R.I.P. Neil Armstrong, 1930-2012

Astronaut Neil Armstrong has died today, the result of complications from a cardiac procedure. He was 82. Rest in Peace.


It was a typical day in junior physics class at Point Cordial High when things took a turn... to the atypical! Mild-mannered Breshvic's seething distaste of physics broke through its last tensile straw as the very fabric of spacetime holding him in place tore like the flimsy wet blouse of an amateur porn artist! Young Breshvic found himself disembodied, floating wildly in a place with no shape or form, but more directions than previously revealed to him, and not easily explained in this format! Had he gone to that ethereal void of wraiths and gods? Had he crossed over to the land of dead? HAD HE GONE UTTERLY MAD? Had he simply fallen asleep during another lecture? NO! It was in this astral plane between reality and dream, nexus of dimension, the OMNIVERSE, that he first learned to use his powers, clawing madly to survive against nightmarish demons and malevolent cosmic shadows!

21 Comments on "R.I.P. Neil Armstrong, 1930-2012"

  1. Anarchy Pony | Aug 25, 2012 at 5:50 pm |

    To be perfectly honest, I thought he was already dead…

  2. I tried to imagine being Neil Armstrong…

    …at night, coming home from dinner, or maybe taking the trash out, or whatever, and then maybe catching a glimpse of the moon in the night sky.

    And saying to himself as he stared at it for a few seconds: “Huh. Wow…”

    What a feeling that must have been for him.

  3. mole_face | Aug 25, 2012 at 9:09 pm |

    “Complications from a cardiac procedure” my ASS!! Obviously the Illuminati is gradually killing off everyone who participated in the moon landing hoax. Considering Neil Armstrong’s access to the elite’s secret life extension technology, he should’ve lived at least another decade or two.

  4. CosmicAmazing | Aug 25, 2012 at 10:06 pm |

    I wonder if he told any secrets before he passed…

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