Living With The Jesus Of Siberia

The Church of the Last Testament is equipped with solar energy, vegetable gardens, and trampolines, money is meaningless, and children sing pop songs and chase after adorable animals. As far as 21st-century Jesus reincarnations, this has to be one of the most convincing:

Deep in Siberia’s Taiga forest is Vissarion, a cult leader who looks like Jesus and claims to be the voice of God. He’s known as “the Teacher” to his 4,000 followers…who [possess an] unflinching belief in UFOs and the Earth’s imminent demise.

  • Pb

    What absolute twaddle.  Everybody knows Jesus is black.  Also American.

    • Anarchy Pony

      With beautiful flowing cornrows.

  • Heath

    “Yes my child?”
    “If money is meaningless, why do I have a pocket full of quarters?”

    • Jin The Ninja

      ‘oh why to stick in a sock, and beat the money changers with.’

  • DeepCough

    Bill Hicks quote #1015:

    “How come nobody ever snaps and thinks they’re Buddha?”

    • X1170x

      Because Buddha was fat, monks are smart and Christians are crazy.  

      • John

         Buddha was not fat. You are confusing him with another. Everything else I agree with though.

  • Buddah


  • Paracelsius

    “The harmony will punish her with a woman disease” 

  • jamonbo

    Was thinking how it might be moving to Siberia … until Tanya Denisova explained the rules.

  • Atlas322

    This further lends credence to the idea that their are people who just need someone to tell them what to do and in whom to believe. The “sheep” of his flock are such weak minded people. Most churches follow similar styles. Weak minded people listening not to their own interpretations of their religion, but to authority figures such as priests and pastors. People like being told what to believe, it mainly comes down to convenience. Why think when someone’s already done all the thinking for you?