Chimps Construct Ladder, Escape From German Zoo

Watch your back, because the zoo animals we imprison are plotting against us and growing smarter by the day. Is it morally acceptable to hold in bondage creatures intelligent enough to craft tools and devise a path to freedom? Via Digital Journal:

Five chimps caused panic at a German zoo after they escaped using a ladder constructed out of tree branches. In a separate incident, police in Las Vegas shot and killed a chimp and tranquilized another after they escaped.

  • Xurugg

    Someone gave them that one stuff from that thing with the guy

  • BuzzCoastin

    cutbacks at the zoo
    forced the chimps to escape to wall street
    (better cages, higher wages and lots of big bananas)
    the head chimp now runs derivative trading for golden sacks

    • Anarchy Pony

      Easily outperforming his human predecessor.

      • BuzzCoastin

        well you know studies have shown that
        humans and Capuchin monkeys make very similar financial decsions
        and that the data for monkeys & humans is indistinguishable
        but these monkey’s were so smart
        they couldn’t help but do better than humans

  • Monkey See Monkey Do

    One of them has been caught on video shouting NO! after being told to go back in their cage

  • zombieslapper

    Zoos are depressing places to be. I have always thought so. Even the higher end zoos that attempt to recreate the habitat of its captives. Can we quit pretending zoos are educational? They’re little more than animal prisons built for our entertainment. 

  • arghh

    that is so fucking sad! 

  • Not me

    Meh don’t feel strongly about this. In the wild chimps eat each other and wage primate war (wanted to say monkey war), the zoo offers a less intense and savage lifestyle , not natural but not brutal. We need to teach them to make real products and pay taxes. 

  • M.

    I’ll be impressed when they learn how to leave snide comments on internet sites.

  • Coachgdr

    Interesting that all they did was walk around a bit, and they visited the giraffes before returning on their own to their area, all within an hour.  They did not attempt to escape the zoo, just wanted to visit their friends the giraffes. 

    • M.

      It seems that one of the chimps wanted to visit the gorillas too.

  • Haystack

    …and to discourage further dissent, the Germans shot one zoo animal from each cage. 

  • Fum Vroor

    Fuck the story, this is the best headline I´ve read in decades.