The LDS ‘Do Not Baptize’ List

Below is an open letter to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormon), but first watch this:

The recent, and flagrant, disregard of the wishes of the families, and peoples, of the deceased by the Mormon Church is cause for great alarm. These baptisms can be performed on anyone with or without their living permission, and although certain people are supposedly exempt, for instance Jews who died in the Holocaust, the wishes of the dead and their families are still being violated by the Church. This practice is troublesome and must be ended.

While we respect that you believe this baptism is an offer that the deceased will be allowed to accept or reject in the afterlife, you must recognize that this is your belief and does not apply to all people’s vision of religion or lack there of. As such this practice is a desecration of the deceased individual’s personal beliefs and wishes, and those of the family’s.

Additionally, by adding individuals to your lists posthumously you may well be obfuscating the historical record and delivering a miscarriage of history

The obvious solution is for the Church to baptize only those who expressly desire the ritual, for instance, those who die a Mormon. That we need to preempt the desecration of the dead with this list is abhorrent – yet here we are.

We, the undersigned, wish to be added to a “Do Not Baptize” list. We further request that the Church respect our rights to the freedom of religion and the freedom from religion.

The Gadfly Press and the undersigned

Would you like to make sure you are not posthumously baptized by the Mormon Church? If so leave your name in the comments section. While this is not, indeed cannot be, an official listing, we endeavor to take a stand in defense of our religious freedoms. Share this list and help us get as many people signed up as possible; perhaps with enough people we can convince the Church to end the practice.

44 Comments on "The LDS ‘Do Not Baptize’ List"

    • Is it true that Mormons have to molest children to get into Heaven?

      • Anarchy Pony | Feb 19, 2012 at 1:48 pm |

        It’s true that their women have to be the same in the afterlife as they are in meat space, barefoot and pregnant.

        • Its like they distilled the worst elements of Christianity, which I believe actually does have redeeming qualities (har har, no pun intended)

  1. I’m sure that this is somehow all very serious, but I have a hard time giving much credence to the idea that a person could be so dreadfully offended by being involuntarily inducted into someone else’s “Secret Club”.

  2. I think the cultists of the Mormon church should take their child molesting ways and fuck off. Because thats what Mormonism is about, depraved sexual practices that was codified into a Religion by perhaps the greatest heretics ever, Joseph Smith and his lover Brigham Young.

    • I love your honesty! 

      I agree, it looks like a weird cult practice. I think we are seeing religious fundamentalism come out of the woodwork now. It’s going to get creepy! Stay tuned…

    • MilkMushMeat | Feb 20, 2012 at 3:54 pm |

       You sir, are full of $h!t.  Mormon’s are the only large group in the Western world that are still having children, nurturing children, and spending our treasure on children (see the latest census data).  Our genes will continue through history while you become just another evolutionary dead-end.

      • Do not forget molesting and raping… but that seems to go along with many religions.

  3. Paintslikebobross | Feb 19, 2012 at 1:23 pm |

    Famine, poverty, war tension, and here we are baptizing dead people from another religion.  Your Morons, err, Mormons and your special underwear are messed up.  The only good thing they brought to us was Napoleon Dynamite.  Gawsh! 

  4. I don’t really care what anyone does to my body after my death, It’s always been my view that it’s good if someone can get some enjoyment out of something I don’t need anymore.

  5. The dead could hardly care what kind of mumbo-jumbo is done in their name, but this practice is incredibly disrespectful and shows how the Mormon Church is obnoxiously ignorant of decent behavior. To take someone who lost their life because of their religion, and posthumously claim that they were part of your own religion does nothing but stroke your own ego, and show the rest of the world what a huge asshole you are.

  6. Anarchy Pony | Feb 19, 2012 at 1:49 pm |

    All I know is that Thor is awesome and Jesus, well, isn’t.

    • Jesus was awesome! If I could see any Marvel character on the big screen it would be Jesus, Captain Jesus, the Incredible Jesus, Iron Jesus. Imagen that, a super hero who can walk on water, get his friends pissed by turning water into wine and then healing their mortal wounds before dying himself and coming back to life?! That’s way more awesome than a bearded Norse man with an epic hammer who rides a chariot in the sky being pulled by giant goats….

