Valentines Day Is A Hoax!

Reliquary of St. ValentineTom Matlack writes for the Good Men Project:

I’ve been reading up on Saint Valentine and the Roman, Catholic and Pagan origins of roses, chocolates and Hallmark cards on February 14th.I’m just not buying it.  Don’t get me wrong I am all for love, romance, doting husbands, and kinky sex. It’s just that I support those activities on a daily basis not just one made up day of the year.

The problem with Valentines Day is that it puts too much pressure on everyone involved.  It’s kind of like New Years Eve without the booze.  For no good reason we are supposed to do something special, have someone special, be happy and in love.

I am in love.  But I’m a miserable SOB most of the time and I resent being told to act otherwise.

I really believe its this capitalist conspiracy by flower peddlers (I asked the biggest one in Boston about my theory but he played dumb with me other than to say its his biggest day of the year by far).  Think about it.  Do they celebrate Valentines Day in communist countries?

I’m sure Fidel has clamped down on this rose crap.

I’m thinking that there is some Big Brother somewhere in the bowels of corporate America who first came up with the idea…

[continues at the Good Men Project]

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13 Responses to Valentines Day Is A Hoax!

  1. Mr Willow February 14, 2012 at 5:25 pm #

    I really believe its this capitalist conspiracy by flower peddlers

    Or chocolatiers. . . or card companies. 

    But that’s always what feels inherently false about our holidays. They have ostensible purpose or meaning, each in their own way, but it all takes a second-tier status to the real ‘reason’—to buy more stuff. 

    Valentines? buy flowers and chocolate. Halloween? buy bags and bags of candy—not to mention that plastic skeleton that would look great hanging from your tree. Christmas? yeah, that’s the paramount example. Fourth of July? fireworks. Thanksgiving? an inordinate amount of food. Easter? more candy (and people wonder why we’re overweight as a nation), eggs, those dye tablets you put in vinegar. And in recent years I’ve been considering that they are all perpetuated at the behest of the Peep company, because now you can find not only the little birds, but the little birds in five different colours, pumpkins, bats, and snowmen. 

    Got Father’s Day coming? get him a card, or a watch. Mother’s Day? another card, more flowers. 

    There isn’t any real thought put into the actual celebratory aspects one associates with a holiday. Everyone just puts themselves further into debt and gets a little bit fatter every year accommodating the perverse expectations of receiving something expensive and satisfying their gluttony. Even when it’s featured in the media, or some television special comes on, highlighting the importance of friends and family, and sharing, and togetherness, and all the rest of the sappy, sentimental things are said in the hopes of stirring our souls—or deceiving us into believing we haven’t sold or snuffed them—the day after the holidays all we hear about are the statistics. 

    “Oh, sales were down this Christmas/Holiday Season. People bought less candy. This could really hurt the economy. Yep, stocks are down.”

    It’s like we can’t win. Either we have respect enough to impart some deeper meaning upon a specific day of the year—driving sales numbers down—or we satisfy the ‘great grand capitalist society that makes America the best country in the world’ and slowly edge ever closer to committing suicide because we loose our humanity to the mechanisation of it all. 

    And sometimes I think all these days specifically set aside for even a modicum of revelry—but especially the ‘big ones’—are there precisely to make the workforce ‘feel better’ in the time off they receive, since all the time spent in between one holiday and the next is expected to be devoted to working. It’s treated like an extended coffee/lunch break, or a really long weekend. 

    Damn proles. 

