Louisiana Schools To Teach That Evolution Is False, Loch Ness Monster Is Real

Publicly funded bible-based high schools in Louisiana will teach biology students that dinosaurs were created six thousand years ago, and that one still lives in a lake in Scotland, the Scotsman is amazed to report:

Thousands of American school pupils are to be taught that the Loch Ness monster is real – in an attempt by religious teachers to disprove Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution. Pupils attending privately-run Christian schools in the southern state of Louisiana will learn from textbooks next year, which claim Scotland’s most famous mythological beast is a living creature. Thousands of children are to receive publicly-funded vouchers enabling them to attend the schools – which follow a strict fundamentalist curriculum.

One… textbook called Biology 1099  reads: “Are dinosaurs alive today? Scientists are becoming more convinced of their existence. Have you heard of the Loch Ness Monster in Scotland? ‘Nessie’ for short has been recorded on sonar from a small submarine, described by eyewitnesses, and photographed by others. Nessie appears to be a plesiosaur.” Another claim taught is that a Japanese whaling boat once caught a dinosaur.

Boston-based researcher and writer Bruce Wilson, who specialises in the American political religious right, said: “One of these texts… claims that dinosaurs were fire-breathing dragons. It has little to do with science as we currently understand. It’s more like medieval scholasticism.”

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  • Anarchy Pony

    There aren’t enough face palm pics on the internet…

  • http://hormeticminds.blogspot.com/ Chaorder Gradient

    I had a friend that went to a high school that “taught” evolution like this, I explained it in 5 minutes and she said “oh, that actually doesn’t sound as ridiculous as I thought”

    I always imagine she got this speach(ooh, i found it with visual aids):
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9_5dAZBC1I&feature=related 

    • http://www.ContraControl.com/ Zenc

      Funny how most people who think they are “against Evolution” often don’t even understand enough about it to explain why they disagree.

      I frequently take the time to “properly” explain it to people using words, concepts, and examples that they can understand, apparently like you did with your friend. Nearly everyone who has given me the opportunity to talk to them about it has realized that there’s nothing particularly controversial about about the various concepts. The problem generally arises when trying to integrate the scientific principles of Evolution with a person’s pre-existing religious faith.

      In that regard, I hedge. Rather than using Evolution as an explanation for the origins of all life, I simply suggest that Evolution explains the diversity of life on our planet, why many animal species are similar, why there are fossils of animals which are now extinct, etc.

      Then, I suggest that if they believe God made this planet and the life on it, even “he” would need a process for doing so. Why couldn’t that process be Evolution? There’s enough change going on in the world (even with animals) that it’s easy to demonstrate that some sort of creative action is still taking place.

      As long as I don’t try to use Evolution as an explanation for the origin of life, most times I’ll get the person to agree that at least in theory Evolution makes some sense and may work as an explanation of the incremental changes seen in animals over time. A small victory, but I have reason to hope that once they’re familiar enough with the theory to understand that each part of it is pretty much common sense by itself, they’ll be more likely to accept the entire truth of it at a later time.

      I even have a deeply religious Christian friend who at least now agrees that Evolution may apply to the lower animals, but can’t accept that the process applies to humans. The Bible says otherwise and so Evolution doesn’t happen with people. And you know what, I just let that slide.

      Btw, good job spanking that Vegan nut. She was certainly in the wrong intellectual weight class for that bout.

      • Monkey See Monkey Do

        Yeah I’ve never understood the controversy over evolution, to be honest I think its only controversial for inbred hicks who have been watching too much Benny Hinn. Evolution doesn’t deny the possibilty of an intelligent designer, but a 2,000 year old book doesn’t prove it either.

        Your friend might find solace in that we are a highly unique, intelligent and complex animal. Pertaining to this fact doesn’t rule out a possible intervention by some higher complex and higher intelligent animal (or a ‘god’ in other words).

        • TennesseeCyberian

          Benny Hinn was extremely successful all over the world.

          Some of the strongest resistance to Darwinism comes out of Islam.

          So the inbred hicks aren’t alone.

          • Monkey See Monkey Do

            Well fundamentalists of any religion are going to strongly resist anything that challenges their reality tunnel.

            And yeah, inbred hicks are a global phenomenon.

          • JaceD

            Benny who?