      • Anarchy Pony | Feb 20, 2012 at 1:18 am |

        Who slays giants, has his own day of the week, Thor’s day(Thursday) and is destined to defeat the Midgard serpent Jormungandr during Ragnarok.  

        • Ha I suppose having your own day of the week beats having two days a year to remember our lord and saviour. Man no wonder Skyrim had a field day basing the game essentially off Norse mythology.

          • Anarchy Pony | Feb 20, 2012 at 1:05 pm |

            Well, they definitely borrowed quite a few bits, like Sovngarde, which is based on Valhalla.

          •  But alas, it is all for naught, as Odin is destined to be be killed in glorious battle by Fenrir, and Thor by the Great Wyrm, and all the Gods shall fall before the Giants and the world destroyed…

          • Anarchy Pony | Feb 20, 2012 at 8:03 pm |

            But the world is reborn again. 

  7. I think those with religious proclivities get what they deserve,  now and in the afterlife…lol

  8. I’m Reverend Egg Plant and I approve this message. 

  9. I’m hardly concerned about a LDS being baptized in my name.  If God was going to hold me accountable someone I have no control over doing something stupid in my name, He wouldn’t be much of a God.

    It sure doesn’t put the mormon church in a very good light though.  Seriously? You’re going to baptize members of your church, but you’re going to do it in lieu of baptizing people who apparently had no interest in being a part of your church, because you actually believe that your baptism will act as the propitiation for someone else’s sins? Then on judgement day they’ll get to choose between accepting their posthumous proxy baptism, or the religion (or none) that they chose to live with their whole life because apparently God is more impressed by dunking someone in water (by proxy) than ANYTHING ELSE? And of course, when standing at the pearly gates, that pour soul who was an unbeliever (by mormon standards) will be so grateful that you’ve baptized them (again… by proxy… in name only) and given them a chance to get into heaven that they will happily convert to the mormon church? 

  10. rileyrifle | Feb 19, 2012 at 4:21 pm |

    This is incredibly dickish, even for the Mormon church.

  11. So why doesn’t the equivalent Church of Latter Day Satanic bullshiit have a similar posthumous anti-baptism damnation ritual?

  12. Seanewart | Feb 19, 2012 at 6:27 pm |

    I am one of the author’s of this letter. If you want to sign the letter, write your name in the comments section here: 

    Thanks to DisInfo for giving us exposure, hopefully we can join those like Elie Wiesel who are against the practice of unasked for religious treatment. 

    — Sean Ewart 

  13. LuckyAndUnhappy | Feb 19, 2012 at 7:29 pm |

    Bill Maher has already come up with a great way to respond to this:

  14. I feel a little dim on this one, to be clear when they say by “proxy” they mean someone else’s body is being used? They didn’t have hitlers body and baptize it right? If by “proxy” they mean baptizing some relative of hitler and then saying hitler got the batpism, i can understand this better. Then the body of the dead is not effected and its just some thought game they are playing. Some how getting hitlers body and drunking it in water just sounds crazy, i want to see photos.

  15. If you really look at it the practice is harmless. Mormons aren’t saying what the member was in life, or even what they were in death, but to the Mormons, it is a sacred duty, as in their eyes every person must be baptized Mormon to make it into the kingdom of god. What it becomes is an act of kindness, giving people a chance to accept baptism on the other side. No matter what anyone thinks of it, they’re never going to stop the practice, and I dare say, it’s STILL less offensive than those South Baptist arsholes.

    • Buddhaballa | Feb 20, 2012 at 12:44 am |

      The issue isn’t with the metaphysical implications it’s with the LDS church claiming people as their own and putting it down in their records. If you look at Byzantine history you see how history once funneled through one religion’s records, while that was good in some ways (retaining some of the classical philosophers, although the Muslims also did that) it also crafted the dark ages. But outside of the atheistic stance that, “yeah it doesn’t matter to the dead person but it may distort history”, there is a clear impact on those who are still alive. While I’m not religious there are plenty of people who are descended from people who are not Mormons who would not like to see their ancestor baptized by the LDS church. So yeah if we believe it’s all nonsense (the atheist standpoint) it still does matter to people who are alive and invested in their own religion. Just to reductio, I’m pretty sure people wouldn’t love if the LDS church thought digging up corpses and pissing on them was a holy ceremony, even though it bears no impact on the people who are dead. But, devout religious people do feel this way when their ancestors are baptized. (As a side note you’re completely right southern baptists are huge pricks and Mormons are very kind and just trying to help in my experience, but people have to draw the line somewhere).

