FBI Urges Coffee Shops To Report Cash-Paying Customers To Authorities

cofeeUse of paper money is a terrorist trait — if you don’t want to be considered suspect, the government commands you to use corporate-issued debit and credit cards, rather than its own currency. Via Boing Boing:

According to a set of guidelines sent out by the FBI as part of its Communities Against Terror program, ordinary citizens need to be on the lookout for suspicious characters who follow patterns of behavior of a covert operative.

The latest revelation from the FBI files? Paying in cash for coffee. The most recent update asks coffee shop owners, baristas and other customer-service specialists to lookout for the enemy who walks among us…Using cash for small purchases like a cup of coffee, gum and other items is a good indication that a person is trying to pass for normal without leaving the kind of paper trail created using a debit or credit card for small purchases.

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69 Responses to FBI Urges Coffee Shops To Report Cash-Paying Customers To Authorities

  1. Redacted March 13, 2012 at 9:57 am #

    Well you know who else drank coffee?! HITLER. Do you want to be like Hitler?

    • Nerf Herder March 13, 2012 at 10:57 am #

      What?!?!  Hitler?!?  Crap, I need to go get a gallon of water to drink and flush out the coffee I had this morning!  Damn you Folgers!  Damn you and the best part of waking up!

    • Calypso_1 March 13, 2012 at 11:23 am #

      Did he take his Java before or after mainlining amphetamines?

  2. MoralDrift March 13, 2012 at 10:11 am #

    its not like they are buying travel tickets or something strange in cash….but gum and coffee…this is just stupid. usually this crap is scary but this just seems incompetent

    • Robert S March 13, 2012 at 4:30 pm #

      It sounds like some nobody is trying to find ways to make him/herself look busy and relevant.  

    • Eric March 13, 2012 at 8:13 pm #

       It is worse than incompetence.  It’s Nazi level politics. 

      Almost as bad as being molested in the airports by Franken-Sis’s Perverts-R-US.

    • Mark Bert March 14, 2012 at 2:38 pm #

       While this does seem obviously incompetent it must further someone’s goals in some way.  I could think of many goals that this may further, but then again I wear a foil hat.  Foil armor also has many benefits.

  3. eric e. (esquared) March 13, 2012 at 10:13 am #

    The thing is, some coffee shops have a minimum amount for debit/credit cards. See, now that’s a terrorist act and should be reported to the F.B.I.

    • El fork March 13, 2012 at 5:47 pm #

      Yeah, my coffee shop wont do debit/credit under $5.00, and it’s only a buck for coffee. Am I super suspicious if I pay in change?

  4. Steelfalcon March 13, 2012 at 10:29 am #

    Funny thing is, many if not most coffee shops where I live are cash only.

    • Robert S March 13, 2012 at 4:32 pm #

      Hmmm, do you think they’re a front for terrorists.  Obviously they’re trying to gather a large amount of funds in untraceable cash.  Better put 50 guys on them.  /s

  5. Steelfalcon March 13, 2012 at 10:32 am #

    Thing is, may if not most coffee shops where I live are cash only.

  6. Charleskealy March 13, 2012 at 10:55 am #

    every single time you swipe your debit card the merchant is charge a swipe fee and 2-3% that goes to a credit card processing company that is backed by a bank like well fargo or BOA.

    Banking 101

    • Nerf Herder March 13, 2012 at 11:01 am #

      So which pro sports team will be the first to have a stadium named after the behind the scenes bank funded FBI?  

      • Johnnyutah March 13, 2012 at 1:20 pm #

        The Detroit Debits sounds like a solid team name to me.

  7. photo_journ March 13, 2012 at 11:05 am #

    The words “US intelligence agency” remains an oxymoron

  8. Calypso_1 March 13, 2012 at 11:12 am #

    I only pay cash on Starbucks open carry days.

  9. ChristopherDemilio March 13, 2012 at 11:23 am #

    This article is bullshit.

    • Jin The Ninja March 13, 2012 at 1:31 pm #


  10. Liam_McGonagle March 13, 2012 at 11:47 am #

    Using old-fashioned paper currency costs America over $3 Trillion per year*–$3 Trillion that could have been used to provide aging veterans with life-saving medications and cat food.

