‘My Real Mother is a Green Alien’ Claims Labour Politician

Simon ParkesVia the Northern Echo:

A Labour politician has stunned his town council colleagues by claiming his “real mother” is a 9ft green alien with eight fingers.

Councillor Simon Parkes, who was elected to represent Stakesby ward on Whitby Town Council last month, said although he has had hundreds of close encounters with extra-terrestrials, it will not interfere with his mission to help residents at the seaside resort.

Speaking on YouTube, Coun Parkes said he first saw an alien at the age of eight months, when “a traditional kite-shaped face”, with huge eyes, tiny nostrils and a thin mouth appeared over his cot.

He said: “Two green stick things came in. I was aware of some movement over my head. I thought, ‘they’re not mummy’s hands, mummy’s hands are pink’.”

Read More: Northern Echo

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  • Alex

    My mother has eight fingers as well. And two thumbs.

  • Ceausescu

     I don’t know what’s more ridiculous: the fact that he thinks his mother is an alien, or that he remembers seeing an alien when he was 8 months old.

  • Redacted

    The Father of all Humans is the Emperor, and anyone who denies this is a Heretic and his entire planet and all people on it must be burned to erase his taint.