    Until they become conscious they will never rebel, and until after they have rebelled they cannot become conscious. — 1984

    • gwen jackson February 14, 2012 at 5:44 pm #

      lol, pretty much what i was thinking…V-day is capitalist propaganda bullshit, really?
      Unlike Xmas… or the 4th of July… or Thanksgiving… or Columbus Day…thanks for the head’s-up…
      but i do disagree with your feelings that holidays are to make people ‘feel better’ about ‘working so hard’. i think quite the opposite.
      they’re meant to perpetuate and reinforce the capitalist pursuit of an unrealistic and unattainable ideal. all those commercials indoctrinating everyone with desperation to emulate the perfect relationship/family.
      “look how perfect all these other people’s lives are! LOOKLOOKLOOK! shiny! cozy! love! acceptance! sweet! forever! perfectperfectperfect! this is how everyone’s life is…unless YOURS isn’t…”
      the implication is that if your life doesn’t look like what they’re selling (and no one’s does), there’s something wrong with you, but promising that your (imaginary) inadequacy can be remedied with products.
      romance/love/acceptance is just the carrot; the stick is that feeling of inadequacy when you think your life isn’t perfect like it’s supposed to be/like ‘everybody’ else’s, which makes you chase the (imaginary) carrot…

      so they aren’t to make us feel good; they’re to make us feel BAD, so we’ll try to feel better by pursuing whatever they’re selling.
      and they definitely aren’t to make us feel better about “working” lol. if americans work so hard, how come all the jobs are in china? i’ve never seen an american work hard at anything except screwing off.

      • Mr Willow February 14, 2012 at 8:32 pm #

        I didn’t mean to say that in having holidays, we feel better about working. I meant it more as they are there for a release valve, something to break the tedium of constant cycle of five day stint, followed by a weekend, and then another five day stint.

        I do agree with your assessment of holiday advertisements. It’s not something I thought of when writing my comment. 

        “See that in the movies, all the love and caring, and sharing—all that stuff that you don’t have. Well, now you can buy it, and lucky for you, I have that one thing that will make everything perfect.”

        • gwen jackson February 15, 2012 at 9:50 pm #

           Every kiss begins with Kay!
          He went to Jared!
          A diamond is forever!

    • gwen jackson February 14, 2012 at 6:24 pm #

       ps: on halloween? peep ghosts!
      i LOVE the peep ghosts, they taste ghostier than any other peep!

  2. Gcbacon February 14, 2012 at 6:23 pm #

    Any excuse to be a humbug and the scrooges jump. What in our current culture can’t be read as capitalist conspiracy? Have a nice meal, give a gift and fuck your partner. Oh…and get over yourselves and your DULL critiques of holidays.

    • Nunzio X February 14, 2012 at 7:04 pm #

      The critiques may be dull, but the holidays are infinitely duller.

      It’s [name of holiday] again; time to [do socially expected action.]

      Failure to comply = being labeled an asshole.

      • Chaorder Gradient February 14, 2012 at 7:16 pm #

        Its the equation of ritual. Some would think people go mad without any forms of ritual (But no, not us enlightened scientific minded people)

    • gwen jackson February 15, 2012 at 9:54 pm #

      Yeah, do what everybody else does! Because everyone’s supposed to! Failure to comply with mandated revelry shall be scolded and frowned upon! Get off my lawn!

  3. Chaorder Gradient February 14, 2012 at 7:14 pm #

    methinks this is pertinant

    http://xkcd.com/1016/ 

  4. Liam_McGonagle February 14, 2012 at 7:39 pm #

    I’ve always enjoyed celebrating St. Dympna’s day more anyhow.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dympna

  5. romantic February 15, 2012 at 9:08 am #

    Another Valentine’s Day and the cynics are out in full force.

    I understand a lot of people don’t like V’tines because they’re single and it can be a bit of a downer, but I simply cannot tolerate the whining ‘it’s just another excuse for companies/manufacturers to extort money out of you” crowd. Yes, of course shops and companies are going to make a big deal out of the day, because they are businesses. That’s how business works.

    But the point is, NO ONE is forcing you to do or buy anything. My girlfriend and I have celebrated four valentine’s days together now and neither of us has ever spent any money on the holiday.

    Anybody who lacks the imagination to see beyond the cliche of chocolates/cards/balloons/flowers has no one but themselves to blame.

  6. Haystack February 15, 2012 at 9:48 am #

    I’d so much rather buy flowers on my own initiative, and have it be a genuine surprise, than be expected to do it on a particular day. When you take the spontaneity out of the gesture, it just starts to feel like work/pressure. 

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