    So, patriots, remember the next time you leave home, take your debit card with you.  Because Uncle Sam DOES take Mastercard(tm):


    *U. S. Bureau of Totally Unverifiable Statistics

  11. Totalitarian Nightmare March 13, 2012 at 12:01 pm #

    You all at like this is a joke. It’s not. You do not want to know what the terrorist are capable of with gum and espresso, if they haven’t shut all the information down already.  Whups, said too much already, I’m probably on a watch list now,  I guess I better start packing my bags for the FEMA camp.

  12. SF2K01 March 13, 2012 at 12:08 pm #

    If you pay in cash, what can they report? They still don’t have your name and all the other information that goes with using a credit card on file automatically.

  13. RayD March 13, 2012 at 12:41 pm #

    Coffee shops should start reporting the FBI to their customers.  Like the FBI’s very real involvement in the 1993 WTC bombing, the FBI’s threats to police in the Oklahoma City bombing and their latest assault on the republic thru gun running to Mexico’s narco gangs.

    There *are* terrorists in the US.  And every one of those terrorists are a part of the mafia pretending to be our government.

  14. NoahWay March 13, 2012 at 12:45 pm #

    You can tell far more about a person from the kind of coffee they drink than how they pay for it.

    over sugared = addict

    flavored or fancy blends = nouveau riche, a poser

    latte = gay

    double / triple espresso = ready to commit a heinous act

    • Jin The Ninja March 13, 2012 at 1:31 pm #

      that list is quite the stupidest interpretation of coffee drinks.

      • Ceausescu March 13, 2012 at 3:02 pm #

         I think that was the purpose :P

        • Jin The Ninja March 13, 2012 at 3:48 pm #

          i ‘m not sure.

          • DeepCough March 13, 2012 at 10:05 pm #

            Well, someone didn’t have their skinny soy latte today.

          • Jin The Ninja March 13, 2012 at 10:39 pm #

            lol. i’d never drink that.

          • Hadrian999 March 13, 2012 at 10:41 pm #

             what about this http://rogue.com/beers/voodoo-bacon-maple.php

          • Jin The Ninja March 13, 2012 at 11:36 pm #

            lol. well i don’t drink beer,but i’ll try anything once. and i do love maple.

          • Hadrian999 March 13, 2012 at 11:53 pm #

            I do drink beer and i wouldn’t touch that stuff

    • WhiteDwarfStain March 13, 2012 at 7:24 pm #

      true addicts don’t put no sugar 

    • The Doctor March 20, 2012 at 9:08 am #

      black coffee == hacker

    • Dipstick Enlightener March 21, 2012 at 10:07 am #

      I drink scotch and smoke cigars, and I am a heterosexual woman. According to you, I’m either a dyke or an old Texan with a big hat. Get real.

    • hazelnuts! April 9, 2012 at 3:31 pm #

      2 sugars and some creamer please

  15. Phantom March 13, 2012 at 12:48 pm #

    So they are now labeling the Poor as having Terrorist Traits?  Most poor may not be able to have a credit card or debit card.  Now they’re gonna be put on a Terrorist List?  The Government is fearing it’s own people and is going to make enemies of a large group of people.

    • The Doctor March 20, 2012 at 9:08 am #

      Not just the poor, but those of us who don’t feel like hauling our debit cards out to pay $2 for a cup of coffee.  Plus, most coffee shops don’t let you put the tip on your card, so you need cash for that anyway.

  16. zobop republic March 13, 2012 at 12:59 pm #

    Paper money is NOT a terrorist trait!  It just means you don’t have a bank account.  Duh!

  17. RWT March 13, 2012 at 1:27 pm #

    This is old news. But yeah, the FBI is a terrorist organization run like a mafia, and the CIA is al-qaeda. So how do we stop terrorists when the terrorists are the ones hired to stop themselves?  

  18. Jin The Ninja March 13, 2012 at 1:30 pm #

    the only indie coffee shop in my ‘hood is cash only. 

