtic Frost. The song “Into Crypt of Rais” still gives me the creeps (referring to Gilles DeRais the french field marshal of many centuries ago…convicted of mass murder and satanism after literally scores of tortured bodies were found in his castle). 

  • Gergith

    You’d think people hadn’t heard of satirical news before. I’m pretty sure all of us go to the Onion! :D

    Thanks for posting this, made me smile!

    I’m still waiting for a Colbert like war on truth! :p

  • WTF

    “GWAR played his inauguration as governor of Massachusetts back in 2003″ – if only this were true…

  • http://twitter.com/consprcy_carrot Conspiracy Carrot

     I remember the war on metal years back when I was a youngster. Our Sunday school teacher told us, in all seriousness, that Satan & his minions listened to Iron Maiden whenever they had some kinda gathering in Hell. Freaking hilarious.

  • TruthMonger

    This article seems to be a joke. Literally. I’m sure GWAR really played at Santorum’s inauguration. This blog is trying to be like The Onion, but it’s so mediocre in its comedy that it can be mistaken for a “real” article. Disinfo is a great source for controversial news, but when you post satire it would be good if there were a notice indicating it’s satire before I waste my time reading what I think is actual news.

    • Eric_D_Read

      “Keith Spillett’s satirical article on Santorum…” should have been your first clue.

  • Artor

    The funny thing is, I can’t tell where the story departs from reality. It’s obvious by the end, but I have no way of telling where it leaves off from Santorum’s bullshit & continues with the author’s bullshit. It;s a masterful bit of Poe.

  • Lurker
  • DeepCough

    “It’s such a fine line between brilliant and stupid.” ~This Is Spinal Tap

  • 80smetalman

    I’ve been hearing the b*llsh*t since the 80s. I’ve listened to heavy metal for most of my adult life. I’m 50 now. I have never wanted to worship the dark lord or participate in any unlawful acts as a result. Why don’t religious people look for real problems instead of scapegoating a small minority.

    • Amilcar

      ¿In thirty years of listening to heavy metal you haven´t commited any unlawful act? That is what i call an evil influence. Try listening different music: that may CHANGE your behavior.

  • J Black

    You cannot defeat THE METAL. For in the end there is only THE METAL. The power of THE DARK one will rise up through THE METAL and cast forth its electric riffs and bleeding distortion the true word of THE METAL. STEEL your resolve America for the coming of THE METAL. In the end there will be only GUITARS and DRUMS and the screaming pitch of the mad and possessed chant of THE METAL … singer.

    • Amilcar

      In the name of Ronny, Santorum and The Holly Party, l pray the Taste to release you from heavy metal. CHANGE.

  • http://twitter.com/TheDrunkCyclist The Drunken Cyclist

    Let’s ask Rick why the stars on the republican logo were turned upside down back in 1995…

  • Smith

    More proof that satire is really difficult to write.  What a total fail.

  • Mconrad332

    Okay, WASP was 80’s, Sabbath was 60’s-70’s, Maiden started in the 70’s, and Venom’s satanic stuff is a persona. he’s retarded, or he has actually never listened to a metal album in his life.

  • http://twitter.com/porkpiesuperman Matthew John

    wonder what he thinks about stryper

  • Dakrlord messiah

    Why was this posted here?

    • Darklord messiah

      What the ****

  • jeremiahjoseph

    Pathetic, sophomoric satire by a politically clueless, but well, let’s see, oh, such a stunningly hip journalist…. This sort of limp-handed humor offering no discernible constructive insight on any relevant issue, yes, it does further in its own odd way our understanding why our country is in grave difficulty…. 

  • Unholy Ghxst

    notice that all the bands are from the 70s and 80s

  • luisny

    Iron maiden and black sabbath brand new bands???? wtf??? ahhahaah and dave from megadeth support this reactionary ! !

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