          • DeepCough

            Benny Hinn: one of the biggest evangelical swindlers on the fucking planet, the kind of guy who makes out like a bandit in ways that Wall St wishes it could.

          • JaceD

            Yeh, so no one important then. Money worship isn’t really that big here, but neither is religion so meh.

          • TennesseeCyberian

            Benny Hinn. One of the most successful charlatans of all time. His hair in the 80s looks like a neon shorts wearing surfer should be riding his bangs.

            Good man.

          • JaceD

            Sounds like an awesome human, where do I post my cheque?

      • Len

        Why even try to explain evolution to a creationist? These adults are like children who have read one “book” too many times. Bottom line is: no evolution = god; evolution = no god.
        I’m just pissed that any public funds go towards this propaganda.

        • http://www.ContraControl.com/ Zenc

          The reason I try is that sometimes it is successful.

          Many people who don’t accept Evolution aren’t active Creationists. Sometimes they’re people who had shitty science teachers. Sometimes they’re people who rejected without understanding, the arguments for Evolution, due to a Faith which they are no longer so fervent in.

          There are a number of reasons that a person may be interested and capable of learning about Evolution now even though they weren’t in the past.

  • USA Teaching Ignorance

    The country is filled with so called educated people already. The education system is already laughable in this country, this is just icing on the cake of ignorance. 

  • The only thing to get is money

    OK…time to leave the planet. *hops on spaceship and departs the planet earth*

  • I’m only half serious

    Dinosaurs are alive today. We call them Birds.

    • chinagreenelvis

      I call them “Mom” and “Dad.”

      • I’m only half serious

        Fair enough lol

    • Nessie Paterno

      Shut up and feed me your tasty christian boys

  • DeepCough

    Let me get this straight: Louisiana students are going to be taught in private Christian schools that the known hoax of the “Loch Ness Monster” disproves the thoroughly substantiated scientific theory of natural selection purported by Charles Darwin in his landmark biology text “The Origin of Species?”

    Boy, I wonder what Bill would say about this:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrZcztxRquo

    • Anarchy Pony

      Privately run, but publicly funded. God bless america!

      • DeepCough

        Wait, that wasn’t an error? Goddammit.

    • JoevL

       ”Known hoax”!?! Nessie is for real and there’s a whole bunch of people running companies up around Loch Ness that will corroborate this fact. ;)

      • JoevL

        In fact. here in Scotland we welcome this news and hope that more A-merican schools teach the truth about Nessie… we could do with a few more tourist dollars.

        • Srmack

          Nice try but we use pound notes in Scotland. Thankfully Loch Ness isn’t quite surrounded by tacky souvenir shops like it would be if it was located in the US. People visit Loch Ness for the scenery and the legend. Nobody expects to actually see a monster and I can assure you nobody is trying to convince anyone that it’s real, unless they maybe had a bit too much malt.

          • I’m only half serious

            Too much malt and some nice scenery is actually the reason I would visit Scotland.

          • damg

             yaaaay mair scottish people on here. i didny think there were any after Gemma disappeared! As for the story – i am of course the least patriotic Scottish man ever, although i find this quite offensive considering the same fundies were up for boycotting us for freeing Al Megrahi. You Americans want to see real evolutionary proof? come over here to Glasgow and spend the night in Linwood or Springburn – Social Darwinism at it’s finest…

          • JoevL

             …or come down to Ayrshire where I live, you can also find proof round these parts that challenge this theory:

            http://www.usnews.com/science/articles/2009/09/23/evolution-is-irreversible

  • http://buzzcoastin.posterous.com BuzzCoastin

    could this piece of misinformation be any worse
    than most of the scholastic content found in text books
    all schools are designed to turn students into good, mindless, obedient, workers
    propaganda is the main tools for this process
    which is why they call it
    The Land of the Free

    • Draculoid

       platitudes like this are a dime a dozen on disinfo. you say “all schools”…is that worldwide? then you make a dig at the U.S. with “The Land of the Free”…so is it mainly american schools that are indoctrination centers? this school in Louisiana not withstanding, what is this great alternative that no one talks about when criticizing the current system? critical thinking needs much greater emphasis…but what else? what specifically needs to be changed?

      • Anarchy Pony

        Yes, because this is an academic reform forum, full of leading experts and luminaries. Jesus christ. There are all sorts of alternatives, forgive us for not offering you a comprehensive list and complete summary of all of them.