  19. Amerikagulag March 13, 2012 at 1:43 pm #

    However…..The FBI was unavailable for comment about the PALLETS of hundred dollar bills shipped over to Iraq shortly after the illegal invasion an occupation, and just WHO might be the terrorists who provided them.

    • Kenneth Groves March 18, 2012 at 6:41 pm #

       Paul Bremmer gave 10 people in Iraq 4 to 23 pallets of US money each. (24.5 M$ each) When asked by a congressional committee who he gave it to he said “I don’t know.” then told them he didn’t have to answer to them and left. Seriously, look it up.

  20. DeepCough March 13, 2012 at 2:33 pm #

    Well, come on, what’s the government supposed to do with the War on Terror after killing Osama, shut it down? That would cost us jobs!

  21. foxyman March 13, 2012 at 3:59 pm #

     THANK GOD we have these law enforcement hotshots watching over this USA. LOL, I swear, these guys are so desperate it funny. I ONLY use cash, I will not participate in the credit card/bank ongoing scam. I am a 100% true blue American veteran and patriot, but this kind of stupidity make me embarrassed. These “agents” couldn’t find tit’s in a strip club, much less terrorists in coffee shops.

  22. Robert S March 13, 2012 at 4:28 pm #

    Dear God they’ve become paranoid.  Could it be that people who behave in “normal” ways do so because they are “normal”?  

  23. margaretbartley March 13, 2012 at 4:41 pm #

    Internet cafes are not the same thing as coffee shops!

  24. Mark O'Ryan March 13, 2012 at 4:54 pm #

    The FBI is the American Stasi, both
    having the continuation of their respective governments as their
    broad and primary reason for existence, that is, while the FBI
    proclaims to be a law enforcement body, it is the internal security
    apparatus of the United States, and like the Stasi, the FBI conducts
    itself through lawful means to detect, identify and neutralize any
    internal threat to the regime and colludes with prosecutors and
    judges to ensure it’s cases are successful.

    We learned the NSA installed Internet
    monitoring appliances in AT&T facilities, but who would would
    investigate the fruits of that surveillance? The FBI, particularly
    the FBI National Security Division. The FBI conducts
    investigations on the barest hint of subversion.  The FBI, as
    part of the DOJ, colludes with federal prosecutors and federal judges
    to produce convictions to neutralize all threats to the corrupt
    government, and the Elites.  The FBI maintains the status quo
    that we see with Wall Street executives and their partners in
    government, it protects the Elites and their interests (i.e. RIAA).

    It will stop at nothing to preserve
    the Federal government no matter how corrupt that government becomes,
    because the National Security also includes domestic unrest, civil
    disobedience, internal subversion and revolution. Governments cannot
    flourish in anarchy, and the FBI provides the “Law and Order”
    needed for the U.S. Government to continue.  The FBI,
    like internal security agency, has used and continues to employ all
    the artifices of internal security: investigation, informants, deception, collusion, surveillance and intimidation. 
    Since the 1960′s the FBI has demonstrated it is an oppressive
    security apparatus on par with the KGB, the Stasi, MI5 and every totaltarian regime.

    The FBI is not to be respected, obeyed
    or held in any high esteem. It is to be feared for what it is, the
    internal security body of a corrupt government that deserves
    only our contempt.

    • lrshiver3 March 14, 2012 at 5:25 pm #

      W-O-W, that blew me away. You nailed it perfectly!!!

  25. Surrealias March 13, 2012 at 9:55 pm #

    I just don’t see why anyone has a problem with the FBI doing this. I mean, coffee is a drug and should probably be made illegal due to its abuse, it’s plain as day! Just get a credit card with some RFID info imbedded in it and you can feel safe about all this.

    “What’s wrong with having it good for a change? Now they’re gonna let us have it good if we just help ‘em. They’re gonna leave us alone, let us make some money. You can have a little taste of that good life too. Now, I know you want it. Hell, everybody does.”

    “What’s the threat? We all sell out every day, might as well be on the winning team.”

    Quotes from ‘They Live’ :D

  26. Doop March 13, 2012 at 11:02 pm #

    American coffee is an act of terrorism. You guys got you fair share of Italian immigrants, what happened?

