Portland PD Arrest Bearded “Dudes” Walking Across Bridge with Assault Rifle

Portland Police responded to an anxious 911 call reporting a group of bearded men in camouflage – one of whom was carrying an assault rifle – walking across the Burnside Bridge. The men were stopped and arrested without incident. Upon questioning, the men claimed that they were on their way to a photo shoot to benefit breast cancer awareness.

Several of the men told KATU News they were on their way to take a photo under the “Portland, Oregon” sign near the Burnside Bridge to raise money for breast cancer research. The men said the photo was going to be part of a Beards for Breasts calendar.

“It’s from Seattle,” said Jedediah Aacker. “This girl, Sugar June, does it. She puts together a calendar for all the beard clubs around the nation. Beards for Breasts.”

Someone called police when they saw one of the men holding a rifle on the bridge.

“We were wearing camo gear and stuff walking up to do the shoot and sure enough police show up, boom, arrested us,” said Aacker. “We were just a bunch of dudes walking across the bridge wearing camo getting rad.”

It’s unclear why the men needed the assault rifle or why they thought it would be a good idea to brandish it on a public thoroughfare, but one of the men, Matthew Jenkins, offered a priceless response to reporters on the scene:

“We didn’t mean to shake up the community or shut down the Burnside Bridge,” said Matthew Jenkins. “Just trying to save boobs, you know?”

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  • Henry Stamper

    the dream of the nineties IS alive in portland

  • Miracles

    Sorry, what’s the problem?  It wasn’t a concealed weapon.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=25400264 Karl Amundson

    I feel like this is profiling, that’s still wrong right?

  • Anarchy Pony

    o_____0 

    Wut? This is just so outlandish… 

  • mole_face

    No wonder police got suspicious – it’s not every day that you see bearded duded walking around in Portland.

    • mole_face

      Duded = dudes.

      Not only does my typo make this comment an automatic internet humor fail, but I’ve also revealed that I go back to check if my “witty” comments get liked.

      I’m so petty.

  • Bruteloop

    Wearing kevlar is patriotic?

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