        • Draculoid

           you’re absolutely right, this isn’t an educational reform forum, and yet posters are completely willing to make sweeping, generalized criticisms of the educational system, complete with an air of elitism as though they’re well ahead of the curve. i don’t expect an itemized list, but if someone is going to say that “all schools are designed to turn students into good, mindless, obedient, workers”, then they must have at least one or two ideas about what is being done wrong and what can be done better. homeschooling, maybe? who is getting the text books right? anyone?

      • http://buzzcoastin.posterous.com BuzzCoastin

         thanks for making my point for me
        and your edumacation was received where?

        • Guess Who?

          In the Deep South
          Where circumcisions are done
          By his Sister’s mouth

          • Draculoid

             is that your buddy up there? you guys have things figured out, right? so maybe you or he could come up with some points instead of being dismissive and utilizing appeals to ridicule.

          • http://twitter.com/Gflo54 just flo

            that is not needed,shame on you .for being so sad and ignorant.

          • http://twitter.com/Gflo54 just flo

            that is not needed,shame on you .for being so sad and ignorant.

        • Draculoid

           nice thought-terminating cliché you have there. how about you share where you received your
          “edumacation”, so we can follow in the great example of this bastion
          of academic standards.

          • http://buzzcoastin.posterous.com BuzzCoastin

            I went to Stake in the Heart College
            got my PhD at Silver Bullet U

            give me your email and I’ll send you my CV

  • Linsang811

     OH MY GOD! THIS IS SHOCKING! Oh wait, it’s Louisiana. Nevermind.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/KOAIPMHOHAR6BEYV5S344DPCJY Celia

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    • Rev Russdick

      fuck off, spambot

      • Anarchy Pony

        don’t respond to it!

      • http://www.ContraControl.com/ Zenc

        Yep, don’t respond, just flag it using the small flag icon that’s on down on the same line as the “time since post” and the “like” and “Reply” buttons.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Iaminnocenttheblood-Ofthisjustmanyouseetoit/100002857705077 Iaminnocenttheblood Ofthisjust

    There’s a neat Newgrounds game “Operation Pedo Priest” where you play Vatican special agents who protect perverted priests as they molest children (covered by priest’s robes) by intimidating victims, witnesses, distracting the law…  Strangely can’t just beat the priests away from the kiddies…

    But in the background in one of the levels is a classroom and on the blackboard it has a diagram of the Earth and the Sun with a circle showing the SUN revolves around the Earth…:-)

    Now this here is good ol’ fashioned “Revival” American Protestant garbage.  But still as stupid and primitive.

    The “Theory of Evolution” certainly counts for “Living Fossils” and plenty have been found.  It is not “Remarkable” to have creatures from many millions of years surviving.  Forget the Ceolocanth, we’d not have (well perhaps that’s not bad) Cockroaches, bamboo, palm trees, etc.  Lots of very successful “Primitive” organisms around, like the Shark.  It doesn’t matter how “Old” an organism is, just if it survives.

  • Tchoutoye

    To be fair, believing in the existence of the Loch Ness monster is a major leap forward towards rationality and common sense compared to believing in virgin births and literal resurrections from the dead.

    • Taan Maat

      The bible describes alien beings, it’s really mind blowing if you approach it in the right direction.

      • Anarchy Pony

        The bible describes nonsense too, it’s really mind numbing if you approach it in the right direction.

        • Taan Maat

           You think you are elite or educated or advanced or free or something
          because “religion is bullshit”. your attitude is Bullshit and you just
          can’t approach certain things if you believe you already know everything
          about them.

          Nonsense like what? soon, we will learn from science that nonsense does not exist. virgin births? possible. Teleportation? possible. Nothing’s impossible that is described in the bible. I’m not a “christian”. I understand that ultimately it was the Universe that made all the religious notions, books etc. I also understand what that means when it is applied to unsavory things in life.

          tiny minded fool.. and a brony, even worse. LAFFO.

          • Dave Kilby

            Nonsense like yhwh creating over 200,000,000,000 galaxies with an average of over 100,000,000,000 stars each in one day.

            Nonsense like a world wide flood with waters reaching the tops of the Himalayas 6 miles up that nobody else alive at the time noticed and for which there is no credible evidence.

