Don’t Vote for Archie Or Jughead

Picture: Maurice Coyne, Louis Silberkleit, John L. Goldwater (PD)

A recent essay at Spyoptaelip draws comparisons between those two archetypal images of bumbling teenage Americana and our two presidential candidates:

The great non-event of the 2012 presidential election is upon us. The money has been pouring in, the scripts and teleprompters are in place, and the pantomime is about to begin. No candidate would have gotten this far unless permitted to do so by the macro-engineers who manipulate all things; that mysterious force “behind the curtain” that vets and trains and stage-manages its unwitting puppet-clones so as to do its bidding.

Archie and Jughead are comic book characters meant to portray normal American kids. Readers are supposed to be able to relate to them, much as Americans are expected to relate to Obama and Romney. Archie is a lovable, though accident-prone, redheaded 17-year-old and a typical small-town teenager. This might be Obama. Generous, well-mannered, but clumsy, he is genuinely liked by many of his friends. Jughead has been Archie’s best friend ever since childhood. Jughead wears a trademark “clubhouse beanie” and an inscrutable, closed-eyelid expression. Often Jughead has to help Archie out from tricky situations. Jughead usually knows when Archie’s ideas will not work, but is powerless to avoid getting involved.

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6 Comments on "Don’t Vote for Archie Or Jughead"

  1. if I was gonna vote for a 50’s cartoon character for Puppet Prez
    it would be Veronica or Betty

    and to compare Mitski & Obumer to Archie & Jughead
    is an insult to those cartoon characters

  2. lifobryan | Sep 4, 2012 at 12:06 am |

    OK here’s a stab at a few 1950s cartoon characters:

    CLINTON – Huckleberry Hound
    GORE – Gumby
    GW BUSH – Beetle Bailey
    CHENEY – Dick Dastardly
    OBAMA – Wile E. Coyote 
    BIDEN – Foghorn Leghorn
    ROMNEY – Daddy Warbucks
    RYAN – Pinocchio 

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