Ninjas Attack Talkers & Texters In Movie Theater

Somehow I don’t think this concept is going to play well in Colorado, but apparently in London it’s acceptable. Via SlashFilm:

The Prince Charles Cinema is said to be employing volunteer “ninjas” to regulate good behavior among the audience. The term “ninja” is being used loosely here — they’re really more like glorified ushers in black skintight bodysuits — but whatever you want to call them, it’s certainly an interesting way to keep the peace. More afer the jump.

The so-called ninjas are ordinary cinephiles who agree to “guard” screenings in exchange for free admission. When they spot a patron talking, texting, throwing popcorn, kicking seats, or otherwise engaging in rude behavior, they swoop down to give the jerk in question a talking-to. One of the program’s recent targets, moviegoer Abdul Stagg, recounted his experience:

I normally hate noisy people in cinemas, but I got a call from my friend just as the movie started and thought I could get away with taking it. The last thing I expected was two completely blacked-out people suddenly appearing by our seats and give me and my mates a warning to shut up. It was actually pretty terrifying at first, but then I realised it was a bit of a laugh and a great way to make it clear what I was doing was having an impact on those around me. It certainly made me hang up and shut up for the rest of the film.

The scheme came about when…

[continues at SlashFilm]


Majestic is gadfly emeritus.

Latest posts by majestic (see all)

19 Comments on "Ninjas Attack Talkers & Texters In Movie Theater"

  1. I don’t mind this in the public cinema,
    but I really dislike it when it happens in my Home Surround Sound Cineplex Cocoon.
    That TSA security thing goes a little too far sometimes,
    but I do enjoy their occasional testicle grope.

  2. chinagreenelvis | Sep 15, 2012 at 3:32 am |

    I’m kind of disappointed they don’t actually behead the perpetrators with katanas. Because that’s pretty much exactly what needs to happen.

  3. BrianApocalypse | Sep 15, 2012 at 9:44 am |

    This is excellent news. I fully support the enforcement of strict totalitarian laws within cinemas.

    • David Howe | Sep 15, 2012 at 11:13 am |

       whatever it takes to shut you the fuck up

      • BrianApocalypse | Sep 15, 2012 at 2:01 pm |

        You’re trying to start an argument about *this*? Seriously?

        • David Howe | Sep 15, 2012 at 2:23 pm |

          An argument requires engagement.  I’m not engaging you.

          • BrianApocalypse | Sep 15, 2012 at 2:23 pm |

             Soo..what are you doing?

          • David Howe | Sep 15, 2012 at 2:24 pm |

             not everything is about you…..

          • BrianApocalypse | Sep 15, 2012 at 2:30 pm |

             OK you’re gonna have to explain cos I really don’t know what you’re talking about.

          • Xena the warrior princess | Sep 15, 2012 at 7:32 pm |

            He was joking about people being too loud in the theaters, and it taking a tremendous amount of law enforcement to get people to shut the fuck up. So when he said “you” he meant the general loud movie goer. I hope you were not counter trolling because that would blow my mind. 

  4. Matt Staggs | Sep 15, 2012 at 11:19 am |

    I’ve just about stopped going to movies in the theaters because of how people behave. It’s not worth how irritated I get.

    • Jin The Ninja | Sep 15, 2012 at 11:44 am |

      i remember how my perception of viewership radically changed at a midnight showing at mall of america. i never realised how amazing it was to watch a movie with an interactive audience.

      • Matt Staggs | Sep 15, 2012 at 11:49 am |

        To each his own. I prefer silence. The clatter, noise and flash of cellphones, people shouting at the screen or each other, it all makes me nuts. This is my idea of a perfect theater:

        • Jin The Ninja | Sep 15, 2012 at 2:03 pm |

          the only time i go to the theatre is for film festival screenings (i live in a major film fest town). i haven’t seen a major release in a theatre for more than 5 years.

      • BrianApocalypse | Sep 15, 2012 at 2:00 pm |

         Yeah I’ve been in a few screenings like that which were very cool. I find they usually work with movies which are like big cultural events (the kind that usually get midnight premieres).

    • Apathesis | Sep 15, 2012 at 4:36 pm |

       I went to see The Dark Knight Rises by myself on a Sunday evening a couple weeks after it premiered.  I arrived early and scoped out the best seat: dead center.  Of course, my experience was sullied when two guys and a woman decided to sit behind and to the left of my seat.  Why sit there when so many other great seats were open!?
      The woman could not shut her the trap.  She kept gasping and sighing in disgust whenever someone was killed, beat up, etc.  It was so obnoxious to have every incident of violence punctuated with “Ohmygod” or “Jesus!” or “Ugh! Ugh…”  At least her friends shut their mouths and told her to do the same, even if she failed to comply with such a simple and courteous request. 

      Someone who is easily disgusted with PG-13 violence should stay home.

  5. Anarchy Pony | Sep 15, 2012 at 12:26 pm |

    They need rigging that allows them to swoop down from the ceiling. 

  6. Infvocuernos | Sep 15, 2012 at 2:25 pm |

    I wonder how long its going to take before they catch the first zentia freak masturbating.   

  7. The emperor | Sep 15, 2012 at 7:40 pm |

    Its a public place, there will be chaos. Sometimes you get a silent group, sometimes you get a noisy bunch. But assholes too cheap to pay admission being used to patrol and enforce silence is annoying. If they create a theater were silence is enforced and people are warned before hand giving movie goers a choice, that’s ok with me. Charge a little more and pay the damn ninjas some money before they revolt. 

Comments are closed.