  16. This is stupid | Feb 20, 2012 at 5:23 am |

    You think god gives a shit if somebody baptizes you after you’re dead? If you have no beliefs in the LDS faith, then what an LDS person does, even if it has anything to do with your dead soul, has absolutely no bearing on how your god or lack of god will sees you. I mean, lets say I have a religion, and its called Praise Bananas, or whatever you want to call it. Now, I decide that all people living and dead should be baptized in that religion. I say alakazam, dance around my shower three times and now I’ve baptized you, your family, your dead relatives, all in the name of Praise Bananas. Does this make you angry? If so, I’m totally doing it… right now. People are soooo overly sensitive to bullshit rituals. LDS is just as ridiculous as Praise Bananas. Get over yourselves.

  17. As for my personal views on Mormons, Mormonism well I’ll be polite and say “Don’t get me started”…

    However, of all the things to go nuts on them for…
    Well, this really takes the cake.

    I mean, most “Good Christans” who go around Prozletizing (deliberately misspelled) love their “Spiritual Extortion” that if you don’t worship in their “One True Way” you’ll burn forever in Hell with the Pope and Ghandi and “All the other Satanist Baby Rapers!” (actual quote)  One I met in a coffeeshop who reminded me of a documentary on Gacy said he was actually PROUD that the way he banged the bible drove away more people than would ever convert.  He believed that 144,000 thing, that if the whole world suddenly repented, went to HIS way, well there’d still be only 144K going upstairs.  HOWEVER, though “Faith” comes before works, works do matter after.  So out of the whole world he at least admitted he’d be quite on the short end of that yardstick for actual good done for his fellow men.

    And, remember that South Park where there are tons of people in Hell and they protest they were “Good Christians” and the Devil told them, “Sorry, wrong choice” then they went “Well, what WAS the right choice?” and he said “Mormonism” and they went “Ahhhh Fuuuuuuuuuu” or such?

    Well, in RL the Mormons for whatever else we hate them for are dropping the ladder down if their version is the right one.  Most of the others, under the table to insiders, promise you’ll be able to watch the damned tormented forever and laugh and laugh and laugh.

    So, silly as it is, it’s a nice thing.  I’ll admit that.

    But then “The Jews”… 

    “Haalp us!  Hallp Us!  Anti-Semitism!  Haalllp Us!”

    Really, the Mormons aren’t digging up graves and sprinkling holy water on corpses, dancing around wearing their magic underwear.  They don’t even visit the cemeteries.  They just get names and say prayers for them.

    “Haalp us!  Hallp Us!  Anti-Semitism!  Haalllp Us!”

    Talk about “Poisoning the Well”.

  18. Please take my name off the Mormon baptism list, reaffirm my place on the do not call list, stop sending me opportunities to lock in natural gas prices, and quit throwing advertising circulars on my lawn…in fact stay the hell off my lawn. 

  19. Matt Bowers.  No baptism, or I will haunt your asses if I’m wrong and I actually do go somewhere when I die.

  20. I would type my name, but I really think that if the Mormon Church knew my name I would be more likely to end up on their list, thank you.

  21. Thebigfloopy | Apr 22, 2012 at 11:39 pm |

    I am a “Mormon” as the world classifies my religion, but our real name is the Church Of Jesus Christ Of latter Day Saints. I have read the hurtful, sick, wrong things each of you has said about my faith and have one question for all of you… Have you ever met a Mormon in real life? 
    All I have to say, is that if you would like real answers about who we are, and our beliefs, check out You will find all the answers you are looking for on this website. All I really want to get across is that, you are attacking the most sacred thing in my life. My religion is the most important thing to me. You all know nothing of it, but jump to these awful conclusions we are baby rapers, and digging up bodies and baptizing them… Guess what, you are wrong! 

    Have some respect, get the facts and make your conclusions after doing some research, but don’t ever associate my religion with 99% of the things that have been listed.

    • Calypso_1 | Apr 23, 2012 at 12:11 am |

      “…one question for all of you… Have you ever met a Mormon in real life?”

      Given the propensity you Moroni-ites have for knocking on doors uninvited, I’d say yes, we have all met a Mormon in real life.   

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