  27. Chaos is my dogs name March 14, 2012 at 1:01 am #

    I pay cash for many reasons, the banks not knowing what I spent my money on is just a bonus.  I don’t like to pay 15 cents, 45 cents or more just for the right to spend my money using a card that is linked to my bank account.     If they want to charge a fee for using plastic, I won’t use plastic, it’s the principal of the deal.  gouging us for ever more of our money any way they can.

    I pay cash at the feed store and save a buck a bale on hay for my horses.   I don’t need gas, I need grass. : )

  28. Marklar_Prime March 14, 2012 at 6:19 am #

    Damn, next thing you know they will require we pay with credit cards to purchase crayons and I won’t be able to outwit them by drawing strategically placed open man holes and train tunnels when the FBI are trying to tail me.

  29. Cal Fire News March 14, 2012 at 1:49 pm #

    The security Theater curtain is torn, the stage is littered with broken civil rights and the actors apparently brain damaged…

  30. Alan W White March 14, 2012 at 1:58 pm #

    you knew this was coming! I always expected that, couched in “safety”, we need to make this a cashless society. The Elites want 100% control of your existence, you are a threat to theirs

  31. Lorili March 14, 2012 at 5:05 pm #

    How do you report someone paying cash?  “He was tall, wore jeans and ordered it black with extra sugar.”  “OK, we’ll be on the lookout for him.”

    • uninformedLuddite March 15, 2012 at 4:30 am #

       You tell one of your super-patriot customers that that guy is suspicious and it is their duty to the state to follow them to wherevert hey are going before reporting it to a TIPS hotline. You probably don’t have to worry about that even as once the school system is finished with the latest recruits the little tykes will be reporting their parents for un-patriotic thinking.

    • Kenneth Groves March 18, 2012 at 6:43 pm #

       Security cameras catch every customer who walks up to the counter in most franchise shops in America. Don’t worry, they can ID you.

  32. Brian March 14, 2012 at 5:25 pm #

    The goal is to make EVERYONE a terrorist. That way they can round up anyone they want at anytime without having a reason. Its already started and will get worse over time. Of course nobody will do or say anything about it until they come for them. It will be too late then. Enjoy. 

    • Kenneth Groves March 18, 2012 at 6:37 pm #

       That was one of the prime goals of the ‘War On Drugs’.

  33. Unpolitically Correct March 14, 2012 at 7:35 pm #

    you gotta be kidding me, is anyone at the wheel?????????????????????????

  34. John Fiorella March 14, 2012 at 8:52 pm #


  35. btfire March 15, 2012 at 10:20 am #

    Using a Federal Reserve note is now a sign of terrorism.  Actually, it seems fitting that the Federal Reserve would be seen as a terrorist organization.

  36. The Doctor March 20, 2012 at 9:14 am #

    The somewhat frightening thing is that this is starting to have some effect in some areas.  I’ve been going from coffee shop to coffee shop in my area to watch what’s going on and get a feel for things, and it’s a little disconcerting to see two or three cops walk in and stand by the doors glaring at everyone.  Those of us who sit with our backs against the wall seem to catch a fair load of stink eye from them (one of the things mentioned in the DHS flyer posted to Public Intelligence a few weeks ago).  Some of the baristas (no pattern to them that I can tell) are definitely paying way more attention to people who pay in cash.  So far I haven’t seen anyone hassled for openly using or advocating for privacy technologies (like showing up in a Tor t-shirt), nor has anyone I’ve spoken to about this.

  37. Paul E Goodfellow Jr March 27, 2012 at 4:44 pm #

    The F.B.I. knows that terrorists can’t make their own Coffee:)

  38. Riffraftjones April 1, 2012 at 8:14 pm #

    mormon presidential candidate.   and move against coffee drinkers. coincidence.. 

    how is the coffeeshop going to get the info , ask  for id.   no id. call the fbi,   lock them away as an enemy combatant .  it is the law. anyone can be held indefinitely without trial or forced to work for free if the prsident decides it is in the national inerest,   youre a terrorrist now for not using the visa nework? talk about paranoia.  you can force compliance but  not belief.  

  39. Ms Smith June 15, 2012 at 11:26 am #

    Gtfi….hoe much more ridiculous can the US be?

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