            Nonsense like the earth stopped spinning at 1000 miles an hour and then restarting the next day. Nobody else noticed that one either. Of course, they’d all be dead anyway if it actually happened.

            Nonsense like the 15 mentions of dragons in the bible, not to mention the satyrs, the unicorns, the cockatrices, etc.

            Nonsense like the Plagues of Egypt that seemed to escape the notice of the Egyptians at the time. Gee, at least you would think they might have noticed the death of all the first borns.

            The list goes on and on, but I’m out of time, space and patience.

            I suggest you read “The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Mythology of Creationism” at “grumblesfromanoldgrouch.com”. You might actually learn something if that’s even possible.

          • Taan Maat

            groans…. I believe in evolution and “creationism”. both quite compatible with each other. its the egotistical pricks who sit on top of what they know about science and hate on religion that piss me off.

  • Taan Maat

    science and spirituality are the twin gauntlets of able realization

  • my5c

    I live in South Africa, a 3rd world
    country on the tip of Africa.If this is whats going on in the
    USA, i fear for my daughter and her future in this world.Stop the
    planet, i want to get off :| 

    • Taan Maat

      Hahaha, I wouldn’t be talking. S. Africa isn’t exactly a shining display of right thinking either.

      • my5c

         Taan Maat, thats my point! SA is so far behind, if this is going on in the US.. what hope is there for us?

  • rhobere

    why stop there? Considering you don’t even need to get into science at all to contradict your young-earth crap, why pick on evolution? I mean, we have hard historical evidence of humans living beyond 4000 BCE, like written language and such. Do these schools teach that history is also made up? Do they teach that museums are a lie? I mean the Louvre contains Hamurabi’s code from nearly 10000 BCE. By extrapolation, does France even exist in these peoples’ minds?

  • Dave Kilby

    Sadly, I’ve come to expect this sort of drivel from the “Religious Wrong”.

    If you’re interested in a great common sense (and rather humorous) takedown of creationism, check out “The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Mythology of Creationism” at “grumblesfromanoldgrouch.com”.

  • Tiger

     This is a false story. There is one school that a parent can CHOOSE to use a voucher for that uses this text book. The vast majority of private schools in Louisiana are top notch and many are not religious. The vast majority of religious ones are Catholic and teach standard college prep – albeit much more effectively than the public schools. Nice propaganda piece, though.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Frank-Rigal/609595651 Frank Rigal
  • annuvin

    …and yet I still wonder, why am I not a billionaire.

  • http://twitter.com/Gflo54 just flo

    Louisiana is totally owned and run by the GOP curently. The GOP loves the Church ,because they are easily brain washed. Anything that causes open dialogue is easily squashed ,JUST call all of the preachers together for a meeting .Blow lots of Political sounding promises up their tush ,everyone goes home happy. then they USE the POWER of their PULPIT to brainwash the people,INTO submission. IF you can scare the HELL out of people ,they control rather nicely. BIG NEWS FLASH. when you die and go to meet our creator .YOU WALK ALONE. YES I fully believe God is my creator,But EVERY MAN/WOMAN IS SUBJECT TO AND ENSLAVED BY HIS OR HER OWN FLESH.AND you are responcible for your own thoughts and the works of your own hands.FOLLOW GOD ,not MANKIND.IF you are not walking in the spirit of GOD .You are lost. Following people will get YOU LOST.

  • http://twitter.com/Gflo54 just flo

    Louisiana is totally owned and run by the GOP curently. The GOP loves the Church ,because they are easily brain washed. Anything that causes open dialogue is easily squashed ,JUST call all of the preachers together for a meeting .Blow lots of Political sounding promises up their tush ,everyone goes home happy. then they USE the POWER of their PULPIT to brainwash the people,INTO submission. IF you can scare the HELL out of people ,they control rather nicely. BIG NEWS FLASH. when you die and go to meet our creator .YOU WALK ALONE. YES I fully believe God is my creator,But EVERY MAN/WOMAN IS SUBJECT TO AND ENSLAVED BY HIS OR HER OWN FLESH.AND you are responcible for your own thoughts and the works of your own hands.FOLLOW GOD ,not MANKIND.IF you are not walking in the spirit of GOD .You are lost. Following people will get YOU LOST.