Singularity Averted, The Google Machine Still Can’t Parse Irony

So now that google calculates bacon numbers automatically, a few pop culture mavens have been systematically trying to break it:

For example, I typed in the name of a high school friend who was legitimately in a movie with Kevin Bacon — Ben Saypol (hi, Ben!), “Telling Lies in America,” 1997 — and that gave me nothing, too, even though Ben is totally someone in the real world. And if you think you’re going to type in your own name and get an answer, forget it, unless you’re Susan Sarandon or something. It may not recognize you either.

The Google Box’s problems go deeper than that, however. Disinfo has discovered through the application of highly efficient research ninjas that the Google Box believes that Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan was actually in the movie Powder. This seems to be because of long running joke based on the fact that Corgan is a creepy, pasty bald pale white guy, just like the creepy, pasty bald white guy main character in the creepy childmolester directed film sensation of 1995. Based on this error, Google’s knowledge matrix algorithm failed to separate the actual cast of the movie Powder, which did not include Billy Corgan, from the extensive real world mockery of the notoriously arrogant rock star who choosing to adopt a bald look immediately after the movie came out. So now it has erroneously assigned Billy Corgan a bacon number of “2” as of the date of this writing, September 13 2012:

For the moment, we are clearly safe from any coming robot apocalypse and takeover by SkyNet Google-built AIs. Explain that one, Ray Kurzweil.

J.F. Quackenbush

JF Quackenbush is a poet and lawyer who lives in the desert of the real.

3 Comments on "Singularity Averted, The Google Machine Still Can’t Parse Irony"

  1. LadyAuPair | Sep 14, 2012 at 5:22 pm |

    Billy Corgan’s Bacon number is 2

    Billy Corgan and Mickey Rourke appeared in Spun (2002)
    Mickey Rourke and Kevin Bacon appeared in Diner (1982)

  2. I want my search engine to be like my gods
    omniscient and omnipresent   

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